Doomed To Dream
by Lady of the Phoenix
Summary: No system is perfect, and Sollux Captor hears it every time he sleeps. Born dreaming of the voices of the imminently dead, his whole life starts to change with the changing of one voice. Sollux must seek support from an unexpected source, and it will change his life forever. Lives Under the Pink Moon - Part 3
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: So here we are. Starting all over again. Can you believe it? I'm already enjoying it.

If you're new to the series, I very strongly urge that you do not read this story before Behind Blue Lies, as it contains a variety of spoilers for that piece. If you're returning, man do I have a surprise for you. Read on and find out.

* * *

**Doomed to Dream – Part 1**

It's a scene both familiar and new, but it's always a scene familiar and new. Every time he closes his eyes he's in some shadowy place, surrounded by strangers frozen in time and space. Everything about them utterly still, frozen, captured. Dead. Except their eyes, except their voices. They call to him with both, their voices impossibly quiet, impossibly loud, impossibly present despite their lips never moving. Their minds, their eyes, their voices follow him. No matter how far, how long, how desperately he ran they were always there. So he'd given up running sweeps ago. Learned to make himself still, silent, open to their voices, their words. It was the only peace he was granted. The only peace he'd ever known. The only refuge from the ill will of the damned. When he sat and waited they whispered instead of screaming. It was the nearest thing to true restful sleep that Sollux Captor had known since the manifestation of the rarer of his psychic 'gifts,' the ability to hear the voices of the immanent dead.

Truth was he'd always thought it to be more of a curse.

Nonetheless here he was, caught up in a new 'dream,' half annoyed and half relieved. Already the darkness was fading in a way he couldn't quite describe, but he'd grown used to these last three sweeps. The quality of the darkness felt different, promising that he'd soon wake up naturally. Consciousness couldn't come too soon either. The spirits, ghosts of the soon to die had been growing oddly restless of late, in a way that had been putting him on edge. Something about them was different. Voices he'd known for sweeps as the faintest of whispers had grown suddenly into shouts at times. As if something was changing the normal flow of death. As if something other than nature was trying to capture Beforus and bend it to a very different will.

Still the darkness started to soften, and Sollux might have appreciated it too were it not for the fact that something somewhere in the darkness changed. A voice that had been soft was louder. Much louder. Not quite at the level of wordless scream that Sollux had started to associate with violence, or at the loud and low mournful wail of those age stole away. No, it wasn't too much louder in the scheme of things, but it was different, and markedly so. Which Sollux only knew because it was one of the voices he always oriented himself on in this twisted realm of the doomed. As fast as he could—it could have been the speed of a thought or an hour, who knew—Sollux threw himself to his feet and into a dead run in the direction of the voice. Before him the misty dark world of his gift unfolded, creating halls and doors, fields and hives, a whole dreamscape world that he navigated purely by an instinct that never led him wrong. Soon, too soon and yet too long, he stood before a familiar frozen form, and swallowed his imagined exhaustion.

The face of the troll was twisted, contorted in fear and pain it never should have known because nothing here moved while Sollux did. Wasn't that supposed to be some kind of rule in this place? That the only thing that changed was him? But no, the frozen troll was different from how he had been when Sollux had checked in upon him after falling asleep. His face was shadowed, eyes hazy, and mouth open and emitting the pained whispers that had brought Sollux here.

Then it was gone. Everything was gone. The quality of the darkness changed completely as Sollux sat up on his slab. It was a less oppressive darkness, one broken in many places by points of blue, red, green light from status indicators on electronics. This was the dark of a respiteblock, his respiteblock, arranged for sleeping. Sollux wanted to scream, to rage at the world around him and whatever had ripped him from the realm of sleep before he'd figured out just what had changed.

"Sollux!" a voice called out, warm and worried and filling the block even as the door opened and allowed light from the hall to spill into the room.

He must have cried out in his sleep, Sollux realized as an older troll entered the block, sat on the edge of his slab, and swept Sollux into his arms, tangled bed coverings and all. Must have shouted the name, because here the troll was, in the living, breathing, moving flesh. The only pain in his voice belayed by whispers of comforting nonsense as the troll held him close. When he won himself free from the too tight embrace and had a chance to look closely, there was no sign of pain in his face, only worry in the golden eyes. Concern for whatever had prompted Sollux to cry out in the morning hours. The rightful worry of a guardian for ward when said ward was awoken by what many called daymares, but Sollux knew as painful futures.

"Sollux, what's wrong?" the older troll asked, his voice low, soothing, reverberating in his chest the way Sollux had always loved as a wiggler. "What did you dream? Do you wish me to call them..."

"No," Sollux gasped out. The local enforcers only really paid him half a mind when they needed him. Needed to know whether a premature death really was natural or not. or when they needed his other skills. Most of them blew off his visions, laughed over portents. Almost understandable. The few trolls in modern and recorded history who had confirmed visions of any sort had never had them paired with the kind of psionic powers Sollux had. They didn't believe. And how could they? Sollux only did because he lived it every sleep cycle.

"What was it?" the older troll, Sollux's guardian Cyclos Anders, asked in a way that really meant 'who was it?' Sollux didn't, couldn't bring himself to answer. How was he supposed to tell his guardian that he'd heard his death approaching, and not the natural one Cyclos had earned.

"Nothing," Sollux replied, the same answer he always used to keep the burden of knowledge from Cyclos. No need for both of them to suffer the knowledge.

"Sollux..."

"I am not having this conversation again," Sollux lisped around his oddly proportioned teeth, yet another cruel joke of reality. "We don't share this."

"Please, Sollux, I just want..."

"To help. I know. Sorry, it's just... I can't do this to you, okay? Some things are better off unknown. Trust me."

Obviously Cyclos didn't agree, but he was nothing if not accepting of Sollux. Supportive even. A perfect guardian for a flawed ward. Nothing that could be done for it now, though. Not that Sollux would want anything done. He pitied his guardian powerfully, and had no intention of letting anyone take Cyclos from him before his time. Not a single damn troll, not even the Empress Gyliea herself.

"Alright. But I will be scheduling a meeting with your..."

"No," Sollux snapped, hating himself for it as soon as he saw pain flickering over Cyclos's long, expressive face. He hated being mad at his guardian, even for a moment, and always felt guilty when he snapped at the old troll.

"No," Sollux repeated, softer. "I don't need a thinkrapist. Just some real sleep. Soothing sleep."

Not that it would come. No one but his thinkrapist and psychic trainers had ever known the full extent of his doomed vision. Sollux didn't want anyone to know. What was the point of dreams anyway? A troll lost control of what their pans did, losing hours of potential thought just because the body was too weak to keep up. Besides, meeting the thinkrapist was the last thing on his list of desires. She'd notice, she always noticed, that he wasn't taking his medication. They'd fight, she'd talk to Cyclos because she was concerned, and that would make things even more tense between them. Every moment they spent arguing, disagreeing, was a moment that they weren't spending in some other way. They had few enough moments to share these days. Cyclos was in demand, worked often and far from the hive. And he was getting on in years. Between his life's work and his age, Sollux was rapidly running out of time with his guardian, and every moment of it was too precious to squander with fights over the pills that made his head spin and ache and made his psionics sluggish and yet did nothing at all about the dreams.

Cyclos didn't seem as convinced by Sollux's words as Sollux might have wished, but there was really only so much that he could do about that. The older troll was prone to worrying, something that was quite understandable when a troll's first ward came in their old age. Not that all warm bloods bothered to take wards. Some were more content to live their lives without the burden. Cyclos, though, had opted to care for Sollux late in his life, and his concern was usually palpable. Worry that he couldn't do enough for his ward, couldn't be there for him when it would be important because he would already have passed on. It meant that there was coddling sometimes, far more than Sollux cared for as often as not, but it also meant that at times like this it was hard to get his guardian to just give up his concern and move on. Right now he needed his guardian to let this go faster than he normally would have. Because as much as he didn't want to talk to a thinkrapist about this, there was someone he wanted to speak with. Someone who might be some help, might be better at figuring this all out.

"I'm not sure if..."

"I'm fine," Sollux insisted, forcing himself to smile despite for all the world wanting to rage. "And you've got a trip to take in the evening, right? Get some sleep."

That got a chuckle out of Cyclos. "Dear me, sometimes it seems that you're treating me like a ward."

"Well, if you'd ever learned to take care of yourself without me," Sollux teased, shaking his head.

"You little rogue..."

"I'm only what you've raised me to be."

"Lies. All lies. I tried to raise a perfect gentletroll wise in matters of the emotionally well adjusted. And instead I got you."

"You can't help the fact that I..."

"I know," Cyclos said, mussing up Sollux's already sleep disheveled hair. "Remember to take your medication while I'm gone."

"As if I could forget," Sollux mumbled, shuddering at the very thought. "Now get out of here, get some rest."

At last Cyclos released Sollux and rose from the side of the slab. With a final, soft smile, his guardian bid him good sleep, and slipped out of the room, closing the door behind him and shutting out the light of the hall. For a while Sollux lay there, stretched out on his slab, waiting to be sure that his guardian was back on his own slab resting. After what felt like a good amount of time, he slid from the slab, hauled a light warmth garment on over his resting clothes, and made for one of the clusters of red, blue and green lights in a corner of his block.

It took only a minute after pressing an amber light for his system to start to boot up, leaving Sollux with nothing to do for a few minutes but to wait. Still, he put the time to good enough use, digging around through a miniature thermal hull for a package of chilled, citrus plant derived nourishment drink, and a half-finished package of cheese sticks. Though the things were particularly marketed towards wigglers, Sollux had never given up a fondness for them, and had happily leapt at the chance to purchase more during their last run to the food acquisition location. Drink and cheese in hand Sollux perched himself on the edge of his swivel chair, rolled himself up to the monitor, and smiled as the screen came to life just in time with his security screen. Time to figure out what to do about his dream.

twinArmageddon [TA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

TA: we need two talk

TA: TZ come on ii know you're there 2o ju2t an2wer me already

TA: don't tell me you aren't onliine riight now becau2e you are totally logged iin

TA: then agaiin you never log out iit2 almo2t liike you want two confu2e people

TA: wiill you ju2t an2wer already iim not falliing for thii2 becau2e you are clearly onliine a2 iit ii2 miideveniing for you and youre between cla22e2 2o 2top actiing liike you aren't there

GC: G33Z SOLLUX C4NT YOU 3XH1B1T 3V3N TH3 L1TTL3ST 4MOUNT OF P4T13NC3?

GC: 1 W4S PR3TTY BUSY D34L1NG W1TH 4 D1S4GR33M3NT OV3R TH3 CONNOT4T1ONS OF W4RDSH1P L3G1ST1C4T1ON 1N TH3 L4ST F1FTY SW33PS

GC: WH1CH 1 W4S OF COURS3 W1NN1NG

TA: what ii2 iit wiith you and neediing two wiin? no dont an2wer that becau2e ii really dont have tiime for thii2

TA: ii had a dream

GC: 1 KNOW TH1S M4Y COM3 4S 4 SHOCK TO YOU SOLLUX BUT M4NY TROLLS 1 KNOW R3GUL4RLY DR34M DUR1NG TH31R SL33P CYCL3S

GC: YOUR 1NCLUS1ON W1TH1N TH31R R4NKS 1S H4RDLY SOM3TH1NG TH4T 1S WORLD SH4K1NG

TA: yeah not world 2hakiing that every tiime ii clo2e my eye2 ii can hear the voiice2 of the dead

TA: not really a thiing at all thank2 for telliing me ii gue22 ii 2hould return my attentiion two my normal liife

TA: no waiit ii forgot ii dont hear the voiice2 of the dead but of the 2oon two be dead

TA: major fuckiing diifference becau2e one ii2 common among maroon2 and the other ii2 liiterally unheard of iin the hii2tory of our race

GC: OK4Y OK4Y 1 G3T 1T TH3R3 1S 4 B1G D34L GO1NG ON H3R3

GC: M4N SOLLUX YOU R34LLY N33D TO G3T B3TT3R 4T K33P1NG ON YOUR M3D1C4T1ON

TA: ju2t who do you thiink you are two comment on my mediicatiion?

GC: YOUR MO1R41L... DUH

TA: well 2iince you were the poiint that poiinted out you are my moiiraiil then dont you thiink iit2 fiittiing for you two take me 2eriiou2ly when iim comiing two you

TA: ii mean ii2nt that what a real moraiil would do? 2upport theiir pale quadrant?

GC: OK4Y OK4Y 1 G3T YOUR PO1NT

GC: TH3 D3F3NS3 W1LL CONC3D3 TO TH3 PO1NT 4ND 4CC3PT TH3 PR3M1S3 OF TH3 CONV3RS4T1ON

GC: WH4TS GO1NG ON? OTH3R TH4N CR33PY FUTUR3 DR34MS OF D34D P3OPL3 4ND 4LL TH4T

TA: one of the voiice2 changed TZ changed iin a really bad way

GC: TH4T M34NS V1OL3NT D34TH R1GHT? OR 4T L34ST UNN4TUR4L

GC: SOUNDS L1K3 YOU N33D TO G3T 4HOLD OF YOUR LOC4L 3NFORC3RS TO D34L W1TH TH4T 4NY CLU3 WHO 1T W4S?

TA: cyclo2

GC: FORG1V3 M3 BUT 1 DONT TH1NK 1 R34D TH4T R1GHT B3C4US3 CYCLOS 1S TH3 N4M3 OF YOUR GU4RD14N

GC: TH3 F4M3D 4ND HONOR3D WR1T3R 4ND PRODUC3R OF 1CON1C R3D ROMCOMS?

GC: M4YB3 1T W4S JUST 4 D4YM4R3 SOLLUX WHO WOULD W4NT TO HURT CYCLOS?

TA: do ii look liike an iidiiot two you TZ?

GC: W3LL 1 C4NT S4Y B3C4US3 1 C4NT S33 YOU 4T TH3 MOM3NT SOLLUX

TA: dammiit TZ thii2 ii2 2eriiou2

TA: ii know what my own guardiian2 voiice 2ound2 liike even when iim a2leep

TA: what am ii 2uppo2ed two do?

GC: F1RST 4ND FOR3MOST 1 WOULD R34LLY SUGG3ST YOU GO TO YOUR 3NFORC3R FR13NDS TO T3LL TH3M WH4T YOU DR34MT

GC: TH3Y COULD PUT H1M 1NTO PROT3CT1V3 CUSTODY

TA: problem 1: they dont beliieve me half the tiime problem 2: cyclo2 would never accept protectiion problem 3: iit2 not loud enough two mean iit2 happeniing iimmediiately 2o the enforcer2 wiill get bored waiitiing for the thiing

GC: YOU ST1LL N33D TO T3LL TH3M 1T 1S YOUR R3SPONS1B1L1TY 4S 4 TROLL LOY4L TO ORD3R 4ND STRUCTUR3 TO R3PORT SUCH OFF3NS3S 4G41NST 4NOTH3R TROLL

GC: 4ND MOR3 1MPORT4NTLY TH4N TH4T YOU B3TT3R K33P ON YOUR M3D1C4T1ON SOLLUX

TA: no fuckiing way tz ii am not goiing two take away the only defen2e my guardiian may have iif people refu2e two beliieve me

GC: SOLLUX YOU N33D THOS3 P1LLS

TA: they dull my p2iioniic2

GC: 4ND TH3Y K33P YOU ST4BL3 YOU 4LW4YS S33M TO FORG3T TH4T P4RT SOLLUX YOU N33D THOS3 TH1NGS 1 C4N N3V3R S4Y TH4T 3NOUGH

GC: 1 H3R3BY FORB1D YOU FROM C34S1NG YOUR T4K1NG OF YOUR P1LLS

TA: when ii feel liike ii dont need them two protect me or my guardiian iill agree but for now they have two waiit

GC: SOLLUX!

TA: ii know what iim doiing TZ have faiith iin that

GC: 1 DONT TH1NK TH4T F41TH 1S R34LLY WH4TS 4T PL4Y H3R3 1M MOR3 CONC3RN3D FOR YOUR CONF1D3NC3 1N YOURS3LF SOM3T1M3S

TA: ii have perfectly fiine confiidence

GC: ONLY H4LF TH3 T1M3 WH3N YOU 4R3NT ON YOUR... N3V3R M1ND YOU DONT L1ST3N 4NYW4Y

TA: and you ju2t beat dead hoofbea2t2 untiil they admiit that youre riight

GC: HOOFB34STS C4NT T4LK

TA: exactly

twinArmageddon [TA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: I'm back. Did you miss me? The answer is probably yes if you're reading this. As you may or may not know, I've been SERIOUSLY bogged down by classes for a while. But I'm back(ish) and hope that I can return to a (mostly) regular update schedule. For now, how about we just pretend I didn't disappear for a while and embrace some Sollux? A really shorter chapter this time because I do still have things that must be done.

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 2

Thing that Terezi tended to forget was that most members of Beforus's Enforcers weren't exactly the most open minded of trolls. Enforcers worked by the books, reacted by set procedures. It was up to their Detector forces to think outside of the carefully scripted dance of legal requirements. The Detectors and technical wizzes of Comtrolls like Sollux did the real work, the believing and looking outside of the realms of the normal. Detectors and Comtrolls and Legisticators thought. Enforcers did. Which meant until there was a questionable death on the table, or something else they needed him for, Sollux was nothing more than a techie in the eyes of the Enforcers. A techie that rarely was good new the few times he made the jaunt out of Cyclos's comfortable hive and into the core of the town where the local Enforcer division he was assigned to had a building.

Still, at least he had a proper excuse for going in today. It was time for the bi-perigee apiculture review, and if necessary, upgrade and system reinforcement. Sollux would be expected by two hours past sundown. And if he showed up a bit early to try and get whichever old coolblood was on desk duty to take him seriously enough to file a report, well that was something, right? Still, it meant Sollux had an hour or two to blow before he even had to start preparing to head out. Which left him needing something to do to pass the time, something other than sit around and try desperately hard not to think about what he'd dreamt.

With a sigh Sollux turned his attention to sorting through the variety of forums and discussion threads he followed religiously. Nothing new on Cyclos's latest movie—not that he liked him, Sollux just liked to keep up with what people were saying about his guardian—or on the production process of the pending Modern Trollfare 3 release. In fact, the only things that seemed to have seen any activity over his 'sleep' cycle were the forums that one could only get into through some creative hacking. It was pretty much the test of worthiness to be there since most of the discussions were on apiculture development, specialized coding methods, and other things that the members tended to float around.

The activity was mostly based on the boards that people created at three in the afternoon, unable to sleep, talking about purely ridiculous stuff. There had been some activity on the discussion of different merits and shortcomings of the ApisAF versus the classic ApisBB apiculture alignments. Yet there was one other thread, new since he'd gone to 'sleep,' which drew Sollux immediately to attention. A new thread in the less commonly used 'sights and theories' board. Most of the stuff here was pure stupid conjecture, or conspiracy theories with little to no basis in reality. Every now and then, though, someone hit on things that made Sollux nervous. One of the most common forms of this was rumors related to the hemohierarchist movement.

Most trolls didn't believe in hemohierarchists. Treated them as if they were little more than boogie-trolls to be used when some troll was treating others inappropriately. People didn't want to be accused of hemohierarchy, it wasn't something that the Enforcers took well. Still, it wasn't something that people thought were all that common. Why would trolls hate each other because of their blood color? Sollux, though, he couldn't help but believe. The screams were too common in his dreams, they changed too abruptly and frequently for him to believe that there wasn't someone out there wishing ill on people, especially since the screams were always from lower bloods. No, hierarchists were real, Sollux was sure of it, and while there were few people who agreed with him about it, those few that he knew did tended to frequent these boards.

And in Sollux's sleep cycle one of them had posted something new about the person referred to only as 'the shadow.' One of the greatest mysteries about the hierarchists was that, about a sweep ago, something had changed. Someone, apparently, was taking the hushed whispers about hierarchists seriously, and rumors began to spread that the troll was helping victims. The hows never really came to the surface, and there was little to confirm or deny the existence of this 'shadow,' but the rumors were enough to start people talking. To make guesses at which suspected hierarchists victims that had rebounded was the work of this individual. To wonder whether or not the shadow was keeping others from getting hurt. There was always something flying around, speculating on the whos and hows of the shadow. Tonight there was something new along those veins.

User SapphiricDreaming_xX had posted a new thread, filled with vague statements and yet absolute certainty that what they were saying was true. Most of the others who had responded to the thread so far were easily blowing off Sapphiric's rambling, calling it baseless conclusions and witless raving. Except Sollux wasn't sure. Everyone had heard about Sapphiric's beating at the hands of suspected hierarchists for the simple act of 'getting in their way.' A lot of people thought that the troll had lost it a bit after that. Which wasn't too out there of a comment, seeing as Sapphiric had changed a lot since they'd recovered from the assault. But Sollux knew Sapphiric better than that, had worked with them on a few occasions while following strange leads on cases into the parts of the web that they were more familiar with. Sapphiric wasn't the kind of troll to make up baseless allegations, and if they were claiming that just two nights before they had been approached by a strange troll offering assistance after their attack, provided they promised to say nothing of where the help came from, well, Sollux believed the obviously frantically typed words.

Eventually he'd have to go after Sapphiric, figure out just what they knew. In the mean time, though, he really just needed to get ready for work, didn't he? Well, not needed, it took way less time than what he had to do it in, but if he got caught up in the still ongoing debate he'd never make it in time. With a sigh Sollux closed the window, directed his computer to shut down for while he was gone, and then set about preparing himself to head in for a day or more of annoyance.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: Yeah, I'm back. Did you miss me? Sorry about that. I've pretty much had it rather busy. I spent most of December caught up not only with traveling and visiting families, but I was part of two Homestuck centric Secret Santa giveaways, and I was designing Homestuck cross stitch bookmarks. And let's not even go into the fact that people had expectations upon my time. Would have gotten back to it earlier this month but things got complicated early in January. I got an e-mail asking for an interview for a job. I jumped at it. I've since spent most of January working at the university's bookstore. PLUS classes were starting. But I've got some time right now, and while I'm working on SEVERAL other stories right now, I'm moved to put them aside to give you a bit of time with Sollux. Hope you can forgive me for being away.

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 3

"Sollux."

All Sollux wanted to do when he heard that voice was sigh in resignation. Not that he was going to, of course. That would be, in it's own way, the worst kind of mistake. Tyrals Grisok, the grizzled old teal troll that looked like he had to be some kind of troll-cholerbear cross breed, was the only one that could put so damn much disdain into his voice at the sight of Sollux. He was, for lack of a better term, a traditionalist. If there was any member of the Enforcers of this division that had no time for 'upstart young yellows who got it in them heads that we needs them watching our cyber-rears' and openly scoffed whenever Sollux's precognition was so much as hinted at. Of all of the members of the division, it was Grisok that Sollux had most wanted to avoid this evening.

"Grisok," Sollux greeted the older troll, keeping his voice level as if he hadn't noticed the slight the other was giving him by only using his first name. Sollux wasn't going to stoop to the same level, though not because he was necessarily above that kind of thing. Grisok could lay into him for improperly addressing a superior.

Not that he was a superior. Maybe once, but everyone knew that he wasn't really in the chain of command these days. The teal had been in the service since he was Sollux's age, many MANY sweeps ago. It was said amongst some of the older blues and purples that Grisok had once been a pretty damn good at his work. He'd been more than just a normal beat Enforcer. The only thing that had kept him from being a Detector was his refusal of the promotions time and time again. Yet the older Grisok had gotten, the more and more set he'd become in the ways he'd been trained. The problem was that Beforus was always changing, and Grisok was not. As he'd gotten older he'd been quiely shuffled out of the way of real responsibility as it started to keep him from handling situations he was thrust into properly. Now the old troll served almost exclusively as the front desk troll and dispatch when it was necessary. Which meant that the rare situations where Sollux had to interact with other Enforcers, he had to do it through Grisok.

"What brings you here, tech-pan?" Grisok grumbled, staring down his sniffer at Sollux. The intention, Sollux was sure, was to make an intimidating appearance. All it did, though, was make Sollux want to laugh. The combination of poorly tamed, insanely uncontrolled hair, and the way that his horns rose from his head and then curved forward to a point like talons, managed to present a comic appearance when mixed with the fact that the old troll's teal eyes were shot through with the red that meant he was probably going slowly blind.

"Review," Sollux said, turning a small portion of his pan over to his psionics. If there was a troll he wasn't going to report his dream to, it was Grisok. No, the only real option was Captain Waleti, and if Sollux directly asked if the Captain was in there was no doubt that Grisok would refuse to answer. So his answer would be gained in the best tool he had.

"We ain't need your kind in for hours yet."

"'Your kind?' Really, Grisok? That sounds a bit like something a hierarchist would say."

"You know I ain't even like them shits..." Grisok quickly said, almost as if he was backpeddling on a two-wheeled device. It was almost funny to listen to the way cooler blood reacted to such accusations, whether they really thought they existed or not. "I meant you techie-pans."

"Good to know you're only basing your opinion of me on vital work that I must perform for the sake of this division, rather than on my blood color. Makes me fell all kinds of better," Sollux said, smiling at the way that Grisok looked so damn frustrated that his cheeks were starting to take on a teal cast.

"I ain't said that either," Grisok protested. The protest grew into a near roar of rage as the schedule, wrapped in a glowing cocoon of red and blue psionic energy, floated past his face and flew into Sollux's hands. "And I ain't said you could see that either!"

"I don't remember asking to see it anyway," Sollux said, dancing a few steps back and away from the desk. As quickly as he could he let his eyes dart over the list, searching for the only bit of information he was really looking for. Sure enough there it was, a name and a time that would work. Apparently the Captain was in right now, which meant he could try to explain before heading off to the work he was expected for today.

"Give that back you damn..."

"Here," Sollux said, flipping the clipboard through the air as if he hadn't really cared about it at all. Better not to get Grisok too riled up. After all, Sollux was pretty sure he didn't want the guy getting suspended for hemoist slurs. Even he had to give Grisok credit for being good at what he did, even if these days it was only taking reports and sending the Enforcers best suited to different tasks to the places they would most be of use.

"Pleasure talking with you, Grisok, as always," he said, bowing a bit as the old troll fumbled with the clipboard. "But I've got places to go and trolls to see. Later."

All Sollux could do as he made a bee-line for the back offices, was hope that Waleti would at least hear him out.

* * *

"Excuse me, Captain Waleti, but can I have a moment of your time?"

Sollux shifted uneasily from foot to foot as he stood in the doorway of the Captain's office block. The indigo blooded female was bent over a stack of paper reports on her desk, her attention obviously riveted on whatever it was she was reading. In all truth, he hadn't wanted to disturb her, not when she was so deep into work. Okay, so maybe it wasn't because of that. Maybe it was because he loved having the chance to look at her when she didn't know it. Not because he was a creeper like some trolls he'd met, of course. It was just that when Waleti wasn't presenting the strong, stoic face that was appropriate to being a captain of a division of the Enforcers, she was something else entirely.

Before he had spoken, for instance, she had been a marvel to look at. Instead of having her normal, rather blank but strong expression, her face was softened and clearly displaying her frustration at what she was reading. Her silken looking hair was pulled back from her face in a thick braid, but the long bangs that framed her face seemed to be falling in front of her eyes, enough that Sollux even caught her blowing at them to get them out of her gorgeous, bright indigo eyes. Part of him always wondered what had driven her into this like of work. From her looks alone she was made for the screen, made to be the heroine in one of his guardian's movies, and her ability to be in command of her emotions made him certain that she would act well too.

To say that Sollux had a bit of a flush crush on his captain might have been a bit of an understatement. And as he stood in the doorway of her office, looking at her, he couldn't help but wonder whether the only reason Terezi had told him to report his dream was to get him into a room alone with Waleti. It was times like this that he regretted telling about his possible red feelings for his superior. After all, Terezi knew better than anyone that fraternizing with a superior was against all of the rules and codes of the Enforcers.

"Comtroll Captor?" Waleti asked, looking up from her paperwork. Already her serious mask was in place. "How much of a moment?"

"I had one of my dreams last night."

For a moment Waleti just stared at him, half-frowning, before she nodded and gestured for him to take one of the seats across from her desk. Once that was done she returned her attention to the paperwork, sorting it out and cleaning off a space for to work with and hauling out paper and a pen. Sollux silently closed the door behind him and then settled himself into the unfortunately uncomfortable chair. The second Waleti was set for taking notes she made another gesture to prompt him into speaking.

"I... I don't honestly think you'll need that this time, Captain."

That got her attention quickly enough, making her look up at Sollux almost eagerly. Usually when Sollux came in to report a death that he'd sensed during a sleep cycle they spent almost an hour roughing out a description and every detail Waleti could pull from Sollux. Then they headed over to the staff Drawtist so Sollux could guide the olive through drawing their victim.

"You recognized the victim?"

Sollux sighed, certain that what he said next would destroy his cause with her. Where Grisok was an old fashioned Enforcer and Sollux represented a new form of Enforcing, Waleti fell somewhere in between. Part of that was because she had been in the Enforcer Core for almost twenty sweeps now, forced to know the old ways even as she had to adapt herself and her division to the new ways. Yet she'd been at this long enough that accepting some things, such as Sollux's dreams, could be difficult at the best. Enough times proving himself by hinting them to a fatal crime and having no connection to the victims to suggest he'd done it had proven that much to her. But asking her to believe that he could tell that something had changed... that he'd always known it and kept it from her because he knew she'd never believe it all. Because it was almost impossible for his moirail to believe, for his thinkrapist to believe, for her guardian to believe.

"I know this is going to sound crazy, Captain, but please just hear me out, okay?"

"I always listen when you have something to report, Captor. Your information is..."

"It was my guardian, Ma'am."

That gave her a moment of pause. Then the Captain pushed her paper aside and interlocked her fingers together so she could peer at him over them.

"I'm sorry to hear that..."

"No," Sollux said, shaking his head. "He's not that old yet. That isn't what I meant. Listen, there is more to my power than you've been told. My thinkrapist doesn't give it too much credit, and the psychic registry won't list it unless my thinkrapist and evaluators can prove it's existence, which they can't."

"Sollux..."

"In my dreams, Captain, I hear the voices of the dying, you know that. Except it isn't just the dying. It's the soon to be dead. Those are the ones I bring to you. But I never know them, I never recognize them, so I don't notice early enough. I don't notice with enough time to notice that the voices change. It's not often, but the ones that are going to die violently, they move from the quiet, sad sounds that all trolls have in my head, and they start screaming. They plead for help, for me to keep them safe. And I can't, because I don't notice them over all of the noice until it's too late. But last sleep cycle, I swear to you that last sleep cycle I heard something new. I can always pick out Cyclos's voice, I pay attention because it lets me know how much time I have left with him. And last night, without warning, it moved from quiet sorrow to a low scream. Ma'am, someone is going to try to kill Cyclos soon, and they're going to manage it unless we stop them."

Silence, far too much of it for Sollux's liking. Then, with a sigh, Waleti leaned back in her chair, frowning more severely than Sollux could even begin to enjoy.

"Sollux, what do you expect me to do about this?"

"I want protection assigned to Cyclos when he's out of town on shoots. I can take care of him at the hive with my..."

"I can't do it, Sollux, and you know that. While I can take your word on victims, I can't be sure that you didn't have a..."

"Don't say dayterror. Please, don't try to brush this off as a dayterror. I've never had a dayterror in my life. I don't dream, Ma'am, except for the dreams of the voices. Please..."

"I have only your word that he's threatened. That isn't enough, Sollux."

"If someone wrote a threatening letter you would have to give him protection!"

"If someone wrote him a threatening letter we'd have proof that someone means him harm, Sollux. I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do."

"No, there's nothing you're _willing _to do. Major difference, Captain," he snapped, throwing himself up from his chair. "If you won't do anything for him, then I will."

"Sollux..."

He didn't hear what she was going to follow up with, because already he was through the office block door and was storming away towards the familiar, welcoming safety of the apiculture block. At least there he'd find something he knew about. Because clearly he didn't know much about trolls if he'd honestly thought talking to Waleti would help him. He should have gone with his first instinct and relied only on himself for this. Not that he had any other choice at this point.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: Two updates in one week, who could EVER believe it? Lord knows I hardly can.

* * *

**Doomed to Dream – Part 4**

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling sapphiricDreaming_xX [SD]

TA: 2aph you doiing okay?

SD: §ave it §ollux I know what youre ɖoingϗϗ

TA: what iim doiing? you mean tryiing two 2ee iif a friiend ii2 okay?

SD: i mean coming after me for my §tupiɖ po§ting on the forum§ϗϗ

SD: i get it alreaɖy people are tireɖ of me trying to get attention anɖ i never §houlɖ have ɖone it but really i never woulɖ have expecteɖ you to be one of tho§e who'ɖ §colɖ me for itϗϗ

TA: woah man 2top your ragiing mu2clebea2t2 riight there

TA: fiir2t: whiich of tho2e douchefiin2 deciided they were goiing two giive you griief?

TA: 2econd: never rank me among theiir number2

TA: thiird: giive me permii22iion two 2ee theiir hu2ktop2 explode iin theiir face2

SD: §o you aren't here to yell at me for trying to perpetuate the rumor§ of the §haɖowϗϗ

TA: 2aph ii beliieve iin the 2hadow two 2o do you really thiink iive got the riight two judge?

SD: i §uppo§e that§ true but well you can unɖer§tanɖ my re§traintϗϗ

SD: frozenWing§ trieɖ to give me tunneler§ to eat my proce§§orϗϗ

TA: froz triied two u2e tunneler2 on the troll that made the maiin routiine2 the forum2 u2e for them? how diid he manage two get hii2 way iintwo the forum agaiin?

SD: i §u§pect that it wa§ verizonHub that got him inϗϗ

SD: their locator number§ are rather §imilarϗϗ

TA: locator number2 how diid you get tho2e? the forum ii2 2uppo2ed two prevent tracker2

SD: yeah for everyone but the aɖmin level u§er§ i hackeɖ my way into that group about two §weep§ agoϗϗ

TA: there2 an admiin level ii thought that wa2 ju2t a rumor

SD: anɖ arent you here to talk about rumor§ that may have grain§ of truth to themϗϗ

TA: yeah 2o ii am a biit guiilty there but ii do genuiinely want two know how you are doiing after everythiing

TA: you were really quiiet after thiing2 happened

SD: they broke my finger§ TA i really ɖiɖnt have much of a choiceϗϗ

SD: a§ much a§ i wanteɖ to §hare with people i coulɖntϗϗ

TA: 2hiit arent you a coder for an iimperiial holdiing?

SD: i tolɖ them what happeneɖ but no one believeɖ me at fir§t §o i 'aɖmitteɖ' that a frienɖ acciɖentally §hut the hatch of a lanɖcrawler on my finger§ϗϗ

TA: i tolɖ them what happeneɖ but no one believeɖ me at fir§t §o i 'aɖmitteɖ' that a frienɖ acciɖentally §hut the hatch of a lanɖcrawler on my finger§ϗϗ

SD: it§ a frienɖlier lie to accept than the truthϗϗ

TA: iit2 2ad how the cooler blood2 are le22 wiilliing two admiit two the exii2tence of the hiierarchii2t2

SD: again the frienɖlier lieϗϗ

SD: but that i§nt what you are here to ɖi§cu§§ϗϗ

SD: a§k me what youre really here forϗϗ

TA: ii need two know about the 2hadow 2aph

SD: who even §ay§ thi§ §haɖow even exi§t§ϗϗ

TA: you do and that ii2 more than enough two make me beliieve

TA: ii need two know about thii2 iit2 a matter of liife or death

SD: if you believe me then you have to realize that what i §aiɖ wa§ trueϗϗ

SD: i gave my worɖ that i woulɖ §ay nothing of herϗϗ

SD: FUCKϗϗ

TA: a2 hiilariiou2 a2 iit miight 2eem two be that you let that 2liip the truth of the matter ii2 ii need more than that and the very fact that you 2aiid anythiing on the forum mean2 you dont entiirely feel liike youre bound two keepiing your word

SD: no i ɖo i really ɖo mean to keep my promi§eϗϗ

SD: but to give her away coulɖ be letting her into ɖanger anɖ for everything §he§ ɖone for me i cant ri§k itϗϗ

TA: theyre threateniing my guardiian 2aph

SD: youre kiɖɖing me why are they ɖoing it ha§ he §poken out again§t them or §omethingϗϗ

TA: ii dont know why ii ju2t know that they are

SD: forgive me TA but how can i believe youϗϗ

TA: how am ii 2uppo2ed two beliieve youre 2aph that you have maroon blood and that you are a hacker?

TA: you could be a hiierarchii2t tryiing two lure me out two 2how me my place or 2omethiing

SD: how ɖare you even §ay §omething like thatϗϗ

SD: why woulɖ i have bothereɖ becoming your frienɖ the§e la§t two §weep§ϗϗ

TA: my poiint exactly what would ii have gaiined the2e la2t 2weep2 pretendiing two be your friiend

SD: ...ϗϗ

SD: youre po§itive they are a threat to your guarɖianϗϗ

TA: theyll kiill hiim iif ii dont do 2omethiing and iim on p2iioniic 2uppre22or2 becau2e of the biipolar thiing 2o what am ii 2uppo2ed two do two 2ave hiim

SD: fine ill tell you what i know but if you betray me i will §ee you ɖe§troyeɖϗϗ

TA: faiir enough

SD: what ɖo you want to know about the §haɖowϗϗ

TA: iim gue22iing you dont have theiir contact iinformatiion

SD: i have a mean§ to contact her but you cant have itϗϗ

SD: §he wa§ very clear a§ to what woulɖ happen to me if i were to part with the informationϗϗ

TA: then giive me everythiing you feel you can 2o ii can fiind them my2elf

SD: §he wont be ea§y to finɖϗϗ

TA: and ii have no iintentiion of faiiliing

SD: fair enoughϗϗ

SD: i ɖiɖ not learn too much about her to be hone§tϗϗ

SD: §he§ young iɖ put her at about our §pawning or a bit olɖer becau§e the color i§ §tarting to come through §tronger in one of her eye§ϗϗ

TA: only one

SD: yeah anɖ it lookeɖ in the blue§ ɖefinitely ɖarker than teal but it coulɖ be a lighter inɖigo tooϗϗ

SD: the other eye i§ the notable one thoughϗϗ

SD: it ɖiɖnt have one pupil but §even §ix arounɖ a §eventh central one §he alway§ kept that eye on me even if §he wa§ turneɖ mo§tly away from meϗϗ

TA: 2even pupiil2? that 2hould make thiing2 a liittle ea2iier

SD: i know what youre thinking but no it wont unle§§ youre right in front of herϗϗ

SD: i hackeɖ the p§ychic regi§try §hortly after her ɖeparture anɖ §he wa§nt in it there were no troll§ in it with that kinɖ of featureϗϗ

TA: oh well that ii2 one avenue gone

SD: §he wore her hair long but that coulɖ have been a wigϗϗ

SD: other than that the mo§t notable feature wa§ her horn§ §he haɖ one that wa§ forkeɖ at the enɖ anɖ one that wa§ more like a hook or a barbϗϗ

TA: that2 everythiing ju2t a de2criiptiion?

SD: of cour§e not there i§ one other thing when §he came to help me it wa§ with a bu§ine§§ offerϗϗ

SD: a commi§§ion to upgraɖe the information proce§§ing §y§tem§ in a manufacturing plant §he run§ anɖ no i wont tell you which one i §wore not to §peak of itϗϗ

TA: a blue runniing a factory wiith mii2matched horn2 and a 2trange eye

SD: §he arrangeɖ our meeting in a high enɖ fooɖ §ervice location in the capital cityϗϗ

SD: §he wa§ very familiar with the menu anɖ before the §ervicetroll coulɖ greet u§ §he cut him off anɖ orɖereɖ her u§ual mealϗϗ

SD: §he ha§ to be enough of a regular for that to help you out §omehowϗϗ

TA: and the re2taurant?

SD: Vekila'§ϗϗ

TA: my guardiian ii2 headiing for the capiital iin a few week2

TA: iill 2tart my 2earch there but iif you remember anythiing el2e tell me?

SD: gooɖ luck TA i hope you finɖ what you neeɖϗϗ

TA: ii wiill there ii2 no other optiion


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: Another day, another chapter. Aren't you proud of me boys and girls?

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 5

"Son, are you alright?"

All Sollux could do was look down at his plate, pushing around his food with his fork. A part of him wanted to eat, was highly tempted by the overwhelming scent of honey treenut cluckbeast, but another was just consumed by all the planning he needed to do. How was he supposed to get to the capital and find the blue blooded, mutant eyed female that could save Cyclos? What was the point of a meal until he figured that key point out?

"Sollux, are you even listening to me?"

How much time would he even need to be there anyway? What if this shadow didn't really frequent the restaurant as Sapphiric had concluded? What if she was and it took weeks to find her? How was he supposed to approach her, get the message to her, get her to help him? Could he? What if Sapphiric had really just lost a part of her pan and...

"Sollux you will answer me or I will ground you off of that damn husktop of yours for anything other than work."

That snapped his head up from the food on his plate, staring right across the small table in the food preparation block to look at his guardian. To say that Cyclos looked unhappy would have been the utmost kind of understatement. Had Cyclos been hatched with psionics like Sollux had, the air around his horns would have been crackling wildly with his own psionic power colors. As it was he was fuming, his brilliant gold eyes flashing with fury.

"Sorry, I had my pan wrapped around a problem that came up at work..."

"Why don't you share it with me? Obviously you aren't managing to figure it out on your own," Cyclos said, gesturing with his fork at Sollux's plate. "Isn't honey treenut cluckbeast your favorite?"

"Always," Sollux agreed, still pushing his food around.

"Except you've never been the kind of troll who could put aside a problem for a meal. My boy, where did I raise you wrong?"

"No where," Sollux sighed, pushing the plate away from himself.

"Which is hard to believe, with your behavior this morning. Did I not teach you to share your problems? Sometimes a fresh set of eyes is necessary to solve a problem."

"This isn't the kind I can share," Sollux sighed, shaking his head.

"Work then?" Cyclos just shook his head at that. "If there was ever something that I didn't know how to handle, it was the kind of work you're involved in. Computational devices were never a specialty of mine."

"Hardly surprising," he couldn't help but laugh, "I've had to fix your husktop enough to be sure of that. Still, it's a work thing, so I really can't talk about it. Privacy protocols and all that."

There Cyclos nodded in understanding. If there was one thing Sollux was sure of, it was that his guardian knew about privacy. More than once he'd seen the rather large stack of privacy contracts that Cyclos and his crews had to work with, the secrets he had to agree to in the production of his movies. It meant that claiming non-disclosure was more than enough to get his guardian off of his back. It was even a damn good ploy for his moirail, what with her respect for the law as a legisticator.

"Well, then maybe I can at least distract you long enough to let another part of your pan process the problem for you. Come, eat your dinner. I had some good news during my meeting tonight..."

"With the prospective producers?" Sollux asked, finally loading his fork with some of the meal. It would be wrong to let this go to waste after Cyclos worked so hard to prepare it, especially since it was his favorite meal. Way better than living off of cheese sticks, starch-based oil-fried slices flavored with vinegar and salt, and the occasional order of dough-with-sauce-and-grub pie.

"Indeed. It seems that I've been given the go on filming."

"Wonderful," Sollux said, forcing as much fake sincerity as possible into his voice. Cyclos filming meant traveling meant him being out of the range where Sollux could protect him. A perigee of casting, more of practice and sets and props and costumes, then perigees of filming. "It's been almost half a sweep since you've been behind the lens."

"Fourteen perigees, five weeks and three days, to give a nice estimate," Cyclos laughed. "But, of course, it means my traveling again. I know you don't like it when I'm gone..."

"You always offer to take me with you, but we both know I'm bound to my systems for work."

"Yes, but I always do offer. So I'm going to once more. Come with me and take some time off of your work. Let me show you the world outside of this small town I've settled into. There are so many things to see. Entire hives dedicated to the finest arts troll hands can create. Giant repositories of knowledge. Restaurants, shopping, anything and everything you could wish. I could even arrange that we dine with the Empress and Heiress. They have been inviting me to visit for sweeps, the Heiress is a fan of my..."

"Empress?" Sollux found himself asking, refilled fork halfway to his mouth. He'd been trying to eat, but that word had set off countless alarms in his head. The Empress and Heiress lived in the capital. The shadow frequented the capital. Cyclos was going to the capital...

"Yes. Gyliea has extended me a personal invitation to join her for a meal."

"The Empress lives in the captial," Sollux found himself observing rather stupidly.

"Yes," Cyclos laughed, "that would be a rather true statement."

"I'm going with you," Sollux announced, putting his fork down. "Maybe not for long, but I want to see the capital. Take me with you."

"Done."

* * *

In the end Sollum managed to get his meal down, his appetite restored as he discussed the pending trip to the capital. Now though, back in his hive, Sollux wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. The most obvious thing was his slab, the crimson and azure slab dressings inviting to his eyes. And repulsive to his pan. He didn't have to close his eyes to know just what he'd find in the world of his dreams. Cyclos's voice calling him, pleading, drawing Sollux to spend his unwaking hours sitting at the base of his not-stone form, trying to block out his voice and at the same time trying to pinpoint whether it was getting louder or not. There'd be no rest, no relaxation, no planning like he should have had any other sleep cycle. All he could do was suffer.

No, there would be no rest this morning, not until he was too exhausted to think while he was caught up in his dreams. Something else had to be done. Which left one thing.

The flashing lights of his system called to him. After all, there was plenty of things that needed done if he was to pull this off. For one thing he had to find an excuse to get away from work for a while. Waleti wasn't going to accept the idea of him running off for a few weeks for the sake of sight seeing with his guardian. Especially not when he wouldn't be able to take the work with him. Sure, he'd outfitted his husktop to do some serious stuff, but it could never achieve the kind of things he could do with his apiculture mainframes. No, he'd have to come up with something that Waleti could support. Of course she'd see through it, see to the core of the matter, but that didn't matter if he at least had something superficial.

Luckily the capital was a big place, it shouldn't be too hard to find something around the right time to give him an excuse to be out there. With a sigh he moved to boot up his system, reaching for his thermal hull so he could at least enjoy a sweet drink to calm his rampaging mind.

Not that the drink got far. By the time he was through with it he had gotten the computer up and running, booked tickets to a apiculture convention complete with the reveals on the new breeding schema for a more efficient line of worker drones. He wasn't likely to use it, though. His bees had never let him down before, so forcing them into a new behavior pattern was wrong. They weren't treating him wrong and he wasn't going to treat them wrong either.

Unfortunately it hadn't taken too long to achieve that. It hadn't taken even an hour to get it all done, which meant that he had far too much time left to try to avoid sleeping. There weren't many ways left to fill the night, so he turned to one of the more fruitless things he could try. There were few things like turning his pan to a nearly unsolvable problem to keep it up all day.

Writing code was a hobby that Sollux never got over indulging in. He'd started simple when he was young, making text based adventure games for himself and some of the other young trolls at his schoolfeed institution. After that he'd moved on to more complex programs used to scour the net for relevant information for projects and reports. Later he'd turned his hand to cryptology, both creating and breaking high end encryptions just for the sake of it. After a sunny season spent taking classes at an Enforcer academy in one of the inland training hives—and meeting Terezi who had come out for a special class on melding the role of Detectors to Legisticators—he turned his attention to creating response programs that allowed Terezi to test her interoxamination methods. Not that any of that stood up to some of the things he did for the Enforcers. Sure, they were fun, but that wasn't enough.

And it didn't compare to what Sollux set to putting together now. For this he needed all of his bees, and so he set them to waking slowly with a gentle prod from his psionics. Once they had worked themselves up a buzz he started into the code he'd need. Accounting for a range of factors to let him search the web as effectively as possible for the few traits he'd been given. Setting up programs to search horn shapes to try and pick out the right styles in any kind of image. Scrounging to find some way to get any kind of hints about the eye clue...

Hours spent pushing the bees to their limits, working the code every way that he could manage to get the smallest bits of information that might bring him closer to this shadow. Hours and all he had for it was almost a gigamite of materials to search through. So much, and no guarantee that this was going to work out. Grabbing a set of new cans of drink from his thermal hull he started through the data, knowing that no matter how good his programs were, a pan was going to be the tool he needed to break this down.

The bits and pieces started to blend into one another too quickly to believe, and none of them were important. A cerulean here with a horn that could possibly be one of the ones Saph had mentioned just barely visible in the corner of someone's trollbook profile picture. A report on potential origins of odd eye mutations and how they affect the lives of those who exhibit them. An indigo who had recently sold their mining rights to move into fisheries instead. The picture of a young troll from behind who was one of three wards involved in a custody dispute that had resulted in two of the wards being given adult rights and the third being placed under the care of their matesprit's guardian.

It was as he started into this article, the thousandth out of so many he'd been through already, that his body finally gave in despite his pan's protests. He woke, almost seamlessly, into the familiar and pained landscape of his dreams. Well, maybe woke wasn't the right word. Never had been. With a sigh he stretched, reveling in the pleasure his pan told him the motion should give him, even if it didn't really do so. The stretching was how he started his sleep-cycles, just as he did when his body awoke. Almost felt like he was freeing his pan from the burdens of the flesh, leaving it free to ponder only the problems he set before it. And the problem he set before it now was...

Why was it so quiet? Sollux all but leapt to his feet as the silence around him registered in his pan. There was never silence here. The closest thing he got to it were those rare times when the voices of the dead were not so insistent, when their deaths weren't so immanent. And even then he was always able to hear the voice of Cyclos. It was something his pan latched onto the moment he awoke. It was how he'd known there was a change. It was the reason he was doing all that he was. How could he not hear it now when he had 'awoken' in the shadow his his guardian's...

When he turned to look into the face of the troll whose form he had become conscious under he was shocked at what he found. Not the familiar, welcoming, now pained face of his guardian. No, the image he met instead was that of a female troll, about his own age. Her hair was long and flowing back from her face as if caught in some phantom puff of wind. Her eyes met his, defiant, strong, cold even. Well, her eye actually. Only one of them was visible. The other was covered, half by some of her hair, the other half by a piece of cloth held in place with a string. Something in him said that behind that cloth he'd find what Saph had hinted at: an eye with seven pupils. The more he looked at her, the more certain he was of the fact. After all, didn't the troll bear two mismatched horns, one which was forked and the other more like a barb. This, then, was the shadow he was looking for, right?

For all that he couldn't be sure of it, Sollux still spent a while there, looking into the face of the troll, committing it to memory. This one he'd have to remember completely on his own, no chance to go to a drawtist for help. That would just get this troll into Waleti's attention, and Sollux wasn't fully sure he wanted to do that yet. The only thing he could rely on now was his memory. Even going to Terezi wouldn't work, she didn't spend as much time on her art and she asked questions he wasn't prepared to answer. At last, when Sollux was certain he would remember that face no matter where he found it, he turned away from the troll he had no name for, and turned his attention on the more unnerving situation of his dream state: the silence.

The silence still filled the air, surrounding him in a bubble that almost made him feel off balance. As if one of his senses had been torn away from him, and since it was one of so few he had here, it was more painful for its loss. Yet as he strode away from the form of the mysterious troll, he couldn't help but notice that the voices grew louder. When he moved back toward her the silence returned. There was no explaining it, but there it was: something about this troll calmed the others around her. And Sollux didn't doubt it was this troll that was doing it. When he glanced around at the other assembled trolls, their eyes all seemed to be on her. It was a kind of thing he'd never seen before in the whole of his dreamscape, and what it meant was something he couldn't begin to fathom.

"Who are you?" Sollux couldn't help but ask.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Notes: So, after last chapter what can I throw at you all? Should I shake the foundations of your minds? No? Okay, I'll save that for later. And yes, this chapter does start with a bit of a recap of part of the end of An Unscratched Surface. Also, in case you weren't sure, yes, Sollux's story is going to have plenty of trollian logs. He needs them.

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Part 6

Vriska Serket. That was the name of the young cerulean associated with the case in the article he'd been reading when he'd gone to sleep. According to the story she was one of three wards taken in by an older cerulean named Spided Ryicos, and clearly the favored. The case had been regarding the wardship of his youngest, a crimson red blooded troll about Sollux's own age whose guidance adjustor had aimed to take the youth into his care to better see him ahead in life. Everything had been pointing towards a long, difficult case until this Vriska had agreed with one Gamzee Makara's accusations, and even prompted her fellow ward, one olive Remium Olisar to speak up against the abuses of their guardian. There were whispers that part of the problem had been that Ryicos was a hemohierarchist who was using a 'beast' for work.

A motive for working to help take down the hierarchists? Sollux couldn't be sure, but he had to think it was something. If her guardian had been a hierarchist there was no doubt he would have tried to raise her in such a way. Why turn on him, though? Had she seen through his claims that short lived trolls were worth less than longer? Or was she just having some kind of revenge against him?

There was one source of information that he could tap on this. He remembered that case, about a sweep ago. Back then he had just been getting really close to his moirail, and she had been bound up in what was going on. She'd been talking for perigees about the crimson she was sort of flushed for, who always seemed angry, who she couldn't go after because she'd promised this olive named Nepeta that she wouldn't. But things had gotten complicated when a new guidance adjustor trainee had come in and clearly felt strongly about the red. Things had gotten complicated, the trainee had asked Terezi for help with something and... Well, Sollux had gotten confused about everything that was happening so he'd tried to soften her pain and not get too confused with everything.

Unfortunately Terezi wasn't quite awake right now. From the time that his system was flashing Terezi wasn't likely to be awake for a while yet. Which meant he had to find some other way to pass the time and find some information out about Vriska. Which meant a new, more directed search. Not that he wasn't going to let his previous one keep running, added to his mound of potential shadows. But something in his pan, something in his dreams, said this Vriska was the troll he was looking for. Another search, built up less strenuously than the first, aiming for her name, for her former guardian's name, for the names of her ward mates to try and figure out just who this Vriska Serket was.

It was only as the third resource was returned from the search that he noticed something was wrong. That there were odd turns of phrases in an article about her coming to control a production facility that had been managed by her former guardian. Words that didn't quite suit the writing of the rest of the article. Another page, the one for the production facility, contained a history of the company that completely ignored the existence of its previous owner. Page after page containing odd things that weren't quite right, that didn't fit, like pieces of a puzzle.

And when he pushed closer, past the surface and into the code, Sollux saw why it was so wrong. He wasn't the first code slinger that had been over these pages. Not the first by far. There were traces of at least two others that were far worse at this than he was, and a third that Sollux had trouble even proving existed.

Who was this Vriska Serket that she could so easily find not one, but three hackers to try and cover her tracks? Were they thankful trolls that she had helped in her role as the rumored shadow? Ones that had repaid her in whatever kinds of ways they could manage. If so then she was getting something out of this, though possibly not as much as she was giving. After all, if what Saph said was true, if she was trying to help other trolls and used her company to do it, then she could be spilling money out everywhere.

Or was she? Saph had helped the shadow with upgrading processing systems, which would not only pay out for Saph but would possibly improve the production of her facility. Helping hierarchist abused trolls could actually be helping her get the money she needed to support and improve her business, not to mention the loose funds to help other trolls. It was almost genius, if one thought about it. How was she avoiding the suspicion of the hierarchists though? Surely if her guardian had been a hierarchist then there would have been repercussions for destroyed him in favor of helping 'lowbloods.' If this Vriska was truly his only hope then he could only hope that the system she had arranged for herself didn't require a careful balance. Hopefully his appearance and plea for help wouldn't send everything tumbling down.

Either way Sollux opted to stop his prowling through the code, shutting down all of his searches. If this Vriska was really his goal, if she had other hackers who were watching out for her, setting off any alarms they had up would be a disaster. Not that he couldn't shut them down if he wanted to, he was far too good to be stopped, but that didn't mean he wanted noticed. Stopping alarms took time, and time meant he could be noticed. And when you were hunting a shadow, you didn't want to be seen. Shadows disappeared, after all, when you shone light on them.

* * *

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling orderAscendant [OA]

TA: good eveniing captaiin

OA: Cϕmtrϕll Captϕr. Tϕ what dϕ I ϕwe this exchange?

TA: fiir2t ii kiind of wanted two apologiize for my behaviior la2t niight

OA: I dϕ nϕt believe that is necessary given the situatiϕn.

OA: Yϕur desire tϕ prϕtect yϕur guardian is laudable and shϕuld be encϕuraged. Rarely in ϕur sϕciety dϕ individuals realize the value ϕf their guardians until it is tϕϕ late.

OA: Sϕ please dϕ nϕt feel it necessary tϕ apϕlϕgize. I just ask that yϕu understand my inability tϕ achieve what yϕu desired regarding the situatiϕn.

TA: thank2... ii thiink

OA: Ϙf cϕurse. Nϕw there is ϕbviϕusly mϕre yϕu desire tϕ speak ϕf. Please cϕntinue.

TA: well you 2hould know that accordiing two my contract wiith the department iim bound two attend at lea2t one conference or other gatheriing aiimed at iimproviing my abiiliitiie2 every 2weep

TA: there ii2 a rather iintere2tiing conventiion coveriing iimproved computatiional 2tyle2 comiing up later thii2 periigee iin the capiital whiich ii wii2h two attend

TA: iintended dii2cu22iion topiic2 iinclude handliing the late2t iin antiiviiru2 2oft2 new bee breediing method2 for hiighly organiized output and a dii2cu22iion panel on the value2 of a variiety of diifferent techniical appliicatiion2 for legii2tiicator and enforcer purpo2e2 whiich ii2 two be guiided iin part by legiirule made2ii

OA: I see. And this trip ϕf yϕurs has nϕthing tϕ dϕ with the rumϕrs that yϕur guardian is bϕund fϕr the Capital fϕr the prϕductiϕn ϕf a new mϕvie?

TA: how do you know about the new fiilm? captaiin waletii could iit be that youre a romcom fan?

OA: I dϕ nϕt see hϕw that is relevent tϕ this cϕnversatiϕn, Sϕllux.

TA: oh iit ii2nt unle22 you thiink about the fact that the only word about the new fiilm ii2 an unconfiirmed rumor on one of the fan 2iite2

OA: I... Find it highly valuable tϕ keep myself abreast ϕf the situatiϕns in which my trϕlls are invϕlved.

TA: rejhan3keiiffa or rejhan3niiyeso?

OA: What?

TA: rejhan3keiiffa or rejhan3niiyeso? whiich ii2 your favoriite?

OA: This strikes me as a rather inapprϕpriate cϕnversatiϕn between a superiϕr and their subϕrdinate.

TA: the fan2 alway2 get up iin arm2 about that one fiilm ii cant even under2tand why ii mean what doe2 iit even matter that rejhan diidnt choo2e niiye2o iit obviiou2ly would have been an iimbalanced relatiion2hiip

OA: Nϕ. Yϕu just dϕ nϕt get it. Rejhan's feelings fϕr Keiffa are based ϕn the lie ϕf their sharing the interest in fashiϕn. Sure there is the implicatiϕn that Keiffa is starting tϕ get intϕ it after a while but clearly Niyesϕ already shared the lϕve as well as flushed affectiϕns fϕr Rejhan. They meld tϕgether sϕ perfectly. Why cϕuld yϕur guardian nϕt see that?

TA: ii wii2h you could 2ee how hard iim laughiing riight now waletii

TA: ii mean really could you not 2ee ju2t how ea2iily you were goiing two fall iintwo that trap?

TA: the mo2t hotly conte2ted endiing of any of the fiilm2 cyclo2 ha2 made and fiive 2weep2 later troll2 are 2tiill debatiing the end

TA: ii bet iif hed known ju2t how rabiid the 2hiipper2 were goiing two go over that fiilm he would have let 2omeone el2e do iit

OA: Alright, Sϕllux. I cϕncede that yϕu are cϕrrect and I am fϕnd ϕf the wϕrks ϕf yϕur guardian. That aside I dϕ find yϕur desire tϕ travel tϕ the Capital just as he is likely tϕ be gϕing tϕ be rather interesting timing.

TA: iill do whatever ii have two 2o that ii can keep hiim 2afe you know that waletii

OA: Sϕllux, yϕu shϕuldn't dϕ this.

OA: Yϕu cannϕt prϕtect him just because yϕu want tϕ. If there is prϕϕf that sϕme trϕlls want tϕ dϕ him harm then the Enfϕrcers can dϕ sϕmething abϕut this.

OA: Let this gϕ, Sϕllux. Ϙtherwise yϕu cϕuld be hurt.

TA: iid liike two 2ee anyone try captaiin a good p2iioniic cant be beat by a brawler no matter theiir blood color or beliief2

OA: And yϕu are nϕt trained in cϕmbat with yϕur psiϕnics.

TA: wiill overcome2 when there ii2 need

OA: Sϕllux... I see I will nϕt be able tϕ dϕ anything tϕ dissuade yϕu frϕm yϕur plans. Yϕu are cϕmpletely cϕrrect abϕut the stipulatiϕns in yϕur cϕntract and fϕr ϕnce I wish yϕu were nϕt.

OA: Yϕu will, I suppϕse, dϕ what yϕu believe is best in the end. All I ask is that yϕu take care ϕf yϕurself. I dϕ nϕt wish tϕ see yϕu harmed.

OA: Dϕ nϕt get intϕ any sϕrt ϕf trϕuble that I cannϕt pull yϕu ϕut ϕf. My influence in the Capital is nϕt the strϕngest, but it is enϕugh fϕr me tϕ help yϕu if sϕmething gϕes wrϕng.

OA: And Sϕllux... Take care ϕf yϕurself as well as yϕu dϕ yϕur guardian. This divisiϕn cannϕt handle the lϕss ϕf yϕu.

TA: of cour2e maam

TA: ii have no iintentiion of lettiing thiing2 go wrong ju2t count on that

OA: Things will always gϕ wrϕng, Captϕr. That is what wϕrries me.

orderAscendant [OA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

Sollux spent the next hour trying to figure out just what Waleti meant when she told him to take care of himself. Was it really the department she was concerned for, or just him?


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Notes: Long chapter is long. Yeah, so you know this is a quadrant chapter. A pale chapter. After all, Sollux is a good moirail. He's got a great pale quadrant. Everything is great for them. And it will always be. For ever. I promise.

Disclaimer: I don't promise.

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 7

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

GC: W3LL W3LL W3LL 1F 1T 1SNT MY F4VOR1T3 COMTROLL ON TH3 WHOL3 OF B3FORUS! WH4T 4 SURPR1S3 TO S33 YOU H3R3

TA: of cour2e you 2ee me here iim alway2 here tz

TA: my work requiire2 me two be plugged iin nearly all of the tiime

GC: SOLLUX L3TS NOT PR3T3ND TH4T YOUR3 ST1LL ONL1N3 B3C4US3 OF TH4T YOUR3 4BOUT 4S 4DD1CT3D TO YOUR CONN3CT1ON 4S 1 4M TO R3D B3RRY P13S

GC: YOU 4R3 QU1T3 LUCKY TH4T TH3R3 1S NOTH1NG ON TH3 BOOKS R3G4RD1NG OV3RUS3 OR 4BUS3 OF TH3 R3SOURC3S OF TH3 SYST3M OTH3RW1S3 1 M1GHT B3 FORC3D TO R3PORT YOU

TA: you wouldnt report me tz youd ju2t claiim pale priiviilege and wed get off wiith barely even a repriimand

GC: HMMM Y3S YOU DO H4V3 M3 TH3R3 4ND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH 1 H4T3 1T WH3N YOU QUOT3 PROP3R ST4TUT3S 4T M3

GC: 4ND BY H4T3 1 OF COURS3 M34N P1TY B3YOND 4NY R34L R34SON4BL3 PROPR13TY

TA: yeah yeah ii know youd even help me hiide the bodiie2 iif there were any

TA: you 2ay that all the tiime

GC: WO4H LOOKS L1K3 SOM3ON3 WOK3 UP ON TH3 TOT4LLY WRONG S1D3 OF TH3 SL4B TH1S 3V3N1NG

GC: 4ND BY WRONG S1D3 1 M34N ON TOP OF 4ND BY SL4B 1 M34N K3YBO4RD

TA: ii diidnt 2leep at my de2k thii2 morniing

GC: OBJ3CT1ON! TH3 D3F3ND4NT 1S OBV1OUSLY PR3S3NT1NG F4LS3 T3ST1MONY B3FOR3 TH3 COURT

TA: thii2 ii2nt a court tz. iit2 never a court wiill you ju2t lay off on that 2hiit? iit2 fuckiing annoyiing

GC: OH MY 1T S33MS W3 H4V3 4 B1T OF 4 PROBL3M H3R3

TA: ii have no clue what you mean

GC: SOLLUX YOUV3 B33N COMB4T1V3 THROUGH TH1S 3NT1R3 CONV3RS4T1ON 4ND 1 MUST S4Y TH4T 1 4M NOT 1MPR3SS3D

GC: YOU D1DNT T4K3 YOUR M3D1C4T1ONS TOD4Y D1D YOU?

TA: what are you my thiinkrapii2t?

GC: NO B3C4US3 1F 1 W4S TH3N YOU WOULD H4V3 H4D YOUR P1LLS TH1S 3V3N1NG 3V3N 1F 1 H4D B33N FORC3D TO SHOV3 TH3M DOWN YOUR THRO4T

TA: that ii2nt how thiinkrapii2t2 work

GC: 1 WOULD DO 1T POL1T3LY G33Z

TA: iim pretty 2ure there ii2nt a way two 2hove piill2 down 2omeone2 gullet poliitely

GC: 1 SUCC33D 4T 3V3RYTH1NG 1 PUT MY M1ND TO

TA: not everythiing

GC: TH4T 1S 1T SOLLUX 1 4M NOT T4K1NG TH1S FROM YOU 4NY MOR3 1 D3M4ND YOU STOP TRY1NG TO 4VO1D T4LK1NG TO M3 4ND YOU PLOP YOUR BONY S1T M34T DOWN ON 4 P1L3 4ND 4CTU4LLY T4LK TO M3

TA: 1) we are talkiing 2) my 2iit meat ii2 not bony

GC: 4LL OF YOU 1S BONY SOLLUX M4K3S YOU T3RR1BL3 1N 4 P1L3

TA: 2ay2 the troll that ii2 liiterally all 2harp corner2 and 2harper horn2

GC: NOT TH1S 4G41N 1 OBJ3CT! YOU 4BSOLV3D M3 OF 4NY WRONG DO1NG 1N TH3 S1TU4T1ON TO WH1CH YOU 4R3 4LLUD1NG

TA: your horn2 2cratched my favoriite 2hade2 up

GC: TH3 D3F3NS3 HOLDS TH4T NO L4ST1NG D4M4G3 W4S DON3 TO YOUR P3RSON 4ND TH4T YOU W3R3 4LSO R3SPONS1BL3 FOR S3V3R4L BRU1S3S ON MY P3RSON TH4T N1GHT

TA: we were really 2hiitty piiler2 then werent we?

GC: 4LL TH1NGS COM3 W1TH T1M3 4ND PR4CT1C3 SOLLUX

TA: a2 iif ii dont know that my2elf

GC: 4ND W3 W1LL N3V3R B3COM3 TRULY GOOD 4T B31NG MO1R41LS 1F YOU R3FUS3 TO SP3ND P1L3 T1M3 W1TH M3

TA: becau2e iit really count2 a2 piiliing when were half a planet apart only talkiing through trolliian

GC: SOLLUX 1 ONC3 4G41N D3M4ND TH4T YOU 4PP34S3 BOTH OF OUR N33DS FOR P4L3 T1M3 YOU G3T TO YOUR P1L3!

TA: iim not cliimbiing ontwo that 2harp cornered thiing for your 2iilly iin2ii2tence that we can only do thii2 properly iif were on actual piile2

GC: SOLLUX PL34S3 YOU N33D TH1S 1T 1S SO CL34R TH4T TH3 B3ST TH1NG FOR 31TH3R OF US 1N TH1S S1TU4T1ON 1S TO R34LLY T4LK YOU KNOW WH4T W3 N33D SOLLUX YOU KNOW 1T PL34S3

User twinArmageddons has gone idle.

GC: SOLLUX...

User twinArmageddons has gone idle.

GC: 1 4M NOT GO1NG TO ST4ND 4ROUND W41T1NG FOR YOU FOR3V3R

TA: 2et up the audiio vii2ual 2y2tem ii taught you how two u2e

TA: iill 2tart the connectiion once iive got everythiing 2et up on my 2iide

GC: P3RF3CT!

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

GC:

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

There was never any real point with arguing with Terezi. Sollux had learned that multiple times over the two years they had sat in this quadrant. When she wanted something, she pushed until she got it, especially when it was for his benefit. Which it usually was. Sure, sometimes all she wanted was to discuss the finer points of a case, but she always thanked him when he gave her a perspective that she hadn't previously had. But when it came down to it, Terezi was a good moirail, and even when he was in as bad of a mood as he was—and it wasn't because he was off of his medication—he knew it was best to let her have her way. So, with a sigh and a rolling of his eyes, he grabbed his spare husktop out of its place in his desk, grabbed the few cords he'd need to get the connection set up stable enough to handle the data load this always put on the old thing, and shuffled his way over to the 'pile' in the corner of his room.

It wasn't much of a pile in the traditional sense of things. Most trolls made theirs out of comfortable things. Blankets, pillows, stuffed toys, clothes they had grown out of, and other things along those lines. Sollux, though, wasn't the kind of troll who kept a pile ready in his room. All he had was a mound of old, broken down parts for his husktops, computer, and apiculture systems. It wasn't comfortable, it wasn't attractive, it wasn't even a real pile by any measure. Still, it was something. Not that he was going to use it how it was right now. After setting the husktop to the side and starting it into the process that would set up a secure line for the connection, Sollux moved to his slab, pulled off the warmth clothing from the top, and settled it on top of the pile for some semblance of comfort. Then he added one last touch: a solid white scalemate with red buttons for eyes that Terezi had named Pyrali after her guardian and had given him as her first pale gift. It had been an awkward exchange, there on Sollux's last day at the training institution they had met at. A whole dark season spent together—or near enough after Sollux had transferred out of his assigned respite block due to a fight with his block mate—and when Sollux was packed and prepared to leave and never see her again, Terezi had grabbed his hand, kissed him on the forehead, and then forced Pyrali into his arms. The favorite toy of her wigglerhood, given to him freely. All he'd been able to do was stare at her for a while, then reach into his bag to haul out his own wigglerhood toy: a silly looking stuffed buzzbeast that had helped him through the first manifesting of his ability. Without Terezi here in the pile, Pyrali was the best stand in that he could manage.

"So are you going to sit down or not?"

Sollux flinched as Terezi's voice cut into the otherwise silent air of the room. Apparently things had apparently connected a lot faster than he'd wanted to expected.

"Give me a minute here," he grumbled, shuffling over to the pile.

"I'll even be so kind as to give you four and thirteen seconds."

Again Sollux rolled his eyes. He'd never really understood what his moirail had with those numbers, but she'd never really understood his whole duality thing. There were just things that even moirails couldn't wrap their pans around and didn't try to. It was far easier to just accept and support your moirail than to try to get too deeply wrapped up in their neuroses.

"You're so generous," he said, half mocking, as he moved to settle himself down on the pile. Oddly enough, after a bit of shifting and shuffling around it almost felt right to be there, perched atop the mound of electronics. Mostly it was because there were sharp corners everywhere. The edge of a resistor grid pressing hard into his leg felt like the sharpness of the edge of the couch they used to claim at the institution. The pointed tip of a busted invert wire, slightly cushioned by the blanket, felt a bit like Terezi poking him in the back with her carefully sharpened claws. It made him think of Terezi so much that he shifted from sitting to actually lying down on the pile, Pyrali on his chest, a set of old monitors cradling his head as if they were Terezi's bony legs.

"All comfy?"

"It's sharp and uncomfortable, just like you," he teased, before twisting in place to grab his husktop. It gained a position on top of what was likely a few discarded boxes from dough-with-grub-sauce-and-grub pie. There was a moment of tilting and fiddling with his speakers and husktop screen so that it looked like his moirail was looking down on him. So it felt like he was resting his head in her lap, her sharp cornered face staring down at him. If he closed his eyes, just for a moment, it almost felt like he was there, her fingers combing through his hair, rubbing soothingly around the base of his horns to drive off the worst of a psionic pan spasm. Back then, in the institution, she'd been there for him, been supportive of him for all of the fact that he hadn't known how to handle it. Sure, his guardian had always told him that he'd find someone like that, who'd care for him through everything, and all of it had come true in Terezi. Maybe she had been right about this. He needed to be here, now, listening to her soothing, cackling voice, looking up at the slightly fuzzy image of his moirail looking down at him.

Terezi had changed over the years, not that Sollux hadn't himself. Her ever present crimson sunglasses were off, meaning Sollux could see the richness of her teal blood really starting to fill in her eyes. There had only been flecks of the color when they'd met, and now there were barely any flecks of black left. Yet as beautiful as it was, she looked tired. There was a shadow of darker, grayer teal under her eyes, probably part of the reason she wore shades. His eyes were also drawn, rather easily, to a bruise that took up most of the rigth side of her jaw. Clear signs that her black romance was still alive. But beyond that, she looked healthy, looked happy, looked relieved to see him.

"See, now that is the Sollux I was looking to see," Terezi laughed, shaking her head. "Where have you been these last few perigees?"

"At my computer," he countered, shaking his head. "Where else would I be?"

"Sleeping," Terezi countered. "And don't say you have been. You wouldn't even believe the shadows under your eyes. You look like one of your computation systems. Red, blue and yellow."

"What?" Sollux asked, almost sitting up.

"I told you, you haven't been on your medication for a bit."

"I..."

"Don't lie to me, Sollux. This legisticator can smell lies. Plus you're starting to go blue and red around the edges."

"I'm what?"

"Really, you haven't noticed it before? When you aren't on your pills your eyes change."

"Don't pull my leg on this, TZ."

"Remember that week where you ran out of monotrilic at the institution? Before your guardian got you another bottle? Whenever you got mad there were red and blue sparks around your head, and your eyes started to glow those colors. And even when you weren't mad your eyes were slowly going red and blue. It isn't as bad now, but you're just the littlest bit red and blue at the edges. Sollux, you need to get back on your medications."

"I don't want to talk about this, TZ. Please. Can we just talk about something else? Like... What about that bruise of yours?"

The concerned look so plainly written on his moirail's face that even a blind troll could have seen it melted away so quickly that he would have thought it an ice block out in the morning sun. Her concerned frown spread into a viscous, sharp toothed grin, a gleaming, predatory look taking over the whole of her face. It was almost amazing just how well the bruise along her jaw seemed to compliment her grin, almost made it seem all the more cruel. The part of Sollux that had been outraged to see her hurt loved the way it made his moirail look: competent, powerful, and uncompromising.

"I managed to catch the addlepan off guard when he was on his way back from his work. Apparently he doesn't much appreciate it when someone points out that his grin makes him look like he had his pan fried by the noon sun."

Sollux just shook his head, smiling to himself. "So it's going well then? The black romance?"

With that the grin fell, replaced by Terezi shaking her head and sighing. So it was going to be another one of these conversations. They happened a little too often these perigees. Too much of having to see her hurt by the trolls she wanted in her quadrants for his tastes. Terezi deserved better than what she was getting.

"It is too difficult to deal with a troll who is almost always around his moirail or matesprit. When he isn't at work he's either with Karkles or that thinkrapist. How is a troll supposed to get black with their kismesis if they can't get them alone? I'm really close to volunteering for another cycle with the guidance adjustors to steal some..."

"Don't," Sollux cut her off, raising a hand to rub Pyrali's head as he would Terezi's were he there with her. "The worst thing you could do for your black romance is get yourself into a situation like that. You know it won't work out. Workplace pitch romance requires that both parties have a chance to spend time apart, you know that. Otherwise you'll spend too much time attacking each other, letting your rivalry get in the way of your work. It wouldn't just get him fired, but it could get you kicked out of the legistitcation program in your final sweep, or worse, earning you a bad review."

That got a small chuckl from Terezi. "You're right, of course, and you've even got your priorities straight. But that doesn't make it any easier. I mean, how on Beforus am I supposed to show my disdain for this laid back, hopeful attitude he's developed since he's won safety for Karklese? You'd think that he didn't see hard luck cases every day that need his help. The number of warm bloods that pass through the offices that have suggested histories of..."

"I know," Sollux said, shooshing her with a look. "Trust me, I know the statistics in the capital. Or at least the suspected statistics."

"Still keeping to those conspiracy sites of yours?"

"Of course. What else would I do with my day? It's too fucking boring out here to do anything else. Anyway, it's clear that you two need some real time to deal with things. What you need is a hate date."

The grin was back, this time accompanied by a narrowing of eyes that Sollux knew to be the look Terezi got when someone was offering her a particularly fun idea. "Hate date? And how would you suggest I achieve this when he's so commonly around his moirail or matesprit?"

"In the most traditional sense, of course. Abduct him after work."

There was a positive look of hunger in Terezi's eyes then. A longing to do something, though Sollux wasn't sure what. Or that he wanted to know. He had never really understood the black romance between Terezi and her kismesis. Apparently it had formed at first because of both of them being interested in the crimson blood Terezi had grown up with, but it had changed since the kismesis had won the crimson for his flushed quadrant. Since then Terezi had been all over the 'clown' for his far too positive outlook on life, his refusal to dedicate himself to more active attempts to act against the hierarchists that Terezi and Sollux were both certain were trying to come to power in the capital, and for his laid back personality that acted as if everything in the world would set itself to rights on its own. From what Sollux understood the outlook was based, in part, on the fact that the cold blood had some rather serious rage issues, and it always worried him that his moirail was trying to hit that black, trying to draw that fury out of her kismesis. If it wasn't for the fact that he was fully confident in Terezi's ability to take care of herself, he might have been worried.

"Now mister bright eyes, we both know that grabbing a troll and taking them somewhere against their will is a criminal offense."

"Unless they are your confirmed kismesis," Sollux countered, knowing she would appreciate him trotting out the pitch laws. "Then it is perfectly fine for you to abscond with them for a maximum of three cycles at a time, unless they break your quadrant. So do it. Gather information as to when he is working, select a likely location on his path back from work, and grab him. He's got the strength, but you've got the cunning."

"You really think it would work?"

"Just remember to go for the knees," Sollux said. "That will take down pretty much any troll bigger than you."

"Sollux, I'm the one that taught you that. Don't think you've got something to teach the master."

"Except for the things that can't be taught," he agreed, making sure to let just the smallest crack of psionic energy light up around his horns to let her know what he meant.

"Show off," she laughed, shaking her head. "It's not like you use that anyway."

"If I had a cold blood kismesis it would be ideal for keeping my control of any situation."

"Granted," she agreed. "And speaking of your quadrants..."

No, that was not something Sollux was getting into right now. There were more important things. Like this Vriska Serket. He had to know something about her, and he knew from experience that once they got onto the topic of Waleti, Terezi wasn't going to let it go without a kind of fight that Sollux really wasn't in the mood for right now.

"How goes your auspitice?"

That stopped her in her tracks. One of the things Terezi wasn't as comfortable talking about was what had happened with Karkat and Vriska. Problem was that this Karkat used to be something that she talked about all the time. The crimson blood that she was flushed for. Since Vriska's pushing them into the ashen quadrant, though, things had changed. She hadn't talked about the night where Karkat had finally snapped and stepped in to auspitize for them. When he had kept them from devolving into not only pitch, but somewhere beyond that.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"That isn't what moirallegience is about," Sollux pointed out, sighing. "It's about being open, right?"

"Sollux, please."

"Then at leas tell me how things are going with the other part of that quadrant..."

"Fuck Vriska," Terezi snapped. "If it wasn't for Karkat I'd find something to bring her up for before the legisticative councils. Maybe even the Legirule..."

"That seems a bit far," Sollux said, frowning. "What has she done to..."

"She's a hierarchist sympathizer. Have you heard about her production facility? Of course you haven't. She does her best to undermine her employees whenever she can, within the rules. Her plant manager is her and Karkat's former wardmate, Remium Olisar. He has to work unreasonably long hours for far too little pay. The few warm bloods that work for her in drone guidance and maintenance are denied hours long enough for suitable bodily care plans. There are some pretty reasonable rumors that she even only worked against her guardian for the sake of gaining control of his holdings. I can't even understand it. When she was raised in a situation where she couldn't help but see how poorly her wardmates were treated, how could she act like this? I can't even blame Mister Zahhak for going black for her. "

"Zahhak? You mean the Heiress's matesprit?"

"The same. Apparently he's trying to push his matesprit to an investigation of her. Not that it's going over well. The Heiress is fond of the way she stood up and encouraged her wardmates to speak out against their situation at long last..."

That made things more complicated, but Sollux wasn't entirely sure it was a bad sign for him. After all, even Terezi admitted that Vriska had been instrumental for the relief of Karkat and this Remium's oppression. But if she was a hierarchist sympathizer... No, Sollux wasn't sure what to think, but he knew he still had to act.

"Anyway, just stay away from Vriska if you ever come out here for a visit."

"I'll keep that in mind for my coming trip."

"Trip?" Terezi asked, brightening instantly. "You're coming to the capital? Oh Sollux, that's so wonderful! When are you coming? You're going to have to spend at least two days with me, you know that, right? We're going to watch Beforus 5-0, oh and let's not forget Directed Application of Force. We'll also, of course, have all the best meals from the best eateries I know..."

"Sounds like fun," Sollux laughed, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. Terezi just kept plowing on, her eyes wide and her grin beautifully perfect for her face.

" And of course we'll have to go back to our project regarding Directed Application. We left off, what, somewhere in the middle of season 2? I need you here to really appreciate it. I don't know what is reasonable skill for this Harson's code slinging. And I'm sure you don't fully understand the complexities of the fallacies that Soffie and Nithan sling around. I think we've also learned enough now to try discussing systems that could be put into place to foil the team, or maybe get evidence to catch them..."

"We tried that once, Terezi. It was always the same answer relying on active code slingers and smarter, less gullible individuals."

"Now that is a defeatist attitude that I will not accept from you, my golden friend! And it wouldn't be here if you were back on your..."

"TZ, I can't. You need to understand that. I have to do this, I have to be able to protect my guardian. I told you about my dream..."

"Sollux..."

"No, dammit, let me finish. You don't even understand this, TZ. My dreams aren't suggestions, they are warnings. I hear, I see, the future, and though I've told you that, you don't quite accept what it means. They are coming for Cyclos. I don't know who, I just know they are and that I won't let them hurt him. If it takes using my power to protect him, to keep him safe, then I'm going to do it no matter the cost."

"Do you not remember how much those pan spasms hurt you back at the institution? You weren't even using your power much then. Just moments here and there when you needed to. What do you expect is going to happen if you try to turn yourself to stronger uses? You could turn your pan into jelly."

"That isn't how it works," he sighed. "It's like a muscle, Terezi. If I don't use it, it gets weak and hurts when you try to use it again. I have to work at it or I'll be useless when I really need to use it. When his life is going to need it to be there."

"Do you really think I'm not hurt by this hierarchists? These are people who say that my moirail is inferior, that I shouldn't care about you like I do. Can you even believe that? How can you say that I'm not hurt by them when they've hurt Karkles, or if they hurt you? It affects me because it affects Beforus, Sollux. And because of that, because you're so certain that you need this, I'm going to look into the legistication files related to hierarchist group activities or cells in your area or the capital. I can't promise it will help you, but maybe it will give you people to watch out for. For Cyclos's sake as much as for your own."

"Thank you, TZ. It's more than Waleti is..."

"And speaking of," Terezi said, grinning almost lecherously at him, "how is the, in your words, 'breath taking, pusher aching, pan addling beauty' that is your captain?"

"It isn't polite to tease people about their flush crushes," he countered.

"I put up with you on Karkles. I'm more than allowed to push you on this. How is tall, stoic, and indigo?"

Sollux sighed and stared up at the ceiling rather than look at his moirail. Because the problem was that he wanted to talk about it. Wanted to speak about how beautiful she had been in that moment when he'd stood in the office door, her hair falling in her face. Tell her about Waleti's urging him to take care of himself, her promise to try to help... about how he wasn't sure what it meant. About how he thought maybe she cared, maybe if he wasn't a comtroll serving under her. How more than once he thought maybe he should ditch for the private sector in the hopes that he could win her.

"She's beautiful," he breathed out at last, knowing he was going to get into this conversation whether he wanted it or not. And maybe, just maybe, he needed it.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Notes: You'll notice here that we get a good deal more description than there was in the stories before this. That is due, in large part, to the fact that Sollux, unlike the others we've had a PoV characters so far, Sollux isn't from the capital. This is an entirely new world, so to speak, for him.

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 8

The town Sollux had grown up in wasn't all that large. There had always, of course, been the necessities. A food procurement center, the enforcer headquarters, a recreational center, all the basic sorts of shops that would provide a reasonable enjoyment of your sweeps while supporting your working functions. There was even the almost requisite guidance adjustor office hive, though they only had about two assigned to the sector. No, the region that Sollux had grown up in wasn't all that impressive, not that he'd ever really expected it to be. The things that made his town truly unique were Cyclos's hive being so far from the limits of everything else, and the fact that the enforcers unit was so large. A lot of cyber crimes were actually routed through a dinky little server system in the town, necessitating a slightly larger amount of comtrolls than other divisions of the size might have called for.

Long story exceedingly short: Sollux had never seen anything quite like the capital before. Had never had a chance to truly understand just what was possible there that he never would have known back in his home. So there was really no point of comparison for him right now. Nothing to explain something quite like what he could see from up here, staring out of the viewing port of the skyglider and down at the sprawl—he had no other word for it—of the capital below.

The capital was beautiful at night in a way that he couldn't even begin to explain or put into words. That didn't stop him from trying, though. From looking down at the way the city twinkled with orbs of pink light that echoed a more fuzzy mass of green lights that seemed gathered on the surface of the nearby water. The water itself was one of the few things that Sollux wasn't surprised by. The Empress was, after all, ruler of both land and sea, which could only mean that the round, almost bulbous and yet wavy form near the mouth of the rather substantial bay, could only be the Imperial palace. The whole of the form was string, or surrounded, or something, by a wide range of lights, in the different shades of blood, and each in turn seeming slightly different from any other one.

Everything was beautiful. From the skyglider vantage he could see the roads laid out in a flawless grid, the simple and functional forms of production facilities further away from the core which had elegantly shaped hives that could have been anything from shops to homes, there was no way of knowing without being down there. And here and there, bathed in the pink light of both the moon and path lights, were a scattering of vegetative matter stalks that bathed the roads in shade. What he couldn't see was whether or not there were people down there. The skyglider was way too far up for him to catch a glimpse of much more than size, general style, and distribution. That and the few stray hives left that rested rather far from the seemingly usual limits of the capital. Which, now that the skyglider was descending, seemed even larger than possible.

"Do you enjoy the view?" Cyclos asked, leaning over in his seat to peer past Sollux and out of the viewing port.

"It's big."

That earned him a chuckle.

"I remember feeling much the same way when I came to the capital for training when I was your age," Cyclos agreed, placing a hand on Sollux's bony shoulder. "The capital is much different from where we grew up, but different is not bad. We have a pair of weeks for you to learn something of what there is here. I'll try and make the time to show you things you've never seen before."

Which wouldn't be hard, but Sollux wasn't going to point that part out. It was the spirit that counted with his guardian, and he wasn't about to take his poor mood out on Cyclos. Besides, Cyclos was important, keeping him happy was important, keeping him safe was the most important thing there could ever be.

"Just so you are aware," Cyclos said, moving to sit properly in his seat. The way that he was sitting there, suddenly stiff and formal, set off all kinds of alarms in his pan. Alarms normally reserved for other hackers or people who were annoying him online.

"You're not about to tell me that my pet woofbeast was hit by a landcrawler, right?" Sollux asked, hoping to get his guardian to chuckle. There was way too much serious going on in this skyglider, and he wasn't sure he was ready for anything serious.

"You remember when I discussed some of our plans for what we would do when we reached the capital?"

"Yeah," Sollux said, nervous.

"I mentioned an arrangement to dine with the Empress and such..."

No. No this was not something he was going to do now. Not something he was prepared to handle. If the next words that came out of Cyclos's mouth were...

"She has offered us up a meal and residency for the night. As the temporary residency hivestem has yet to have our blocks prepared, I took her up on her offer."

And they were. Wonderful. Why was it that the things he didn't want to hear were invariably the things that he heard?

"You've got to be kidding me," Sollux couldn't help but grumble.

"I know this wasn't..."

"No, this isn't what we agreed to," Sollux growled. "Going to meet the Empress is hard enough as it is without it having to be a surprise. You should have warned me, you should have..."

Done something to let Sollux know it was coming so he could have an excuse to duck out. Maybe Cyclos had anticipated that possibility, had held this back from Sollux to keep him from backing out of the meal. The only thing could make it worse would be for him would for this private little dinner to turn into...

"Should have what? Sollux, you know I only try to do what is best for you, which can be difficult considering the fact that you are prone to trying to dodge my attempts. But in this, you shall listen to me. When we land we will be picked up by a landcrawler that is taking us directly to the imperial palace. There we will be dining with the Empress, her Heiress, and a few select others. Like It or not, you will behave. This is a situation for civility and class. Surely that is a concept you can understand. I expect nothing short of your best behavior. No, I beg nothing short of your best behavior. The Empress is more than just an appreciative fan, she is a friend who has supported my work these last few sweeps. And one of the other guests, Iniatori Seborn, assisted me in the petitioning for the right to take a ward despite my sweeps. These trolls are important to me, and I wish to show them that their faith was not misplaced."

Iniatori Seborn... Why was that title and name so familiar?

"Iniatori Seborn...?" Sollux asked, half prompting. Something in his pan almost itched, annoyed at itself for not remembering what the name referred to. Because a part of him could swear that he knew it before.

"Ah, yes. I forgot that you would know of him due to your moirail. Iniatori Goatad Seborn was involved in that case regarding the crimson blooded youth a sweep ago. The one that I believe you told me your moirail had been flushed for..."

Well that put the whole idea of the dinner into a very different context, didn't it? This Seborn, at the very least, might know something about Vriska if Sollux raised the subject, right? Provided his guardian didn't take up all of this Seborn's time during the meal with other kinds of conversation. And it also depended, in part, on who was going to be there. There was no guarantee that Seborn's presence wouldn't mean the presences of his wards. They might get a bit more suspicious if Sollux was looking into Vriska than an older troll might. Hell, if Sollux made it clear that he was Terezi's moirail he could easily get away with asking after her ashen rival, but doing so in front of said rival's kismesis and auspitice probably wouldn't go over as well.

"That must have been where I'd heard the name from," Sollux agreed. "Well, the name, not the title. What's it mean?"

"Iniatori? It means that Goatad is nearly at the top of the ranks of the guidance adjustors. I hear tell that he could have been a Primator, but has turned down the offer of promotion until such time as his wards are ready to go off on their own."

Sollux nodded attentively, as if he really cared about what his guardian was telling him. In truth, though, he just didn't want to get into what he really wanted out of the dinner. But at least now he wasn't so reluctant to go. If it could bring him closer to the shadow, if it could earn his guardian safety, then he was willing to put up with the worst tortures that a formal dinner could provide.

* * *

It turned out that 'few' wasn't exactly an accurate count of how many had been invited to join them in dining with the Empress. No, it was far better than that. After all, who would want to dine with only three other trolls when one could dine with nine others. The second they'd been escorted into the 'private' dining block Sollux couldn't help but glare at the size of the table, at the ten nutrition plateaus, at the drink receptacles and chairs and all he wanted to do was shout his fury to the skies. Or maybe break a few things with his psionics. He had signed up for Cyclos, the Empress and the Heiress. He was willing to take Seborn. But the other five settings were nothing short of infuriating.

"Sollux? Forgive me, I was not aware of just how many her lady Empress had asked to grace her table tonight. Apparently the chief Enforcer, who also heads up the Empress's personal guard, is a fan of my films and has found the free time this morning to join us."

"Generali Hydrus is going to be here?" Sollux found himself asking. And with the tense question he could feel his legs trembling, screaming for him to flee. This was just the kind of thing Waleti had warned him to avoid: anything that could get him in real trouble. This was a kind of trouble that even Waleti couldn't fix if he fucked up.

"Yes. She is the Empress's moirail after all. Due to that and his moirallegience with the Heiress, her ward Eridan Ampora will also be attending the meal..."

Things just got better and better. Everyone who kept their eyes and ears open around the Enforcers knew that Hydrus was training her ward to follow in her steps sweeps down the road. Those same people also knew that Ampora was not exactly a friend to the Comtroll division. Really, could there be two worse table partners in store for him for the morning?

"Oh, and let us not forget the Heiress's matesprit, young mister Zahhak. But of course one cannot seem to have Zahhak and Ampora together and well behaved without their auspitice, and so Seborn has been asked to bring his ward Makara with him, and since he cannot rightly bring Makara without bringing Vantas... Well, you can see how quickly a well intentioned small meal can spiral out of control for the need of quadrants? Ah, what an amusing idea. Maybe I can see to the addition of a scene where..."

Sollux just sighed as his guardian went off on one of his film tangents. Chances were that he'd be lost in it until someone came over and forcibly shook him out of it. Not that Sollux had any intention of being the one to do it. His guardian always seemed so happy when he went off like this, the way he smiled and then would suddenly start chewing on his lip with one elongated tooth when something particularly difficult needed sorted out. It was in moments like this that Cyclos seemed to be his happiest. Or at least as happy as he had been since his matesprit had died two sweeps ago. Which wasn't much, but it was enough. It was moments like this that kept his guardian going despite everything. Who was Sollux to take them away?

Unfortunately that left him to deal with what was coming next, which was coming all too soon from the sound of a portal creaking open. All Sollux could do was take a deep breath, spin on his heels, and put on the best manners that his guardian had taught him—which were, in Cyclos's defense, flawless.

"Good morning," he greeted as cheerfully as he could feign as a pair of trolls strode through the door. One was monstrously tall—it didn't take much to guess that this was the purple blooded Iniatori Goatad Seborn—the other shorter even than Sollux with nubby horns that he couldn't help but recognize from the news articles he'd seen on the case. So this was Karkat Vantas, the crimson blood that had hurt his moirail, who had set things in motion from all of Sollux's studies over the last few nights. Who could lead him to the secret of the 'shadow,' or maybe already had. But even trying to broach the subject would be disastrous.

"Ah, good morning to you as well young one. And just who might you..."

"Sollux Captor, Cyclos's ward," Sollux offered, carefully only meeting the vividly purple eyes of the too-large troll. "Might I add that he is in one of his moods at the moment. I do not wish to rouse him from it until such point as it is truly necessary."

That earned him a wide, almost dopey, grin from the giant purple. "Yeah, that sounds a bit like good old Cyclos. Probably about to change the plot of his new film already. I imagine the writers won't be happy with him come the evening." Seborn followed that up by a deep, almost infectious laughter. Sollux just smiled and tried his hardest to ignore Vantas, who was looking at him more than just a bit amused.

"I'm hoping I won't have to run interference for him. They always seem to give in at the end, so why do they even bother?"

Faint chuckles, so quiet that Sollux was pretty sure that Seborn hadn't noticed them yet. Just what he needed, another wise troll who decided that the lisp was one of the funniest things they'd ever heard. Under different circumstances he'd teach the fool respect by a liberal application of grabbing him by the back of his oversized gray sweater using his psionics and maybe hanging him from one of the dangling light fixtures. There was a damn good chance, though, that Seborn wouldn't much appreciate it. Plus it likely wouldn't be counted as good behavior, which Cyclos would hold against him. Just what he needed.

"Some trolls just don't know what is best for them," a female voice cut in. It was smooth, commanding, confident, and almost enough to make Sollux snap to attention, even though he didn't mean it.

"You would know that better than most, Tethys," Seborn chuckled, turning back toward the door he'd entered through to greet the troll pair standing there. Sollux hadn't even heard the door open, but it was hardly surprising with how boomingly loud the purple's voice was.

"I keep telling her that it would be better if she just left your giant ass behind like she did all those sweeps ago, but you know how Gyleia is... She doesn't always listen to reason."

"With how hard you've been trying to make her see it all these years I'm a little disappointed. I thought you were better at discipline than that," Seborn teased.

"What would you know of discipline, Iniatori?"

"More than you, Generali. Discovering our paths in life takes a lot of discipline."

It sounded to Sollux like a favorite argument between old friends, and yet he still stood there, utterly riveted, held in place by the force of Hydrus's very presence. She was everything he had heard about, everything he'd seen pictures of, everything that was whispered as rumors in the uniform block of the division HQ. Generali Hydrus was tall, almost enough to rival the height of Seborn, but where he was large she was slender, wiry even. For Sollux she almost called Terezi to mind, but a Terezi that was rounded at the edges rather than sharp, an impression only furthered by the lazy way her horns curved back from her head and ended in a water-like ripple. Instead of the long, flowing hair that Sollux was used to seeing on older trolls—especially colder bloods—her hair was cut shorn short to her head, coming no more than a finger length past her ears. Her face, rounded and almost gentle, but there was a hardness there, a steel that Sollux knew from Waleti. Her eyes, deep and violet, were powerful, attention holding, and he was almost afraid to meet them.

Instead Sollux let his eyes slip aside, coming to rest instead on the smaller form of Hydrus's heir. Eridan Ampora was far from what Sollux had expected. In fact, the violet was only a bit taller than Sollux himself—which wasn't too bad since Sollux knew he was sort of tall for his sweeps—and he looked annoyed to be here at best. Unlike Hydrus, Ampora had opted to attend the meal in his full Enforcer dress blacks, something that made Sollux want to roll his eyes. Everything about the young troll screamed that he took himself too seriously, which meant Sollux wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. From what he understood, though, Ampora would likely be caught up in his pale and ashen quadrants during the meal, so it shouldn't be so bad.

"And who the blazes are you?" Ampora demanded, glaring at Sollux through narrowed eyes. It was in his voice, at least, that Sollux found some comfort from his annoyance. There was just something hilarious about the way that the troll's nasal voice seemed to double his 'w's.

"Eridan, show some proper decorum," the Generali sighed, shaking her head. "What have I told you about addressing others with respect? Especially when they are subordinates."

Sollux couldn't help but stare in shock at Hydrus, and he was pretty sure that his seedflap was hanging open for all to see. How had she known? Was it possible that Cyclos had informed the Empress as to his position? And the Empress had found it interesting enough to pass it on to the Enforcer Generali? No, that didn't make sense. How then did she...

"Oh dear, looks like you've scarred the boy with your words," Seborn laughed. "Don't worry, kid. Tethys scares the hell out of all of the recruits."

"What are you even going on about?" Ampora demanded once more, and this time Sollux actually snickered at the way the 'v' turned into a 'w'. Who couldn't laugh at the word 'ewen?'

"Eridan, this is Sollux Captor of the Comtroll division of unit 612," Hydrus said, smirking a bit at Sollux. "Comtroll Captor, this is my second and ward, Eridan Ampora. And you, of course, already know who I am."

Well if that wasn't a subtle command for all the pomp and circumstance, Sollux wasn't sure what was. Quickly he snapped to full attention, clicking his heels together—it didn't make nearly so impressive of a sound when he was in his plain red and blue canvas shoes—and slapping his fisted left hand against his chest. It was how you greeted a superior, or at least that was what he remembered from the manual. The same salute was expected when faced with the Empress or Heiress, but Sollux had been hoping to avoid it. Trolls tended to get tense around Enforcers, and he got tense around superiors.

"Yes Ma'am," Sollux agreed. "But, if you don't mind my asking..."

"Particularly... gifted young trolls are always brought to my attention," she said, and the weird stress she placed on the word 'gifted' told Sollux all he needed to know. He'd been brought to the attention of the Generali because of his power. Just what he wanted to hear to cheer him up after a night like this.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Notes: Chapters are way longer for this story than I intended. But hopefully you're all okay with that. Because longer chapters means more story, right? At least I think it does. And doesn't that count for something?

* * *

**Doomed to Dream – Part 9**

Sollux didn't have very long to muse upon Hydrus's words as moments later another door opened on the other side of the room and all of the others were suddenly staring past Sollux rather than at him. The way that Hydrus was coming to attention, Seborn was smoothing his thick, almost shaggy hair, and Eridan was switching back and forth rapidly between a furious glare and a gentle smile, could only mean one thing.

He didn't want to turn around. Turning around would mean accepting all of this. Would mean taking in stride the fact that he was now standing in the same room as the Empress and Heiress. It was too much. All of it was too much. Before today, before this last week, the most interesting person he'd ever met face to face—excluding his guardian—had been Waleti. But now, here in this room, there were not one but two fuchsias, the troll that had and would rule for the whole of his life, and the one who would succeed her in time, a new Empress to keep the 'peace' of the world. It was almost amusing—or he was bordering hysterial—to realize that there were trolls on Beforus who would sooner see him dead than in the presence of the Empress and Heiress.

There was little choice, though. He couldn't just stand here and do nothing; couldn't ignore what was going on behind him. Which meant turning around, accepting this, acknowledging the fact that he really was here, thanks to his guardian, and there was no way to take it back. With a deep breath to calm himself, Sollux turned around to face...

Some of the most physically attractive trolls he'd ever seen. At the lead were a pair of cool bloods who were perfect examples of just how different coolbloods could be. One Sollux recognized from his research on the Vantas case, which could only be Gamzee Makara. He was tall enough for a purple with their sweeps, already pushing more than half the height of the monstrous Seborn. He had a bit of the look of seadweller about him, like most purples did, his body more curved than angular like warm bloods. The major advantage that this purple had was that he was tall and lanky, missing a lot of the softer curves and instead standing in such ways that emphasized the curve of his too long legs and arms, not to mention his already impressive set of wavy horns. The most impressive thing about him, though, was how he was dressed. Some designer had put some real attention into this troll's appearance, the way that the rich, shimmering purple of his vest was shot through with black patterns that brought out the paleness of his soft gray shirt. The way that the pants clung to his thin legs emphasized his height. Even the light catching on the bright, crimson and green jewels hanging from one of the purple's pseudo-finned ear seemed to be crafted perfectly to make a troll look at Makara with awe. Sollux had to wonder just who was responsible for the effect, to applaud them for making a troll that Sollux only really saw with disdain because of his moirail look so respectable. Not that Sollux was falling for it. He'd heard too many times from Terezi that those wide, laughing eyes only ever saw the good in the world anymore. That this purple refused to accept the fact that he had to act against hierarchists for the sake of his matesprit if nothing else.

Next to him the indigo that could only be Equius Zahhak was rather plain. Of course plain was a relative term. He wasn't wearing anything fancy like Makara, but Sollux wasn't sure he would be able to without the guided attention of a designer on the level that had clothed Makara used. For one thing his whole body seemed to ripple with muscles under the simple, button-up shirt that seemed to be straining against the muscles. How a brute like that had managed to land the Heiress as their matesprit Sollux wasn't sure. In fact, Sollux was pretty sure if you put Makara and Zahhak side by side anyone would point to Makara as being the matesprit of the Heiress. Still, there was something familiar about Equius. Something in the shape of his jaw, in the reserved way he spoke to the rather animated Makara, the way he seemed in control of himself despite the fact that it seemed like he could break out of his shirt at any moment, it all made him think of Waleti. It made his pusher stop for half as second as he imagined what Waleti would be like here, clad either in dress uniform or something else.

It took all of a moment for the two trolls to move out of the way to allow the real important trolls to enter. They parted, almost like a curtain, to allow Sollux a glimpse of the real, in living technicolor, forms of the Empress and Heiress.

Awe was clearly the desired affect of their appearance: Gyliea and Feferi both wore carefully crafted dresses that hugged their curving bodies and fell about their feet in waves. The color was the precise shade of moonlight on seafoam, though tonight had been the first time Sollux had ever seen that occurrence. Gyliea was the taller of the two by quite a bit, and though she looked far younger than Cyclos, her giant, two pronged horns were large enough to give away her true age, as did the mass of hair that, even coiled into a thick, complicated braid, still trailed along the ground. Still, even with her tiara of gold set with fuchsia gems she was nothing next to her Heiress. Feferi Peixes was almost a vision to Sollux. Her hair fell in soft waves around her face. Her smile was wide and cheerful for all that it was filled with razor sharp teeth. Even the goggles she wore were adorable, for all that they messed up the flow of her outfit. Were it not for Waleti, Sollux was sure he would have lost his pusher, futilely, to the Heiress then and there. But there was something about Waleti, how serious she was, how intent she was on her work, that enamored her to Sollux.

Still, they were here now, and Sollux moved before there was too much chance to think. Waleti had ground respect into him, just like Cyclos had. Though he'd been restrained around Hydrus, it was out that he was a Comtroll and he could see no reason to stop. Instantly Sollux was in motion, coming to attention, slamming his fist with vigor over his pusher, and finishing it out with the full bending over to show his respect. There was a light chuckle at his action, and Sollux held his bow a moment longer than strictly necessary to fight the blush that he knew had risen to his face at the sound.

"Such behavior is not necessary during a private meal, but it is appreciated," someone said, and from the rich, amused, but not quite laughing tone Sollux could only guess that it was Gyliea's.

"Of course," he said, righting himself slowly.

"I hate to push things along too rapidly, but I dislike standing around doing nothing. I feel we would all be more comfortable having our conversations while seated," Gyliea said, pronounced regally, gesturing grandly at the round table that dominated the center of the room.

"Gladly. Besides, we can hardly leave Cyclos alone there. He'll write all over your good table dressing," Hydrus said, chuckling.

There was little Sollux could do but roll his eyes as he saw how right Hydrus was. Apparently Cyclos had taken a place at the table, dug a pen out of some pocket, and was in fact taking notes on a lap hygiene cloth. It was a sight that was far too familiar for Sollux, and part of the reason they weren't welcome at some restaurants in their home town.

"Must he do this every time he comes to dine?" Gyliea asked, shaking her head and sighing. "Can't you do something about it, Goatad?"

"Don't look at me, he isn't my responsibility," Seborn replied, though there was something in his voice that made Sollux wonder whether his guardian had more going on with the large purpleblood than he let on.

"Well, either way I can't let Gyliea get too hungry. We all know she gets a bit grumpy when she's hungry," Hydrus said, her smile wide and teasing.

"Totally," Feferi agreed. "Last evening she skipped breakfast and Gestat dropped in on my management class to reprimand me for letting her out of her respite block without shoving something down her throat."

That earned some laughter from the adults as well as Gamzee, but the other young trolls stayed silent. Sollux figured it was probably best to follow suit. Like the others he stayed quiet as the older trolls led the way to the table, and there was little Sollux could do but watch silently as seats were taken before him. At the only place that could really be called the 'head' of the round table—and that only because it had a slightly more ornate chair—Gyliea sat down, Hydrus quickly taking her left hand side and Seborn taking the right hand where the largest seat was placed between Gyliea and Cyclos. Before Sollux really had a chance to sit beside his guardian the spot was taken by Vantas, who was joined almost immediately by Makara. The Heiress took her seat next, leaving a spot between her and Makara that she immediately pointed Ampora into. Probably for the best as it was almost necessary to keep an auspistice near one member of an ashen rivalry. But that meant Zahhak was next to the Heiress, leaving Sollux in the uncomfortable position of being between Zahhak and Hydrus. Just the meal he was looking forward to.

This, Sollux decided with a sigh, was going to be a less than ideal morning.

* * *

"You seem rather tense, young Captor. Is there anything we can do to make your meal more enjoyable?"

Sollux looked up from the small collection of grubloaf dipping sauces on his plateau and was careful to meet Hydrus's eyes before responding to her whispered comment.

"Forgive me. It isn't exactly a common experience for me."

"Yes, I had read that you are one of the Comtrolls who works from their own hives," Hydrus observed. "I expect that you are not commonly out amid other individuals."

"No Ma'am," Sollux admitted. But the real problem, the one he wouldn't admit to her, was a bit more complicated than that. While he didn't know many of those at the table the ones he wanted to speak to were across the table. Seborn could teach him a lot, and Cyclos... Cyclos's attention was divided almost equally between the massive purpleblood—Sollux was starting to get some real pale vibes from them—and Karkat Vantas. The crimson was all but drooling over Sollux's guardian, asking him questions at every opportunity and looking up at Cyclos like an attention starved barkbeast. Even Sollux could see the annoyance it was clearly causing Makara.

"But that is probably for the best, given your gift," Hydrus continued, even as she took a scoop and placed a dollop of the orange tuber paste that Sollux had most enjoyed for its smoky flavor mixed with a sweet honey edge on his nutrition plateau. "I imagine that it could be traumatic to encounter someone and dream of..."

"It is," he hissed under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear. If there was any topic he didn't like getting into with strangers, it was the topic of his ability.

"Forgive me for what may seem like prying, but yours is one of the more interesting abilities that have ever come across my desk, so to speak. The closest comparable I have for assigning to death threats is one Nosria Damius. A yellow, like yourself, born with the ability to see two minutes into the future."

"Why are you telling me this?" Sollux asked, belatedly adding, "Ma'am."

"We could use trolls like you in a more central location. I'm sure there has been use for your coding talents, as well as your... gift back in Ristart, but I believe there could be more work for you here in Capitol. There is as much need for those who can help us with cyber crimes as there is for someone of your particular talent. I can make it well worth your while to relocate yourself here..."

"No," Sollux answered, quickly and definitively in his opinion. He even made sure she'd understand it wasn't up for discussion by tearing a—reasonably sized—piece off of his grubloaf, dipping it into the orange tuber paste, and started to chew at it so intently that it couldn't be mistaken for anything other than enjoyment.

"Ah, a very certain answer. And unexpected at that. There are advantages to living here. For one thing, you would be closer to your moirail."

Sollux froze, a second dipped piece of grubloaf partway to his mouth. Then, calmly, or at least as calmly as he could manage, he put it down, took the time to carefully wipe his mouth, and then he stared at the troll that was, for all intents and purposes, his boss.

"How do you know about..."

"Legisticators are required to list confirmed moirails for record keeping and thinkrapist reference. It can be a stressful job and they can need additional support. In the uncommon situation where a legisticator and a member of the Enforcer corps, we are notified. It can be a stressful pairing, after all. I am quite surprised that you don't bear a token."

"I wasn't aware that it was anyone's business whether I bore a token or not," Sollux couldn't help but snap. Not loud enough to draw too much attention away from the other conversations around the table, but enough to get Cyclos's eyes to dart over to him, cutting him off from answering some question for Karkat and thus earning Sollux an annoyed look from the crimson as well.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to pry. I shall cease. But if you were to change your mind, the offer will still stand."

With that Tethys turned her attention instead to the Empress, and for the first time Sollux caught sight of a small jewel the same color as the stones set into the Empress and Heiress's tiaras adorning a ring on one of Tethys' fingers. It was a simple thing, a plain gold band set with a single jewel, but the finger it was set upon said more than enough. There was no doubting that it was her moirallegience token, that just under the surface the stone would be etched with the royal sign. Somewhere on her person Gyliea would wear a similar stone, that one closer to Tethys's blood color and cut with her own sign. All around the table Sollux could easily see the tokens that his table partners wore. The Heiress, instead of the traditional rings, wore matched gold fin-rings on the top of her left facial fin that were set with a deep blue and violet stones, each placed where Sollux assumed matesprit and moirail rings were traditionally placed. Equius wore simpler rings of the royal tyrian fuchsia and a more sedate olive green. Eridan bore the royal color as well, and further along the table Seborn was toying with a royal shaded ring on his smallest finger. Beyond that there was Gamzee with the earrings he wore, crimson for his matesprit, jade for his unknown moirail. Even Karkat wore a token in the form of a pin at the collar of his sweater. At least this last one was the least frustrating to Sollux. The pin, unlike a ring, wasn't technically a bond token.

And yet, it was still better than a scalemate.

Sollux glared down at the empty plateau before him. Apparently at some point in his search of the room one of the unobtrusive serving droids had come and swept away his food. Which meant that the real meal would be coming soon, but Sollux wasn't sure that he was looking forward to it anymore. Not with how frustrated he felt.

It wasn't his fault, or Terezi's, that they hadn't exchanged true bond gifts. They'd been so much younger then, so new to the idea of having a moirail. There hadn't been time, funds, assurances that it would work out. So they'd exchanged what had come to hand, with contracts drawn up by Terezi that bound them to returning the items if things didn't work out. Instead of a stone he could wear proudly out in public he had Pyrali. Not that he disliked Pyrali; the scalemate was a good stand-in for his moirail when she couldn't be reached, but it wasn't the same. It didn't have quite the same feeling, meaning, importance as a stone. He couldn't stare into Pyrali's eyes and see Terezi's like he'd be able to with a ring.

"Sollux..."

He was standing. When had that even happened? Sollux wasn't quite sure. All he was really sure of right then was that he was standing there by the table, nine sets of eyes on him, and all of them looking some combination of confused, annoyed, or worried.

"I'm not feeling well," he said, weakly. It was the worst excuse imaginable, utterly unbelievable, and yet it was the only thing he could come up with that could get him away from here.

"Is there..." Gyliea started to ask, only to stop when Cyclos pushed his chair back from the table and stood.

"If you will forgive me, I was worried about such a thing," Cyclos said, smiling worriedly, apologetically, at the group. "Sollux mentioned not feeling well earlier, but I insisted he join us anyway. If you will allow it, I'll see him to whatever blocks have been given us for the morning. Then I will return straight away for the meal."

"Of course," Gyliea said, smiling fondly at Cyclos. "I would expect no less from any other guardian when their ward was ill. Take what time you need, and send the drones for anything you might need. You have been placed in the usual block, and Sollux has been given the one before it in the same hall."

Cyclos bowed slightly and gestured for Sollux to follow him. It wasn't until they were out of the room—until they were out of sight and hearing—that Cyclos stopped and frowned at Sollux.

"Well? What have you to say for yourself?"

All Sollux could do was look his guardian in the eyes and tell the truth.

"I miss Terezi."

Before he could react Cyclos's arms were wrapped around him, his guardian's head buried in his hair.

"Yes. It is in the lack of the ones that we pity that we find the most pain, is it not?"

It was a loaded question. Yet Sollux didn't bother asking just what was meant. He simply closed his eyes and nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Notes: Can you believe how long this story is getting? It's definitely on the road to beating the other two. Hopefully this doesn't turn into too common a thing otherwise the later stories are going to be insanely long.

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 10

One of the few perks there were to his ability was the fact that the dreams didn't linger. They came and clung to him in the daylight hours, but almost like clockwork, when the sun started to set, he always woke. With or without an alarm cricket set he was going to be up before the sun was fully set, every single day. Which meant that by sundown he'd managed a round of ablutions, changed into what nondescript clothing he could find, and packed everything else for delivery to their temporary residency hivestem blocks. Then with only a portable comm and his least impressive husktop with him, Sollux slipped out of the respite block that had been so kindly given over to his use. Cyclos wouldn't be up for hours, and Sollux wasn't going to waste that time. There was the convention that he had to make at least some appearance at, not to mention the search for the shadow, Vriska Serket.

The problem was, for all his preparations, Capitol was far larger than anywhere he'd ever had to deal with before. It only took him twenty minutes to end up completely and utterly lost. With a sigh he sat down at a small caffeinated beverage vendor, ordered himself a drink, and pulled out his husktop to find some new and better directions. Before long he was caffeinated, packed back up, and started his way through the city once more. It took another two hours to get there, meaning by the time he was finally getting all of his credentials sorted out and only just started into the first displays when his comm grub started to screech its unique musical tone.

"Captor," he said once he had the comm in place. "What ya got?"

"Is that really how you answer a call?" Cyclos's voice whispered over the comm.

"Why not? It's not like I've got work tonight. What's up?"

"You weren't around for breakfast this morning."

"I had a nutrition bar," Sollux said, accepting a pamphlet that a spokestroll all but shoved into his hand as he passed a booth on differential electronic analysis strategies.

"Sollux, that..."

"I couldn't stay there," he said, cutting his guardian off. "I just..."

"You were never the kind of troll who could manage larger groups. But that isn't what I'm calling about. Where are you?"

"Convention. Told the Captain I would..."

"And it can wait for tomorrow," Cyclos cut him off. Really, neither of them was the kind of troll to let the other talk when they had something important to say. "I'll be at the meeting block in a few minutes in the crawler. We've got things to do."

"No offense, Cyclos, but I don't quite think I'm in the mood to listen to you arguing with producers for a few hours. I've got some things I wanted to see here."

"Can they wait?"

"Yeah, but did you miss the point where I..."

"This isn't about the film. I've pushed the meetings aside for the day. We've got things to deal with."

"What could be more important than your film and my work?"

"We, boy, are going shopping."

* * *

Shopping, it turned out, didn't have anything to do with what Sollux had expected. He'd thought this would be clothes or souvenirs, or something else frivolous. Maybe, at worst, he was going to be dragged around through some bookstore for reasons he could not fathom.

Nothing prepared him for where he was now, his guardian hovering at his elbow.

"I can't afford something like this," Sollux found himself whispering nervously. "I can't afford to breathe the air in this shop."

"Price doesn't matter when it comes to matters such as these," Cyclos responded, voice soft and soothing as if he was a guardian talking to a wiggler, not a nearly full grown troll. "I will pay for whatever you want."

"Which ruins the gesture," Sollux pointed out as he ran his fingers across the braided gold chain that was displayed on top of one of the glass display structures. "It has to be from me, wholly from me, if it's going to mean anything."

That got a chuckle from Cyclos. "Do you really think I'm going to pay for this? No, you'll owe me. There will be a payment plan, not to mention interest and penalties if you don't make your payments. This will be yours, all yours, son. As it should be. So pick."

There was an honesty in those words that caught Sollux hard in the pusher. It was what he wanted, what he needed. And he couldn't deny how the contents of the glass display structure called to him. Earrings, rings, necklaces, pins, all sorts of jewelry in silver and gold and other metals, and set into each were differently cut, honey yellow stones. Some were crystal clear, some were smoky, some seemed to glitter with their own light. Some were cut in fanciful shapes, others simple and round, and more than a few in the different quadrant symbols. The ones that had his attention the most were the simplest ones, though. Simple silver bands that would shine next to her skin, a plainly cut round stone that had a more honey hue closer to his own particular shade of yellow. But were the simpler styles truly better? Would Terezi even like them?

"How do you even pick?" Sollux couldn't help but ask, raising his attention back to his guardian's eyes.

"Choose something that calls to you. A token is as much about the giver as the bond..."

For a moment Sollux regretted his asking. He remembered how painful it had been when Cyclos's matesprit had passed. It had taken almost a full perigee for Sollux to pry his guardian out of his respite block, away from a ring so similar to this one. A shining golden band set with a deep maroon stone. It'd taken another for Sollux to get his guardian to agree to the traditional management of a token after death. Tonight it still sat, set into a the same piece of marble that held the receptacle with the maroon's ashes. There wasn't a night that Cyclos was in the hive where he didn't spent almost an hour meditating on the memory of his matesprit.

"Whatever moves your pusher will win hers. After all, you've already done the hard work," Cyclos pointed out, smiling widely. "Go on, find something you like."

"You aren't going to help?"

"I have my own token to look for," Cyclos chuckled, giving Sollux a rather exaggerated wink. Then he wandered off, further down the display structure to find larger pieces. Not that Sollux could blame him. Goatad Seborn was far too large for the kind of sizes Sollux was looking at.

In the end it took almost three full hours for him to even narrow it down to two items. By then Cyclos had already finished selecting his own offering to Seborn, and to say that his guardian was hovering was far from an understatement. Soon enough, though, he was leaving with Cyclos, his token carefully nestled in a soft velvet box. His mind was racing ahead to figure out when he could give Terezi his gift, make their connection truly official. Already he was planning, trying to concoct some sort of celebration where he could give her the ring, but he knew it wouldn't work. Terezi didn't go in for all that pomp and nonsense.

"So, shall I drop you off?" Cyclos asked as they settled into the crawler.

"Drop me off where?"

The look Cyclos gave him was one of pure incredulity.

* * *

Four knocks. A long pause. One knock. Another pause. Three knocks with the last one being halfway cut off by the door to the hive opening so fast that it might have torn the horns off of a troll had a rope been tied to one of them and the knob. Not that Sollux cared; how could he when he was presented to the sight of his moirail, framed in the warm glow of the light of the block behind her. Not that there was much time to enjoy the sight of her; before he could even open his mouth to greet her he was caught up in her boney arms and spun around three or four times. If there was one thing that annoyed him about his moirail, it was her insistence on swinging him around like some kind of wiggler's toy. Tonight, though, tonight he had something he could counter with. A week and a half off of his medication was more than enough to let him grab her hair with a twist of psionic power and tug it just enough to get her to stop.

"Now that is hardly polite, mister appleberry eyes," Terezi snapped, even as she set him down. "You haven't..."

"No," he confirmed. "So do we really have to talk about this stuff?"

"Well, the prosecutor would love to interrogate you, but there are FAR more important things to be done, aren't there? Come in, come in, what are you even doing here right now? I thought we'd agreed on..."

Sollux just smiled as his moirail ushered him, overday pack and all, into the hive he'd only ever heard about before. His eyes darted around the blocks as Terezi gave him a whirlwind verbal tour, blowing by everything, right down to her much bemused guardian who just sat in the middle of the entertainment block, watching them with wide, inquisitive eyes. There wasn't even a chance to ask her about food or drink before they were secure in her respite block and flopped down onto a pile of scalemates. Within seconds Terezi was beside him, balancing a particularly vividly colored scalemate on Sollux's face, and laughed wildly at the sight he must have presented.

"This is really how you're going to greet your moirail when we haven't seen each other in person in this long?"

"Absolutely. Because otherwise you're going to take yourself far too seriously for your own good," she countered, chuckling. "What are you even doing here? We agreed that you wouldn't show up for a few days. That you had to dedicate some real time to your conference thing, figure out how to help your guardian, all of that," Terezi said, her fingers already scratching around the bases of his horns.

The problem was not that Sollux didn't know how to answer, or that he didn't have an answer, but that with Terezi scratching his head like this. Somewhere, deep in his throat, he could feel an actual purr building, and as embarrassing as it was, he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to hold it back.

"Well, could it be that a purrbeast has your tongue, my appleberry fool?"

Everything he had was caught up in trying not to make a sound.

"Sollux, I've never really known you to be so silent on important issues. What a shame. Oooh... What was that? Did you just make a sound? A sound that calls to mind the noises of a young purrbeast that is pleased with attention lavished upon it? Sollux, I wasn't aware that you could even begin to make such a sound."

"TZ stop!" he managed to get out at last, flailing his arms in her general direction. Not that any of them hit her. No, she just laughed and rolled away across the pile, leaving Sollux alone, flailing at empty space.

"Why Sollux, if you didn't like my attentions you should have just said something!"

"How was I even supposed to get out two words with you scratching my head like that?"

"Objection. You did manage to get out two words. Your argument is flawed."

"Do you or do you not want to hear why I came early?"

"Sounds like a bit of a..."

"I swear, TZ, if you finish that sentence I'll have to hide all of your scalemates. Don't think I can't do it either."

That got her to shut up. In fact, she even went so far as to sit on her hands and feign the rapt attention of a schoolgrub waiting for a lesson. It was one of the things he found so fascinating about her: how she could be so enthusiastic about everything in her life. How she could live so intensely, Sollux had never really understood; what he hoped was to be worthy of it.

Still, it gave Sollux a chance to sling his pack off, unlatch it, and dig around for what he wanted. At last he found it, by touch more than anything, and pulled out the case. When he looked up he could see just how wide her eyes were, how her flap was hanging open and her teeth were razor sharp. Not that he cared. There were things worth caring about, and honestly, one of them was sitting there in front of him on her hands with her eyes giant and knowing exactly what was going on.

"Sollux..."

"Don't mess this up for me," he said, shuffling over to her side, pushing scalemates here and there out of the way. "I had all these plans, not that any of them would've worked, so let's just make this easy, okay?"

She nodded, a small gesture, and that was enough to keep him from stopping. Slowly—Terezi loved a show—he let the box creak open, millimeter by painful millimeter. By the time he only had the thing a quarter of the way open Terezi was lunging across the distance between them, snatching the box, and tackling him in the process. So they lay there together as she opened the box, snatched out the ring, and slipped it on her finger.

"It's beautiful, Sollux. So beautiful."

"It suits you."

"Flatterer," she countered, chuckling. "I'm not going to ask why now, or whether this is why you came here. No. I just want you to stay right there. Promise me you'll stay right here for a minute."

"Where else am I going to go when I've got your pointy elbows buried in my stomach?"

"They aren't going to be there, duh!" Before she even had it all out, Terezi was standing and shuffling off to some corner of the block that Sollux really hadn't had a chance to see since he was deposited so kindly on top of her pile. Soon enough she was back, a larger version of his own velvet box cradled in her hands.

"Terezi..."

"Shoosh. I'll pap you quiet if I have to. I've had this for the better half of this last sweep. Hadn't given it to you because I hadn't seen you and because I didn't know if you would want it. But..."

"How could I not?" Sollux asked, accepting the case as she held it out to him.

"That's always the question. There isn't always an answer."

Holding back his own smile, Sollux cracked the box open and stared down at its contents. Silver, just like he'd selected, but this a solid but thin wire bracelet set with a series of teal jewels. Into each was etched her symbol, the light from the block setting the pale symbols glowing against the jewels.

"It's... Beautiful."

"It suits you."

"Mocking, pointy horned, cackling flatterer."

Another tussle, this one ending up with Terezi on top once more, sliding the bracelet in place around his wrist. Once it was done she took his hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it.

"Moirails," she stated.

Sollux reached up, placing his hands on either side of her head, and pulled her down to kiss her forehead. "Moirails."

And for the morning, for the day, that was the only thing in the world that mattered. That and falling asleep on Terezi's slab, surrounded by her scalemates and her arms.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Notes: I'm back. What do you think about that? Good? Great. Transitional chapter is short, for the sake of how long the next needs to be. My new beta (drhicks76) also tells me that 1.3% of trolls are allergic to lavender or honey. I'm insensitive.

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Part 11

Were it not for the fact that Terezi had classes to deal with first thing in the evening, Sollux would have spent the day there, held in her bony arms and loving every minute of it. As it was, though, she rolled them both off of the slab long before the first hint of dusk. Not that Sollux wasn't bordering on being awake anyway; it was just that he had loved spending the day in her arms, loved the way that it had seemed to make everything quieter in his dreams, kept the voices that he didn't want to hear at bay. Not that he began to believe, even for a moment, that just because he couldn't hear them that they weren't there. Just because he wanted it to be gone didn't mean his guardian was safe, and in truth he owed it to himself and Cyclos to see that his guardian would be safe.

So Sollux too prepared himself for the day by switching into new clothes, eating a breakfast of cluckbeast eggs and fried oinkbeast meat with Terezi and her guardian Pyrali Sprite, and then it was out the door, starting on another quest to try and find the convention center. Of course promises were exchanged: that Sollux would be back to do moirail things, that they'd have a proper pale date to celebrate, that they'd watch their shows and everything, but that he still owed time to his job and his guardian.

It took another three hours for Sollux to find his way back to the convention center, caffeinated swill in hand, but he made it there none the less, and the major shock was that he didn't regret it. Knowing that his guardian would either be safe in the presence of his new moirail or with his producers, frustrating them to the very depths of their pans, made Sollux feel like it was safe enough to really look around. The variety of displays, talks, and demonstrations were absolutely interesting. New ideas for bee communication dances, strategies for cross pollination of hives, how to help see a apiculture system through a power or heating failure; sorts of things that Sollux had never really thought about beyond simple pondering when he was on the edge of dreaming. Time passed far faster than he expected, and before long he noticed an alarm on his comm device was going off, telling him it was time to head for Vekila's, the eating establishment that Saph said they'd met this 'shadow' at. He intended to try having his evening meals there, in hopes of finding Vriska Serket, or someone that his pan screamed was the shadow.

Halfway there, though, his comm started shrieking for him, stopping Sollux in his tracks. With a sigh he dug it out of his coat pocket—the Capitol was far too cold for his tastes due to the seaside location—and had to frown at the number. It wasn't one he was familiar with, so how had they gotten his comm frequency? Oh well, no need to wonder when he could just answer.

"Yo, Captor here. What ya got?"

"Ah... Yes. Um... Mister Captor? Is is Sollux Captor, right?"

"Didn't I say that already," Sollux asked, already annoyed. "Who's this?"

"The, um, ward of Cyclos Anders? That would be you?"

"I already said yes. What do you want?"

"Well, uh, this is... Um... You see I'm one of the, well, producers for his... Well, you know. I wanted to know if..."

"If..." Sollux prompted, about ready to bite his own fingers off over how painfully slow the conversation was going.

"If you'd seen him today."

Sollux stopped in his walking, utterly still and he was certain there was a chill going down his spine. Had he missed something? Had sleeping in Terezi's arms numbed his power to the point where he hadn't heard the worst happen to his guardian?

"He was... well, due for a meeting. And... He didn't..."

The fact that the producer even tried to keep talking would have been amusing as Sollux shut down the connection between them, his fingers already typing in the frequency of Cyclos's device. Not that he was going to wait to find his guardian either. Even as he dialed it in and waited for a connection, he buoyed himself up on a wave of his psionics. There wasn't even a moment of panic as he took to the skies of the Capitol, not a second where he doubted that he could carry himself on his psionic force. The desperation was far too much to allow for even the slightest hint of failure.

* * *

When he found Cyclos it was in the middle of his respite block at their temporary residence hivestem. It had taken him fifteen minutes to get processed through the front office block, get his access card, and work his psionics just enough on the door between their respite blocks to undo the lock on Cyclos's side of the door. But then and there it felt like an eternity crossing the space from the joining door to the spot where Cyclos lay weeping.

His hands were gentle as he shifted his guardian into his arms. From what he could see there was no real injury visible on the older yellowblood's body, which meant that whatever hurt him was all in his pan, or his pusher. All Sollux could do was hold Cyclos, let his guardian cry on his shoulder. He didn't understand why, didn't understand how, but he let it happen.

It took all of ten minutes for him to find the cause. Ten minutes of his guardian weeping despite the fact that no more tears were coming, of whimpering like a hurt barkbeast, and then Sollux saw it. Lying there on the floor nearby was a glint of silver and yellow. A ring big enough to fit on almost three of Sollux's fingers at once. So here, then, was the source of the suffering: Sollux's gifting of a token had gone over well; Cyclos's attempt had been rejected.

"He's not worth your attention," Sollux whispered, not sure if it was true but knowing his guardian needed to hear it. Needed to believe there was something more than the pain. Something beyond the pain. "If he can't see how important you are, well then he isn't worthy of you."

"Sollux..."

"It's going to be okay. I promise you that it will be okay."

As if something like this could ever be okay. A troll could survive red rejection, black rejection, or the failure of an auspitice. It was made far easier when there was a moirail to help the pain seem bearable. There was something, though, about pale rejection that broke a troll for a while. The vulnerability that it took to ask the question, the vulnerability one showed when courting another troll pale, they were something sacred, something fearful. It was a risk that no one wanted to take, and everyone did. Usually, though, they weren't rejected. Usually they had perigees or sweeps or something that seemed to make it obvious to both that this was what they wanted. And the thing was, Sollux had been so sure when he saw them together that this was where his guardian and Seborn had been going.

"Sollux..."

"I'll make him pay for..."

"He doesn't want someone as old as me."

Even Sollux could hear the angry force of the psionic sparks crackling around his horns and eyes. The world itself seemed to be taking on an odd, blue-red color. "How dare he..."

"Oh Sollux, don't..."

"Who does he even fucking..."

"Sollux, stop. He's lost a moirail before. He doesn't think he can handle losing another so soon, and my age..."

A fair enough concern, but Sollux didn't care. His guardian deserved so much more than a troll who would treat him like that. Who would suggest that they couldn't be pale because they'd lost a moirail before. It wasn't fair to Cyclos, it wasn't fair to Seborn, it wasn't fair to anyone for him to act like that.

"I... I just need time."

"You'll have as much as you need," Sollux promised. It was all he could do. Well, no, that wasn't entirely true. A slight twist of psionic power brought the room's communication device to his hand, and he quickly started to adjust the frequency to the one listed on the back of the receiver.

"Sollux, what are you..."

"You're sad. This calls for some recovery time. Which means..."

"Honey lavender chilled desert?"

Sollux nodded. "Honey lavender chilled desert, and maybe some movies. Everything you need to get over a disappointment. We'll do it together. A little honey lavender hasn't hurt anyone before."


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Notes: I've been teasing people with who this chapter was SUPPOSED to contain for a while now. But guess what, the story had different opinions from me regarding just how long this necessary scene was going to be. Still, a character that you are waiting for appears for just a moment at the end.

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 12

Setting up a routine was the only fair way to handle everything that Sollux needed to do on a nightly basis. In the evening he woke, saw himself through his ablutions, went to the caffeinated refreshment location for a tall cup, and made his way casually—turned out most trolls didn't like a psionic gliding through the night sky; bigots—to the convention. There was always something interesting to be done there: a lecture to see, a debate to get into, swag for the taking. Not that he saw most of it because, when the mid-night meal rolled around, Sollux set off to the next task. On even nights that meant lunch with his moirail, maybe even a little date out about the city. The mornings on those nights were spent with Cyclos, a meal together and discussions of whatever came up. The odd days were a reverse: lunch with Cyclos, maybe a bit of time trying to auspistice between him and his producers, morning meal and a pale date with Terezi. And in the time between mid-night and morning meals Sollux took his husktop with him to Vekila's to have a few drinks, maybe a little snack, and work while keeping his increasingly bichromatic eyes peeled for his prey.

It was taking too long, Sollux had decided two nights ago, which marked the end of the first week of his time in Capitol. Already his guardian was starting to sniff around him due to his attitudes and the fact that he'd taken to wearing shades with one blue lens and one red to hide his eyes. That question, at least, Sollux had been able to brush off easily, claiming Terezi had bought them for him during one of their lunch dates. That had gotten Cyclos to lay off, but keeping his moods rather stable around his guardian was far from easy, whereas Terezi didn't miss a chance to reprimand him for being off of his medications at least once a night.

It was a cycle, and Sollux was frankly getting fed up with it. Tired of the debates with producers that he didn't even like. Annoyed at Terezi not laying off, even though she confirmed that she understood his reasons. Hated the latest annoyance of a message from Waleti sitting in his inbox, probably calling him back to Ristart. Not that he had any intention of going before he found Vriska Serket, and maybe even someone else if it turned out that she wasn't who he was looking for.

"Another drink?" the service drone asked in its garbled, hard to understand voice as it shuffled over to where Sollux was sitting at the hydration counter of Vekila's. Already it had a hydration hose in its claws, holding it with surprising delicacy for the size of the claws. Sollux waved the drone off, an exaggerated motion with his hand so that it could understand his rejection. A good service troll would understand a glare, but drones... Well, Sollux wasn't fully sure why they were given uses outside of their traditional duties in the brooding caverns, where they assisted the Mariarchs in their gathering and mixing of genetic materials.

"My bill?" Sollux asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his credit chit.

"Here, Sir," the drone responded, holding out a datapad instead of the hose. Sollux pressed the tip of the chit into the payment box, then confirmed it with his fingerprint and as the drone pulled back he stood, stuffing everything into his bag. There were more important things to be getting to right now. Cyclos was expecting to meet him for dinner this morning, and since they were going to be eating at Vekila's as part of a dinner meeting with his producers, Sollux didn't want to be discovered here. His guardian knew nothing of what he was doing with his free time, and the last thing Sollux wanted was for Cyclos to figure out that his ward was doing something. There was too much that Cyclos didn't know; there was too much that he couldn't know, and knowing Sollux spent time at Vekila's would just ruin everything. Luckily Sollux only ever ate at the hydration counter, which meant that the specialty droid that would be managing their dinner this morning would not recognize him. Sometimes one had to praise the slightly convoluted nature of their culture.

While speed wasn't exactly what he was going for, Sollux managed to make it several blocks away and force a very confused look onto his face even as he saw Cyclos round a corner and start to stroll towards him. For a moment Sollux was almost consumed with a desire to start raging at his guardian; what was he even thinking walking around alone near morning like that? He was older, he was dressed well, and he didn't look around himself nervously. All the markings of the kind of people that criminals would jump for their things and unprotected credit chits. Cyclos made himself a target when he was on foot, and if Sollux's dreams were anything to go by… well, he was going to meet trouble eventually, and it seemed just as likely to come from foolishly walking around on his own as anything else.

It happens in slow motion. Like time just stops to highlight the irony of the timing of his thoughts. All of it happens too slowly for Sollux to step in and stop it before it has a chance to start. Two trolls leapt out from the space between two sales hives. Their hands are on Cyclos before Sollux can blink, before he can see realization in the eyes of his guardian. One had caught the old troll up by the arms, was dragging him into the space between the hives as the other looked around and made sure no one was watching. When he saw Sollux—when had he become the only one on the street—he started forward, a menacing snarl on his face that bared enough of his lips for Sollux to see the blue cast to them. Was this it then? The sound of Cyclos's voice had been getting louder in the dreams, but it hadn't stopped. No, then, this wasn't it. Perhaps in part because Sollux was already here.

Even as the blue blood reached out, Sollux was throwing his own arm out before him, gathering the energy he could already feel crackling around his horns and his eyes; it was burning in his pan and demanded to be unleashed. Seeing the blueblood's eyes go suddenly wide as red and blue light flashed into light around Sollux's arm was more than just satisfying. No, that wasn't true… It was more satisfying to see the visual echo of the force of his power wrap around the troll, lift him high into the air, like a psychic hand gripping the attacker and holding him up.

"Sol..." a pathetic cry, Cyclos's, woke Sollux out of the reverie of awe he had felt at his own power. Right, there was something to be done. With a small gesture he cut his power off from around his intended attacker and ran for the space between the hives.

"Shut-up, old man," a voice hisses even as Sollux turns the corner into the space. He's late, too late, to spare Cyclos the pain of this. When Sollux looks past the slender form of the troll attacking his guardian, he can see the blood almost pouring down the side of Cyclos's head. There's a look of terror, pain, and sorrow in Cyclos's golden eyes, and tears are mixing with the blood from what Sollux can see in that infinitely long moment.

The second attacking troll has a fist raised, a fist already spattered yellow with Cyclos's blood. She doesn't get a chance to strike Cyclos again. Again Sollux's hand lashes out, power surging forth from it and wrapping around the offending arm. She tries to throw the punch and finding her arm immobilized the troll looks over her shoulder, sees him, narrows her eyes in fury. Widens them in realization, and fear.

"Mutant freak," she hisses, angry for reasons Sollux couldn't even begin to understand, but now he knows her for what she is. No criminal would use that term if they weren't also a hierarchist. No, they wouldn't risk further angering an already enraged psionic.

Sollux just smirks, shakes his head, and grits out from between his teeth, "Drop him or I drop you."

She smiles in response, suddenly confident. "Not like..."

Contrary to what she probably 'knew,' Sollux had not been hatched, or pupated for that matter, yesternight. The look on her face was all he needed to know that the attacker he'd thought had learned his lesson about tangling with psionics had come up behind him. All Sollux had to do was whirl on his heels to see the blue lift his interlocked fists together, ready to bring them smashing down, fatally, into Sollux's pan. Some instinct found Sollux lifting his glasses just the littlest bit as he let his anger overtake him. Everything in him screamed for his psionic gift, and it answered, pouring from his eyes with a burning agony, blasting out and knocking his would-be killer back across the street, the flesh of his chest charred slightly from the blast. Carefully, slowly, trying to ignore the killer ache in his pan and his eyes, Sollux lowered his shades and turned back to the woman holding his guardian. Her eyes were once again wide with fear, and he could finally see the purple cast to her eyes. Figured.

"Well? Are you going to drop my guardian or not?"

She did, turning quickly and letting her blood-spattered fists rise to act like some kind of protection for her. As if it would help. All it took was Sollux raising a hand to see her flinch back. Again he called up the powerful energy that seemed to be all but clinging to his skin and lashed out at her. Tendrils of power wrapped around her, binding her wrists together, covering her mouth, slamming and holding her against one of the walls. An after thought sent another tendril of energy for the other attacker, pinning him to the wall Sollux had blasted him against. Meanwhile Sollux made his way forward and knelt before his guardian. Cyclos was crumpled up on the ground, and when Sollux crouched down and put a hand on his guardian's shoulder, Cyclos flinched away from the touch.

"It's okay," Sollux said, resisting the urge to shudder at how raw his own voice sounded to him. "Cyclos... I'm here."

That didn't stop the shaking. Neither did taking his guardian into his arms and whispering comforting words to him.

* * *

"Can we just fucking hurry this up? I need to go see him, make sure that he's okay!" Sollux shouted.

That didn't cause the violet across the table to even begin to back down. Instead he kept his cool, collected, superior look as he slowly flipped through Sollux's file. And there was no hiding the fact that it was Sollux's Enforcers file; there were too many of the normal sorts of signs for Sollux to see it as anything else. The seal of the Enforcers had been printed on the cover of the file, his own picture was looking up at him from where it was paper clipped to one of the pages, and he recognized Waleti's smooth handwriting covering the page that the fin-face was looking over. Still, the violet blooded Enforcer Captain hadn't said anything since he'd entered the interoxamination block. Nor had he even made a motion to remove the cuff's that were chaffing Sollux's wrists. Not that either of them thought they would really do anything if Sollux really wanted free. A simple—relatively light application really—of his psionics would be enough to have him free of the relatively weak metal.

No, they both knew that what was keeping Sollux here was his respect for the chain of command, and the knowledge that if he didn't cooperate then Waleti would pay him back for it, even if he managed to somehow not get himself fired. After all, there was nothing in Sollux's records that would ever suggest that he wasn't anything but loyal and obedient. The only reason they were treating him this way now was because of how he'd dealt with the trolls who had attacked his guardian.

"Come on, you're wasting both our time," Sollux couldn't help but say, for all that he was loyal and obedient. They hadn't let him see his guardian since the emergency healthtenders had arrived and carried Cyclos away on a landracer. Cyclos hadn't said a word to him the whole time the tenders had been hovering over and around him. Hadn't said a word during Sollux's call to the Enforcers. Hadn't said a word as Sollux had held him and they'd waited. Hadn't said anything at all. What that meant Sollux didn't want to know, but he intended to find out once this damn Captain released him to go see his guardian.

"I will decide when and when not I am time wasting," the violet said, barely looking up from the file. "Tell me, Captor, about your powers psionic. Aren't they supposed to dormant be?"

"Not dormant. Just repressed, and that's only normally."

"Which, of course, does not account today for," the violetblood responded, and Sollux almost wanted to scream at him to learn how to properly construct a sentence. But no, he wasn't going to mess with that right now. He was obviously already on rather thin ice if the Captain was asking him this.

"I haven't been on my medications lately."

"Not why?"

"You've read my file. I'm sure it's in there."

"Your Captain Waleti mentions some... dreams precognitive."

"Yeah. It's all in the files. Obviously you've been reading it."

"And they told you to stop medications your?"

"No. The fact that they told me that someone was going to try and kill my guardian and no one believes me made me stop taking the pills. If no one else is willing to protect Cyclos, then I've got to do it myself."

The violet—Sollux still didn't know his name—just gave him an incredulous look.

"You don't believe me."

"No."

"Well, what does it matter? I stopped those hierarchists from trying to off my guardian. So just let me go so I can go see him."

"No," the violet repeated. "For one thing Cyclos Anders has passed us instructions you regarding. They do not include going to him see. You are to take your medications and report the happenings to those waiting for you at restaurant the."

There was the taste of blood in his mouth then, probably from the way he'd started to nibble on the inside of his lip to keep himself from starting to shout. Didn't guardian-ward privilege mean anything to the Enforcers in a situation like this? Apparently not, because he was being held here like a criminal, and for what?

"After I..."

"You're in no position to make demands of me, Captor Sollux. You have orders yours. Be thankful that we are not holding you for assault with a deadly force or for false accusations of casteism blood. Were it not for the arguments of your Captain, not to mention Generali Hydrus, you'd be in a cell now block."

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Waleti was going to fry him for this, not to mention possibly fire him. Okay, so maybe that reflected a bit of confused priorities, but what could he say about it? He'd blown it with her now, for sure, and if nothing else she was going to have him on suspension for perigees. No working from home, no long lunches, no fun cases, nothing. And there went any potential for him to take a traveling vacation again. Like she was ever going to let him outside of her jurisdiction where he could be an embarrassment; could be a threat to her career.

"Sir...?"

"The man you attacked has been taken to the hive healthtender. The woman says that you attacked them prompting without."

"Like Cyclos's blood on her hands doesn't tell another story..."

"Yes, we are certain they attacked you but not that they did it for the reasons said you. They claim to be thieves common. That their attempt on your failed guardian. Nothing more, less nothing."

"Whatever. Am I free to go?"

"Yes, but you are expected to return to Ristart in three time nights. Otherwise you will be escorted there by men mine."

Great, just what he needed. More complications.

"I'll be gone," Sollux promised, not sure whether or not he really would be. Still, easier to lie now than tell the truth. "Am I free to go?"

"Yes. Your guardian wishes you to spend your mornings at your temporary hivestem residency. He intends to call you morning this. As does captain your."

Fuck. Things just weren't going his way tonight. Still, Sollux couldn't help but enjoy the look on the violet's face as he reached for the cuffs with a key in hand, and they sprang open without prompting. Apparently finely tuned use of his psionics was possible too. He'd hoped that he'd only have to snap the cuffs, but he'd managed to trip the lock with the psionics alone. Nice little trick he'd have to note for later. Maybe write a white paper for the Enforces about the use of cuffs on psionically gifted trolls. But that was for the future. For now he passed the cuffs over to the violet, stood, and made for the door.

"It's been a pleasure, Sir," Sollux said, forcing a pleasant tone to his voice before slipping out of the interoxamination block.

* * *

Three hours. Three fucking hours to deal with the disbelief of the producers and their guests at Vekila's. They had hemmed. They had hawwed. They had pandered and deflected and denied. And Sollux, he'd resisted holding them upside-down by their ankles with his psionic so he could shout into their mute faces. Three hours and the only thing he had gotten the assholes to agree with was that Cyclos should not be allowed to wander the city alone. Not that they intended to give him a proper guard. No, that would be too logical. Instead they promised a crawler devoted only to Cyclos's use, with a personal driver. Like that would help.

At last, though, Sollux couldn't handle it anymore, and rather than staying to listen to them bicker further, Sollux just slunk back over to his normal place by the hydration counter. Or at least he slunk for a while. Slunk until he caught a flash of cerulean, a hooked horn, and his eyes flew across the room.

Flew straight to the only hope he had left, who was being seated at a table along with a pretty troll, their drone carefully pulling out chairs for him.

Finally he'd found the only hope he had left. The only answer he might ever find.

Finally he'd found Vriska Serket.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Notes: Let's face it. I've been trying to write one thing but it has been failing since I've been so intent on this chapter of this story. This is the chapter that made this story necessary. It was something I couldn't tell in the previous story. Also, I'd like to thank drhicks76 for inspiring the design of the key player's dress. I've decided a variation of said dress is a universal constant.

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Part 13

Waiting, as it ever was, turned out to be the hardest part. It might have been because everything else before it had gone so well. For almost five minutes he'd sat around, watching, waiting for the right moment to act. Most of the time he spent looking at Serket's dinner companion, a lovely, taller troll woman who seemed to be dressed in a single piece of fabric that mostly wrapped around her as if it was a dress. It was simple, but the way the twining white vines seemed to spread and curl around the black fabric was quite complimentary to her well rounded shape. There was something about the not-dress, the way she wore it cinched together with a rich, jade colored sash put Sollux, for some reason, in the mind of that Gamzee Makara guy.

His moment came when the service droid made its way to the hydration counter where Sollux was sitting, and started to talk in the gibbering language that droids and drones shared. It didn't take much: just a message hastily scrawled on a napkin and slipped under a glass containing a decidedly vile looking blue drink. With that done he slipped off to the hall outside of the solar garment block to wait for the confrontation.

The wait, for all that it didn't seem to end, wasn't all that long. Sure, he spent some time pacing back and forth, but before he really had the chance to start chewing on his nails, there was a voice from behind him.

"So just who are you and what is it you think you know about me?"

When he turned he found her there, Vriska Serket, glaring at him with something approaching a sneer on her face. It was an unflattering appearance for her; it certainly didn't go with the dress she was wearing, which obviously had as much attention in the details of its construction as that of her dinner companion. It was a construction in blue, black, and silver; the blue the exact shade of the cerulean of her eyes and painted onto her lips. The gauzy blue fabric was layered over a shining black, and both were shot through with silver threads that called to mind spider webs. Sollux was certain it would have been better to have fuller, flowing skirts, but Vriska's dress was almost skin-tight, with the gauzy blue just loose enough to slide over the black in a way that almost suggested waves. The only place where the black overlay the blue was in a tight bodice that emphasized her figure and yet hid very little of her flesh, her rumble spheres emphasized by the way the silver threading curled and swirled around the area.

"My eyes are up here," Vriska said, her voice laughing and yet with a sharp edge to it. "Unless you're planning to do something about them, I'd prefer you didn't focus too long on my... advantages."

"Some people would argue that they aren't necessarily an advantage," Sollux snapped back, fixing his face in his own snarl to try and match hers.

"If you aren't going to talk, I'm out of here."

"Do you always pay off the people you help with contracts to overhaul your security programs?"

Vriska, who'd been about halfway into turning away from him froze in place at that one.

"Maybe you'd like to take this somewhere private."

"If that makes you feel better about this, then sure."

Wordlessly she gestured toward the solar garment block, and just as wordlessly Sollux headed in there, knowing that the drone wouldn't even bother to stop them. He went just far enough back to avoid being seen, and soon enough Vriska had entered as well. But she didn't stop there, not a reasonable distance away. No, even as she stepped over the threshold her hand was moving between her legs, reaching through a slit that Sollux hadn't even noticed in the fabric. Then Sollux found himself pinned up against the wall of the block, solar garments pressing on either side of him, and a long knife at his throat. Worst of all of it were Vriska's eyes: in the rush her hair had flown out of her face and not only was her good eye narrowed, but so was the odd, mutated one that perfectly matched Saph's description. The look was likely calculated to make him afraid, and were it not for what he'd heard from Saph and others, he would have been. Besides, even if she tried something, there was the psionics to keep her at bay, even though his pan was still throbbing from earlier.

"Brave little warmblood, ain't ya?" Vriska purred, putting a little more weight against the blade. "Most would at least shout for help when I drew the blade."

There was a crackling sound in the air, and the smell of something burning, then Vriska's arm was pulling back from his throat, blue and red energy wrapped around her arm. Sollux only held her like that for a moment, but it was enough to earn him an appreciative grin when he released her from his psionic grip.

"I see," she said, finally backing up a step. Not that the knife went away; instead, she started to twirl it between her fingers. "But I don't think that's all there is. No, that isn't it. There's something about you. Who are you?"

"A troll who just had two hierarchists try to kill his guardian in front of his eyes," Sollux all but whispered.

Didn't matter, she heard it, just like she was supposed to. Her eyes were wider now, almost flashing with a kind of fury that he hadn't seen before. If she had been psionically gifted, Sollux didn't doubt that the room would have been filled with sparks of her energy. As it was the knife started spinning even faster, and at last Sollux almost felt afraid. Would have, if it weren't for the fact that she was so clearly furious at the attackers, not him.

"Sounds like you got lucky."

"Lucky? They were trying to..."

"He survived," Vriska cut him off, more a statement than a question. "You made them stop with your psionics, right?"

"I need your help, Serket."

"You've got me at a disadvantage," she said, leaning back against one of the walls. "Just who are you? Are you here to tell me your sob story about getting jumped?"

"I'm Sollux Captor, and my guardian is Cyclos Anders. Maybe you've..."

"Of course I've heard of him," Vriska interrupted him, waving him off with the knife. "Who hasn't? Karkat's absolutely enamored with his works."

"I noticed," he mumbled under his breath. "Listen, your dinner companion..."

"Kanaya," she corrected him, not even thinking.

"...is probably going to be suspicious if this takes too long. Can we get to it?"

"Get to what?"

"Like my note said," Sollux said with a sigh, "I know who you are and what you do."

"I'm a manager for a production facility, nothing..."

"You put time and money into helping the victims of hierarchist attacks. Not to mention your ward-mates. Well, my guardian is now a victim, and it isn't going to end just because I knocked two higher-than-thous on their sit meats. As much as I hate to say it, I can't keep him safe anymore."

"You're a..."

"A psionic who's also an Enforcer," he corrected her before he could finish. "I may have saved him tonight, but the situation has changed. I got in trouble with my superiors for protecting my guardian. I'm being sent back to my home town, and you can probably tell that Cyclos isn't leaving. And the fucking idiots at the production consortium aren't willing to protect him."

"They aren't the brightest people, the hierarchists. They probably won't even..."

"They're going to try again. I know it. And you know it too. The way you handle that knife says you're..."

"I'll do it."

"What?"

"I said I'll do it," Vriska repeated, pushing off of the wall and at last stopping her playing with the blade. "I'll make your problem go away. But you'll owe me, Captor. Owe me big time. Not to mention the fact that I've got to have privacy. I want to know everything about how you found me. We'll figure out the payment later. For now, I've got a lovely lady waiting for me, and some business of my own. Don't look for me. I'll be in contact with you."

"What makes you think..."

"If I say I can do it, I can," she said, already slipping her knife away. "Just watch out for it."

Like that, she was gone, out into the main area of Vekila's. Sollux was left behind wondering whether things had gone quite as well as he had hoped.

* * *

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling sapphiricDreaming_xX [SD]

TA: iive found her

SD: anɖ ju§t who i§ it that youve founɖϗϗ

TA: our liittle 2hadow

SD: oh ɖear me plea§e ɖon't tell me §uch thing§ϗϗ

SD: §hell know how you founɖ outϗϗ

SD: §he§ going to be §o cro§§ with meϗϗ

TA: geez 2aph calm down iit2 not liike 2he2 goiing two have a fiit

SD: you ɖont unɖer§tanɖ ju§t what §he§ capable ofϗϗ

TA: yeah ii thiink ii... waiit there2 2omeone at the door

TA: giive me a moment iill be riight back

SD: no that§ going to be her ɖon't go to the ɖoor §he§ going to be §o angry if §he know§ were talking about herϗϗ

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling sapphiricDreaming_xX [SD]

* * *

Sollux didn't even have a chance to open the door. By the time he'd gotten up from his husktop setup in the back of the respite block, the door had opened and closed, and Vriska Serket had perched herself on the corner of a clothing receptacle. This time her fingers were twitching a few small pieces of metal, items that Sollux recognized as lock ticklers. The small part of his pan that spoke with Terezi's voice in situations like this instantly charged him with arresting her for breaking and entering, possession of criminal tools, and malicious intentions. Instead Sollux stood there, staring at her, contemplating whether or not to boot her with his psionics or applaud her for the entrance.

"Caffeinated beverage?" he instead asked, making for the caffeinated drip husk as if that had always been his intention.

"No thanks. It makes me way too wired. Makes my hands shake when I'm trying to tickle locks."

"That's illegal," he pointed out, more because the Terezi voice refused to lay off until he did at least that much.

"So's what we're here to talk about, isn't it?" she countered, grinning at him.

It was almost weird, the way he could see her eyes following him as he moved through the block. Were it not for the fact that Sollux tended to keep a block dark when he was working online it wouldn't have been so creepy. He was used to moving around a dark block, used to knowing his way around, but this one... This troll was a little too good at following him. There was more to this Vriska Serket than he could quite figure out yet.

"Depends on your definition of legality I guess."

"I know someone who would say that the definition is rather clear," Vriska offered, still smiling.

It took Sollux a lot to not laugh and agree with her. Yes, Terezi was rather good at narrowly defining things that were a bit more flexible than that. Still, Sollux didn't want to give away that he had a connection to her, that technically they were inclade. No need to make this more complex.

"You're hiding something from me," she purred, crossing and recrossing her legs. The dress was gone, replaced by tight black pants, a deep blue shirt, and a dusty looking solar protection garment draped over her shoulders, which, of course, made Sollux wonder just what time it was. A brief glance at the alarm by the unused slab was all it took to confirm what her cloak implied: it was actually nearing noon. If he'd doubted before this that there was a slightly crazy edge to Vriska, then this dispelled all question. Who in their right pan went out at high noon?

"And you're hiding a lot of things from a lot of people," Sollux countered, grabbing the water catcher from the caffeinated drip husk so he could fill it. "Does that... Kanaya know you're here?"

The smile took on a more vicious edge, her eyes almost glinting in the dark. "I get your point. So let's get down to business here."

"What kind of business are we talking about?" he asked, calmly filling the catcher with water, then returning to the drip husk.

"First and foremost, I want to know how you found me. I've got to deal with whoever turned me over to you. There's a lot of risk in my line of work, and if someone has loose lips then I've got to deal with it."

"No one gave you up," he said, rolling his eyes as he set the husk to brew. For a moment he stood there, staring at the husk. Red and blue lights were glinting off of the glass of the catcher. Where were those even coming... His eyes. When was the last time he had looked at his eyes?

"No need to panic, I'm not going to be too hard on them," her voice cut into his contemplation.

"I'm not panicking," he lied, far easier than he expected.

"Liar."

"You don't know..."

"I do," she said, laughter in her voice. "Sollux Captor, stop fussing with that drip husk and sit down. We've got to talk about this. Who told you about me?"

"What?"

"Which of those asses ratted me out?"

That got Sollux to laugh as he turned back to face his 'guest.' "Don't you know you're famous on the net?"

"WHAT?!"

"Not your name or even a description. They keep their mouths shut rather well, but there are rumors. Theories. They call you the shadow. Someone that swoops in to help when people are hurt by hierarchists. No one I knew had ever heard more than third or fourth hand rumors of your existence until recently. A maroon called Sapire, whose hands were broken. You gave her a contract for security procedures. Got her back on her feet."

"Ah yeah, I remember her. Poor thing was beside herself after what they did to her. Could barely string two words together afterward. Sad to see that she was so eager to give everything she knew over to you. I'll have to..."

"She didn't want to part with any of it. If it wasn't for the threat to Cyclos... She protected you as best she could, Vriska. All she gave me was a general description."

"You're kidding! And you managed to find me out of all of the trolls in the world off of..."

"I'm a codeslinger in my free time."

"And an Enforcer the rest of the time," Vriska countered, frowning. "Which is troublesome, don't you think?"

"Not when my own superiors refuse to take the threat seriously. Even now they won't do anything. I need your help."

"How did you know it was me?"

Sollux sighed. How did you explain something like this to someone? No, he wasn't going to. There were too many things that didn't make sense to more normal trolls. Not that he thought she was much of a normal troll. The glint in her eyes, the way she watched him, the ease with which she handled herself; there was nothing normal about this Vriska Serket.

"I had suspicions because of your history."

"History?"

"The case with your wardmates."

"A lot of people just seem to think that I did that to get some power. To take over from my hierarchist guardian. That I'm no better than him. What makes you so different?"

A shrug. "I just knew it was you. What's it matter? I need your help. So, are you going to give it or not?"

Vriska was silent for a moment, taking it in. Then, at last, she nodded. "Fine. Let's do it that way. I'll want some information from you to make sure you can properly account for whatever sort of payback I'll need. And I'll need some time to figure out a plan. How long have I got?"

"Not long. He's in the healthtender hive right now. But I wouldn't put it past them to try again."

"Give me your Trollian information. I'll get back to you about how you're going to pay me back for this."

She didn't even give him time to do anything other than write his Trollian contact information on her hand before she was slipping out of the block. Sollux was left behind to stare at himself in the mirror, and shudder at the solid red and blue shades that his eyes had gone, and the faint light they were giving off.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Notes: Spent part of my weekend making sprites for Lives Under the Pink Moon. Pop over to my deviantart or tumblr fic masterlist pages to check those out. See what Cyclos and Waleti look like in my mind (or even Sollux in his Enforcer uniform). Also... This chapter did not go how I expected it to. I did NOT sign up for this playing out this way.

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Doomed To Dream – Part 14

Given the choice between racing around Capitol, trying to find the shadow that his guardian's hope rested in, and waiting around in the temporary residency hivestem, trying not to chew his arm off, Sollux would have gladly gone back to the nerves of the first nights in the city. There was little to do in his respite block, and it wasn't getting any easier to not do it. Because not doing it was indeed something that he was facing until he was literally punted out of town. Frequently he tried to contact his guardian, but the trolls who answered the line at the healthtenderstem kept turning his calls away, claiming that his guardian was asleep. Sollux was pretty sure that Cyclos had told them that he didn't want to talk to his ward yet, which was almost more frustrating than being kicked out of the Capitol. Yet, worse than that, worse than anything else that Sollux could imagine: Waleti had not stopped sending him messages.

Even now Sollux was staring at his inbox, and the ever growing list of messages. Once every few hours a new one appeared, their titles becoming more and more threateningly vague. Not that he'd opened a single one of them. After all, he'd been the one to set up her processing systems. Better than anyone he knew that if he opened any of the messages she'd know and would browbeat him all the more if he didn't respond. So they all sat there, threatening and unopened, leaving Sollux with no choice but to send a quick message to Jorita, one of the other Comtrolls, to ask her to take on his work due to the injury to his guardian. She'd taken it on herself easily, mostly because she still owed him for getting her out of that trouble with those scammers.

Which left him little to do with his free time except hide out in his block, order food from the in-stem preparation team, and watch old videos he kept stored on his computer. No, that wasn't entirely true: sleep cycles were spent listening to the unrelenting sorrow of Cyclos's voice. It was almost enough to drive him mad, or at least make him doubt Vriska's capabilities. He still hadn't heard from her since her break in either. The only thing that had come of that was that Sollux spent a portion of his evenings sitting on the counter in the hygiene block with his legs crossed. He would either stare at his faintly glowing eyes in the mirror, or he would spend a few hours testing out his psionics, trying everything from lifting heavy items to doing increasingly more detailed work like folding towels and even attempting to brush his hair. That last one was a little bit of a challenge; apparently his working the lock open on the cuffs had been a bit of a lucky thing, what with how many brushes he'd managed to break in the course of his practice. Still, it was clear by the end of the first night that he was getting better. And that the light in his eyes was getting brighter.

Routines were not the kind of things that Sollux was overly fond of, for all that they seemed to dominate the world he existed in. It was almost a relief when the day finally came for him to leave the Capitol, if only because it meant he wasn't going to be expected to keep himself under hive arrest in the limits of the temporary residency hivestem. The only thing that worried him was what the troll sent to escort him to the skyglider and make sure he boarded. He'd been called by the captain that had interoxamed him the morning before his return trip and told that he'd be escorted to make sure he followed orders; an Enforcer would show up at the door of his residency at the scheduled departure time. So, the night before, Sollux had packed everything left to him up, locked the door that connected his respite block to the one that was supposed to be Cyclos's, and he waited, unsleeping, for his escort.

The only other thing he did to prepare was pull on the Enforcer uniform that he'd packed for the trip mostly because it felt weird to go somewhere without it. Not that he even wore the thing all that often. The Enforcer uniform was rather bland, if he had to be honest about it: black pants, black shirt, black solar protection garment, black shoes, all accents done with the specific enforcer's blood color and their sign embroidered into the corner of the hem of the coat. Still, it was distinct, recognizable, and instantly respected. Wearing it made trolls show respect, and that was something Sollux intended to take advantage of with his escort. If they were annoyed to be wasting their time showing someone out of town, maybe the uniform would remove a bit of the edge of their irritation.

Eventually the time came, marked by three quick knocks at the block door, and Sollux could do little but join his bags by the door. With a deep breath he composed himself, opened the door, and instantly took a step backwards in shock. That step was almost immediately followed by a second, this one the result of him recoiling from the sharp lash of pain across his face. Disbelieving he raised a hand to his cheek, rubbed carefully at the spot he knew would be a bruise by this time the next night, and stared in shock at the Enforcer that had been sent to collect him.

"Give me one reason not to have you turn in that uniform right now," Waleti all but snarled as she stepped through the doorway. Sollux couldn't help but back up a few more steps, jaw hanging open, staring in utter shock at her.

"When...? How...? Why...?" he asked, almost stumbling over the words as badly as he might have had they had an 's' in them.

"When? This morning. How? Skyglider. Why? Because I _told _you not to get into the kind of trouble that I can't get you out of. And what did you proceed to do after I at last calmed down and convinced myself that you were capable of acting responsibly in this situation? You get into a fight using your underdeveloped psionic powers. You severely injure not one, but two individuals. You get your guardian to actually cease speaking to you. You get yourself, and me, in trouble with the higher ups, and you even manage to offend a captain of a local division to the point where he insists, as is his due, that I personally come out here and drag you back to Ristart! Can you even begin to fathom how embarrassing it is to get that call? Worse than being a guardian and getting called to pick your ward up for freelifting at a shop!"

"Waleti... I..."

"No, Sollux, you are just going to sit there on that slab and be utterly silent."

"We've..."

"Do you think I'd come here without making time to deal with your foolishness? Better here than back at the division stem, where everyone can hear this!"

Okay, so maybe that was a good point, but it wasn't exactly what Sollux wanted to hear. He'd been certain there was a non-zero chance that he would be put on suspension once he got back to Ristart, if not fired out of hand. The skyglider ride was supposed to be his chance to prepare himself for his meeting with Waleti. It wasn't supposed to be here, it wasn't supposed to be now. Yet she ordered, and Sollux obeyed, moving to sit on the edge of the slab. Even as he sat the door of the block was slammed as Waleti fully entered the room. Her normally cool, collected expression was replaced by one of utter fury, a kind of anger that Sollux had never seen in her before. Gone was the calm and collected troll he'd always respected, replaced by something more fiery, more compelling than he'd ever thought possible. Watching her like this, Sollux could almost envy whoever ended up with her in spades, not that it was quite what he wanted from her; he never expected he'd ever win his way into her affections, no matter which quadrant.

"I'm guessing saying sorry won't..."

"Did I say you could speak?" Waleti snapped. "I quite distinctly recall telling you to keep silent. If you know what is best for you, you will obey this order. Empress knows that you haven't obeyed many of my others. And no, Sollux, I'm not even joking here. Cases of abuse of psychic gifts make it back to her in the end. Were you not aware of that? No, I can see you're about to dare to interrupt me, and I won't have that. I am serious, Sollux. Very serious. Do you even understand why what you did was a problem? Yes, we all respect that you were attempting to protect your guardian, but you of all trolls should remember the careful restrictions that have been placed upon trolls of your potential power. We cannot afford a repeat of what occurred with the limes, none of us can. But that doesn't mean the Empress, or worse, Generali Hydrus, would hesitate to do what was necessary to preserve peace among the bloods."

She was pacing. Sollux had never seen Waleti pace before. If she'd ever been nervous enough to do it before, she'd always hidden it. Yet here she was, pacing before him, ranting at the walls of the block, and playing with her braid as she did. As mad as she was, Sollux couldn't help but notice how cute she looked like this. It took a lot to keep a look of repentance on his face for those times when she whirled on him and shouted directly at his face for a few moments, because he didn't need to add his smiling at her making everything worse. Or worse, make everything complicated.

"You're an Enforcer, Sollux, even if you're mainly a Comtroll. You should have known better than to make use of your power in such a way. How hard would it have been for you to restrain them until the proper authorities came? Did you know that the division captain out here was considering charging you with improper use of psychic force? He only relented at Hydrus's personal insistence. And just, may I ask, how did you manage that one?"

"I..."

"Shut up! I'm not even remotely as foolish as you seem to think I am! I know why she stepped in. We can't afford to not have someone such as you at our disposal. I wouldn't even be surprised if she was trying to woo you to working in the Capitol. Or has she not asked you already?"

Sollux couldn't even hold in his shock anymore. How had Waleti known about Hydrus's proposal, or at least her intention to offer it to him? Was it possible that Hydrus had passed it to Waleti before, but Waleti had refused to tell Sollux. Either way, Waleti seemed to read his understanding in his expression, because the pacing ceased and the stood there, looking at him with an oddly pained expression.

"So she has offered," Waleti sighed after a moment of staring at him. "I was worried your trip out here would lead to that eventually. I don't know how you managed to meet her, but I guess I should ask this now: are you going to accept her proposal? If you want to it is probably best that you just tell me now. I'll take you to Central now, instead of the skyglider. She'll see that this incident is wiped from your records. But you do know what it would mean to take her up on the offer, don't you?"

She didn't even give Sollux a chance to answer the questions, just immediately turned back into her pacing. "No, you don't. You couldn't. Generali Hydrus... She means the best for people, but more than anything she wants the best for the empire. For the Empress. For our people. She'll sacrifice someone's happiness and freedom for the sake of keeping things running smoothly. I've heard stories about those psychically gifted trolls she acquires. One of my closest friends from the academy was offered a position by Waleti. She was born with an ability called timed sight. She sees the present and slightly into her future at the same moment. It's more of a problem for her than an advantage. One eye seeing what is, and one eye seeing what will be. But she didn't think of that, didn't care about it. It isn't enough precognition to do her any good, but she tries anyway, wanted to be an Enforcer anyway. Then Hydrus heard about her. Pulled her aside for a conversation. I haven't heard from her since, Sollux. Not once in all these sweeps. After Hydrus got her fins on her, she all but disappeared. That is what it is to be one of her specially picked Enforcers. You don't spend time with your guardian. You don't see your friends. So far as I know you don't even get much time for your quads. You give yourself up, fully, for the empire, Sollux. For as long or as short as your life is."

"Will you just calm down for one sweet second and let yourself breathe? You're practically turning blue in the face," Sollux said, taking a chance to get the words in as Waleti paused in her frantic pacing to suck in a breath so she could keep going.

"Sollux, please just tell me you didn't take the offer..."

"Why would I even fucking want to do that? With the threat to my guard..."

"Threat?" That froze Waleti in place like nothing else had. "But you..."

"The voice hasn't died away," he admitted, shifting to cross his legs on the slab. "This did nothing, Waleti. All I've done is put it off for a while. Besides, Hydrus wouldn't even want me after..."

"Sollux, she sent me a message immediately after the incident, suggesting that if I was having trouble managing you, I was to highly encourage you to join her special division here in Capitol. I thought you knew."

"I hadn't even thought she'd consider me after all this. She could..."

"Do you really want her to protect your guardian at the cost of the rest of your life?"

There was little he could do but scoff at the question. "What do you think? Cyclos..."

"Isn't the only person you'd be giving up. You've got your moirail, right? And don't deny it, the bond token is peeking out from under your sleeves. You've got friends. You've got..."

The way she trailed off left him staring up at her in confusion. And that look didn't even begin to rival the look that had to be on his face as she moved to the slab and sat beside him.

"It isn't worth it, Sollux. It just isn't. Come back to Ristart with me. You'll be on a half-perigee suspension, and you'll be expected to not only go back onto your medication but to start seeing your thinkrapist and a psionic trainer weekly. We need to be sure you can stay in control of your powers until you are back on your medications."

"I'm not going on them," Sollux insisted. "And I don't need them."

"Oh? Really? Then what about this..."

Even though he knew it was coming, he didn't bother to try to stop Waleti as she reached for him. He stayed utterly still as she pulled his shades off and set them aside. Didn't even flinch as her hand came up between them, to hover before his eyes, where it was bathed in crimson and azure light. Bathed was pretty accurate too: Sollux hadn't been able to help but notice that the light was getting stronger the more he worked with his psionics, to the point that he was half worried that soon the light would be visible through, or around, his shades.

"I don't need them," he repeated, pushing her hand aside. "Why the hell should I care? I'm not ashamed of my power. I refuse to let them make me."

"Sollux, it's not about that," she said, shaking her head. "This is only a sign of the problem. Proof that you haven't been taking them. Don't you get it? Your condition..."

"Now you're sounding like Terezi," he snapped, jumping to his feet and glaring at her. "Why won't you all just lay off!?"

"Because of reactions like that," she countered, frowning. "One minute you're calm, the next you're shouting your horns off at someone. Then, without warning, you're depressed and unable to focus. I can't even imagine how crippling..."

"Just because you can't understand how to function like this doesn't mean that I can't!"

"Sollux..."

"Can we just get out of here? You can nag my auricular sponge clots off on the skyglider."

"Don't use that language with me," Waleti said, shaking her head. "Especially when you're only proving my point. Besides, the glider doesn't leave for a few hours."

"It doesn't? Why are you even..."

"Because my glider got in early," she interrupted, rolling her eyes.

"You should have picked a later one."

"I didn't want a later one. I wanted this one."

"So you could waste our time yelling at me for something I don't even intend to do?"

"To make sure you weren't going to take up Hydrus on her offer, and to help you through it if you chose to anyway."

"Hardly sounds like a reason to be here so early."

"You're impossible," Waleti sighed, standing and moving towards Sollux, holding out his shades.

"And I wouldn't be in this mess if you'd been willing to try and protect my guardian. But no, you..."

"You thought you could handle it yourself, and you couldn't. You managed to fail in that, got kicked out of the city, and somehow in the process managed to catch the eyes of a troll who would tear your life apart if you let her."

Met that troll twice, not that he was going to admit that little fact.

"I wish you'd listened to me, Sollux."

"Then Cyclos would be dead."

"Oh? And haven't you considered that he wouldn't have been in a place to be threatened by them? Or that someone else..."

"No, I didn't. I know what my visions told me. They are never wrong."

"Then why are you fighting it?" she asked,

"What?"

"If they're never wrong, there is nothing you can do to stop what's going to happen. So why didn't you consider trying to make the best of the time left between you and your guardian rather than something so foolish? You're..."

"You don't get it, Waleti. I have to try and..."

"Alyssm."

"Huh?"

"This isn't an official conversation, Sollux. Didn't the slap get that through your pan?"

"Waleti..."

"Alyssm. I'm only Waleti when I'm on duty."

"I don't understand."

"You're so thick panned."

"Why are you..."

Sollux never got a chance to finish the question. How could he with Waleti's—Alyssm's—lips pressed against his. They were cold, far colder than he'd ever imagined, and with her so close to him he was overwhelmed by the scent of salt. Her hands came up, after a moment, to tangle in his hair, holding him close for another few moments. Then her fingers, cold on his scalp, pulled away, leaving Sollux there, staring at her in shock.

"I begged you not to come to Capitol. I told you it could go wrong. I asked you to take care of yourself. And you didn't listen to any of it. You're a terrible subordinate, Sollux. What on Beforus am I supposed to do with you?"

"You could do that last thing again," he whispered. And sure enough she was there, her lips on his, and for a few moments all of his cares melted away in that touch and the smell of salt in her hair.


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Notes: Yeah. So, I totally didn't see that Sollux/Alyssm thing coming either. What can you do? It's just not nice when the characters refuse to tell the writer something. Okay, but back on topic. For those of you who think the story is nearing some kind of ending because Sollux had met with Vriska... Man are you wrong. We're only just beginning. When this story was first planned out, Sollux was supposed to meet Vriska somewhere around Chapter 6. Did you see how SPECTACULARLY THAT WENT!? Yeah... So, clearly this story still has a bit of something to it, right? Right. So let's get on that. Maybe. Okay, who am I kidding, we've got another chapter for you, longer this time, which builds upon the last chapter and FINALLY gets us advancing.

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Doomed To Dream – Part 15

There were a lot of things that Sollux had prepared himself for the possibility of when he came to Capitol. One finding some way to protect his guardian from the worst the world had to throw at him. Another was spending time with his moirail, and possibly officially sealing them into their quadrant. He'd expected sprees of watching enforcerdramas with Terezi, dragging his annoyed sit-meat all over the convention, and far too many dinners spent trying to talk Cyclos down from walking out his producers in a huff. In the beginning he'd had intentions of going to Seaedge with Terezi, spending hours getting lost in the underwater tunnels that connected the submerged city that many seatrolls called home to the official seat of Imperial power that Capitol was. More than once Sollux had heard his guardian talking about how beautiful it was to go there just after dusk, when the microscopic photosynthetic lifeforms in the water glowed an eerie shade of green and made the sea itself look like a field of stars. He could have walked those tubes that gave landtrolls access to Seaedge with Terezi for hours, hand in hand, watching the sea creatures frolic with swimming trolls, or they could have reveled in the way that Seaedge shifted under the waves, the structures made more from plant matter and organic components than the rigid chitin that composed land dwellings.

Sollux hadn't prepared himself for the possibility of being kicked out of Capitol before he could take Terezi to see those sights. Nor had he prepared himself for just how strong his psionics would be when he put them to use. Yet there was no turn of events that he had been as unprepared for as Waleti's—Alyssm's—arrival; for the press of her lips against his, for the way their fingers fumbled to undo he heavy clasps on each others solar protection garments, or for how the red and blue light caught in her eyes as she looped her arms around his neck and whispered words he'd never thought to hear.

Not even true precognizance could have made him believe that he would be lying here, between the layers of the slab coverings, his skin left tingling from the mixture of the chill where Alyssm's skin pressed against his own and the echoes of the pleasure that had so recently left his body shaking. Part of his pan lamented the fact that he couldn't hold her the way he wanted to now, an unfortunate side-effect of her horns, but it contented itself by urging him to roll on to his own side and drape his arm across her body. The action was rewarded with a contented sigh from his slabpartner, and the pleasure of finding her fingers suddenly entwining with his, both holding his hand and clutching at it possessively.

"We should not be lying here like this."

"Well, I could be convinced to move again if you really want..."

"Save me from overly energetic young trolls."

"I'm not that young," he protested, even as his pan insisted that even hot bloods were considered young at eight sweeps.

"I have two and a half sweeps on you," Alyssm pointed out.

"Are you saying that I'm to young for you? Because that would be a great realization to come to at this point."

"Is that the best sarcastic tone that you can muster?"

"Well I am a bit tired."

"Is that a complaint?" she asked, and Sollux could see her lifting an eyebrow by the faint light of his eyes. "Are you not the troll who implied that he still had energy?"

"I'll always have energy for you."

"Then do us both a favor and remove your arm from me. I still need an ablution before we get this place cleaned up."

Sollux groaned, but he still moved his arm at her request. "Clean this place up?"

"The slab coverings..."

"This is a temporary residency hivestem," he pointed out, slowly rolling out from under the coverings so he could sit on the edge of the slab. "They've got drones for cleaning."

"How luxurious. Almost makes one want to stay in a place like this forever. Tell me, is their food preparation service any good?"

"Cyclos only gets the best. What do you want?"

"Surprise me," she whispered close enough to his shoulder to make Sollux flinch.

When she had sat up he wasn't sure, but before he could even grab her Alyssm was almost gliding past him, out of the respite block and heading straight for the hygiene. For a moment he sat there watching her go, smiling appreciatively at the delicate curve to her back that contrasted so beautifully with the straight lines and jagged points of her horns.

The second she was out of sight Sollux all but dove for the commdevice. The way he figured it he could send a quick order down for a good meal, give the service drone permission to deliver it right into the block, and get himself more than a few free moments to enjoy Alyssm's company in the ablution trap. After all, finding someone you were flushed for so young did have its perks.

"So this is where the famous Cyclos Anders lives," Alyssm mused as she followed Sollux through the door and into the hive.

"Yeah. Oh, and his ward lives here too," Sollux grumbled as he dropped his bags just inside the entrance block door. "Small detail that a lot of the stalkporters seem to forget half of the time. Nothing quite like going out for the daily information rolls and getting three numbpans shouting questions about the latest films."

"I would think they would hardly seek to bother you when your guardian is known to be in Capitol working on the film."

"You'd be amazed just how far the idiots go for a story," he couldn't help but snarl. Part of the reason he'd never taken his guardian up on offers to get him a pet was because they wanted time outside at night, and he didn't want the slightest reason to be outside where the stalkporters could get at him.

"I suppose I would be," she agreed, frowning at the dropped bags and only leaving them behind when he gestured for her to follow him. "If you could spare me a moment, there are a few things which we need to go over before I leave..."

"You're just going to drop me off and run?"

"I still have a job to do," she pointed out, moving to perch on one of the more attractive looking couches that he knew was terribly uncomfortable. "Sollux, I was serious about the things I said this morning."

"The ones before or after..."

"Sollux!" she snapped, eyes flashing with anger. It only served to make her all the more beautiful in his opinion, but it was quite clear that this wasn't the time to share his opinion. Alyssm was gone, replaced with Waleti, and Sollux wasn't about to cross the latter for how it might affect the former.

"I can't go back to my thinkrapist," Sollux sighed, moving to sit in one of the more comfortable chairs in the room. "She'll force me back onto the medications."

"Which is what the point is," she countered, already calming down to the normal, business like Waleti that he knew. "Your uncontrolled psionic gift could be a threat, not only to yourself and others, but possibly to your guardian."

"It's not uncontrolled. You know that," he argued, unable to hold back the smirk as he thought about her first hand experience with his psionics some hours before.

The veiled comment only earned him a rather chilling glare. "That is not enough and you are aware of that. There are regulations..."

"They're practically frivolous," he snapped. "The regulations have no basis in reality. There have only been three cases of death by psionics in the last hundred sweeps, and only about thirteen injuries?"

"You have personally added two more to the latter," she countered, frowning. "And if I might remind you, the situation with the limebloods was almost..."

"Was likely the reason for the fear of our powers."

Sollux couldn't help but sigh at that point. How was he supposed to counter it? It could be entirely reasonable to say that there had been less injury and death due to psionics because there had been less psionics capable of very much. Chances were a lot of them were on medications like his own, ones that the healthtenders justified but either were placebos intended to take out their psionics, or the side effect of something actually beneficial was intentional. It actually made him want to scream in frustration. He'd heard of plenty of maroons and browns who had different levels of telekinetic or other psychic gifts that were potentially destructive, but there was nothing that received the same reaction as psionics. It just wasn't fair that he was born with this power and forced to let it shrivel up and decay.

"I won't take the medications," he insisted, meeting Waleti's eyes levelly, even going so far as to slip off his shades so he could force her to face the sight of his eyes. "I understand what they do to me, now. These? No, don't look away from them, you weren't doing that earlier. My eyes are meant to be like this. I was born with this power, and I'm not forsaking it to make other people feel comfortable with themselves. We don't shove these things down the throats of beasttalkers, and they could start a rampage with local animals. We don't shove them down the throats of telekinetics, we just give them some serious training. Well, tell me this, where's my training?"

"Sollux, I..."

"No," he growled, glaring at her. "No, don't get soft and understanding. I don't need Alyssm right now. I need Waleti to understand that there is nothing she can do to get me on those medications. Nothing anyone can do."

"Short of forcing them on you with an injection and committing you to a pantalhealth facility. Yes, I am aware of that. But that does not change the fact that the medications you are on also..."

"If they can't make something that deals with my pan without taking away my psionics, then I'll deal with the pan on my own. You want to see more control of my power? Then get me a proper psionic trainer. Not that guy from the psychic registry who spent all his time telling me how _not _to use my psionics; who spent the whole time going over ethics and morals and all that. Get me someone who will help me understand how to restrain a troll without hurting them. Someone who knows what it is like to have the power screaming in your pan when you're angry. Get me someone who knows what they are talking about. Or fire me permanently and watch me grab my guardian and take him somewhere no one will ever find us."

"What about your moirail? What about..."

She didn't say 'me,' but he read the intention anyway. There was the major flaw with the threat, not that he was willing to admit it. Or that he needed to, with the way his hand had gone unconsciously to his wrist and felt for the bond token mostly hidden under his sleeve. As unsure as he was about just what was going to happen between them, Sollux was certain about Terezi. She'd be furious, if she didn't take it upon herself to strike out after him and haul him back to face the music on her own. Answering to her for his behavior would be even worse than trying to explain to Cyclos just why he'd done it.

What was worse, Sollux hated the world for the fact that this entire conversation even had to take place. That he had to fight with the troll he wanted flushed over something that shouldn't even have been her business.

"What about us?" he found himself snapping anyway. There was just no denying that whatever else was a lie in his life, the bipolar diagnosis wasn't even remotely close to it. As much as he wanted to be soft and kind, the anger was winning out. Winning out despite the fact that he didn't want it to, didn't want it between them right now. "What even was that this morning? What were we..."

"Who said we were thinking? No, I do not believe there was really any true thoughts behind our behavior. Just the desire to act finally overcoming other restraints. And please, do not feign that you did not desire such an outcome to our interactions..."

"That isn't what I'm asking," he sighed, shaking his head. Well, that wasn't entirely true. There were things he wanted to ask her. Things he needed to understand about what had happened. Had it just been impulse? Or was it that she, like Sollux, wanted something more out of this? "What happens now that we're here?"

Again the warm expression he'd come to know as Alyssm's faded before the serious, stoic expression of Waleti. Odd how easy it was to separate between them. A small, quiet part of his pan couldn't help but ask if he really wanted to be so involved with someone who seemed to be two different people. It was almost ironic for his pan to ask that, seeing that so long as he refused to go back onto his medication, that was exactly what he was expecting of her. Trying to commit herself to not one, but two different sides of Sollux almost seemed unfair. Not that he was going to back down; the medication was not going to come back into his life, even if that meant giving up any chance he had to keep her.

"Forgive me for being presumptuous, but I would hope to continue along the lines that we started down. That is, of course, if you would agree to such a thing."

He wanted it, desperately, but he wasn't going to admit to it just yet. His flushed feelings were not going to become a chip for her to bargain with.

"I want to see where this goes," he admitted. "But..."

"Yes, there is the matter of policy. For the next half perigee it should not be too great an issue to surmount, considering the fact that you will be on suspension and thus not technically under my command. Yet after that... it is not permitted for Enforcers to maintain flushed or pitch relationships within a division. No one is immune to that rule. Even Generali Hydrus had to see to the transferring of her kismesis to another division to maintain their quadrant as long as they did."

"And if we make it that half-perigee? What then?"

"Have you considered transferring to the private sector?"

Sollux couldn't help but chuckle. "You sound like my moirail."

"Oh?"

"She's been on me for a while to just transfer to private so I could..."

There was little he could do but trail off as he looked at her and saw the rich blue blush that had risen into her cheeks. It was as attractive now as when... Well, it was just beautiful on her.

"You really should consider the potential of private sector. It would not only allow us more freedom, but there are fewer restrictions upon the psychic potential of independent contractors. The force could still, of course, hire you when it came to more difficult work that we were doing."

"That might be abuse of your powers as the division captain," he pointed out, smirking at her.

"One that I am more than willing to make, considering the fact that you are, without compare, the most talented of the comtrolls in the division. There are things we turn over to you that the others cannot begin to compare with."

"Alyssm..."

"Yes?"

"Could we possibly not talk about this right now? It's way more guesswork than either of us like to do. No, the more important thing is to figure out what we're going to do in the mean time. Because if you're going to insist on me being..."

"I shall look for a psionic trainer for you," she relented with a sigh. "Whether we work out or not, you're too valuable to the division to lose right now. Especially over something so minor. But know that if you get too much more attention like you managed in Capitol, Hydrus isn't going to be _asking _for your commission anymore. She's going to take it. Don't underestimate her. What Hydrus wants, she finds a way of getting."

"And I don't intend to be some piece in her collection."

"Good. Now, if you will excuse me, I've got to start doing some research into what resources I have available to me to find you a psionic trainer. And I'm going to have to talk with your thinkrapist about your medications. If there is a way for you to manage your moods while still retaining your psionic potential... Well I feel that we owe you that ability."

"Do you have to leave so soon?"

"I really must. There are still hours in the night and work that I had to put aside thanks to your getting yourself in trouble in Capitol. I would suggest you get some rest. There will be things we shall have to discuss in the next few days, and I doubt you will enjoy it."

"Of course, ma'am," Sollux said, rising to his feet as she did and giving her a sharp salute. "It's not like there aren't things to do here. Always work when someone returns to the hive."

"I am quite sure," she responded, returning the salute. "Sollux... I promise I'll do whatever is in my power to see that the Enforcers in Capitol look out for your guardian. Please don't worry yourself too much."

"I won't," Sollux agreed, though he didn't admit that it was because he had someone he had more confidence in on the case.

* * *

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

AG: Soooooooollux...

AG: You didn't tell me just how strong your psionics were, or just how you'd used them. Shame on you for keeping me in the dark.

AG: Did you really think I wouldn't find out a8out those two trolls you dealt with? I mean, yeah, you DID hint at it, 8ut that doesn't do justice for just how deftly you handled them.

AG: I would have told you how proud I was of you earlier if it hadn't 8een for all those noises I'd heard coming from your 8lock when I stopped 8y. I don't know who you had visiting, 8ut she seemed QUITE pleased with you.

AG: Sollux Captor I do not appreci8 8eing ignored like this.

TA: calm your rumble2phere2 iit2 not liike ii wa2 even at my 2y2tem when you 2tarted your liittle tiirade

TA: giive me two miinute2 two get ahead of your text 2pewiing power2

AG: Are you seriously going to suggest that you weren't at your husktop to see what I was saying? Then how do you even explain the fact that I've 8een sitting here almost twenty minutes waiting for you? Were you not at your husktop when you signed on or something?

TA: no ii wa2nt iive got my bee2 traiined two 2tart the 2y2tem and certaiin program2 up when ii enter the hiive

AG: Now those are some talented 8ees. Not that I expect they get to show off like that often. From what I understand you're pretty much a recluse.

TA: iim not a reclu2e ii ju2t prefer two be left alone

AG: That isn't what my sources tell me.

TA: a2 iif you have 2ource2

AG: I'll have you know that I like to 8e aware of who I'm working with. Turns out that Miss Sapire knows more a8out you than you suspected. Lucky me!

TA: iill beliieve that when ii 2ee iit

AG: 8elieve what you like to, Mister Captor. I know more a8out you tonight than I did last time I saw you, and it makes me more certain that I need to take you seriously. I do still lack one important piece of information, though.

TA: and that ii2?

AG: Just who that was 8ehind the voice I heard. And whether or not I need to congratul8 you on finding a flushed quadrant.

TA: …

AG: I came 8y your 8lock at the trh early this evening. Wanted to get a moment to talk to you 8efore you were shipped 8ack home for improper use of psionics. Figured you'd 8e most approacha8le just 8efore you left, and I had needed the time for my research and planning.

AG: I didn't 8other to come in 8ecause I wouldn't have even 8een a8le to hear the sounds from tickling the locks over the ruckus you were raising.

TA: ii 2uppo2e your 2iilence on that ii2 goiing two co2t me extra

AG: Now now, Sollux, what do you take me for, a common criminal? I assure you that I am in no way common, though the criminal thing is a matter of de88. It will cost you nothing at all for keeping that little secret. Well, nothing other than the identity of your companion. Curious minds want to know.

TA: and iif ii dont tell you then what

AG: Then nothing. I am a troll of my word, Mister Captor. We've agreed that my price would 8e for protecting your guardian, and I'll hold myself to that agreement as stringently as I expect you to.

AG: 8ut I'm all 8ut DYING of curiosity here. We don't want me getting distracted in my line of work. Who KNOWS what could happen. May8e in my distraction I could let slip to some stalkporters that you've got something going on on the side. From what I understand a8out your desire for privacy, that would 8e quite a disaster!

TA: ha2 anyone ever told you that youre 2ort of a biitch?

AG: Of course. 8ut I take it as a point of pride when someone other than those that have 8lack feelings towards me use the word. I'm flattered that you should choose it to descri8e me!

TA: ii 2tand corrected youre ju2t flat out crazy

AG: A slightly more insightful o8servation, 8ut still irrelevant. Are you going to tell me what I want to know?

TA: ii need your word that youll keep iit quiiet

AG: gru8scouts honor

TA: for 2ome rea2on ii hiighly doubt you were ever a grub2cout

TA: 2he wa2 my diivii2iion captaiin come two piick me up two drag back home

AG: Oh dear me. Now if that isn't an interesting turn of events. Sounds like one of your guardian's films. If my memory serves there isn't supposed to 8e in-division fraternization for Enforcers. Quite a risky situation to 8e waxing pitch in.

TA: for one thiing iim well aware of enforcer protocol2 for another iit ii2nt piitch were dealiing wiith

AG: Oh dear an illicit red romance with your superior? You really should tell your guardian. It would make an amazing film. My auspitice would LOVE it.

TA: can we get two whatever bu2iine22 youre here two talk two me about?

AG: Fine fine fine... You're such a 8ore, Sollux. No appreciation for the finer points of conversation. Then lets just get it over with. I think I might have found a way to see your guardian safe.

TA: then why the fuck have you been beatiing around the leafy vegetatiion thii2 whole tiime

AG: O8viously you aren't a student of the movies. Everyone knows 8uilding suspense is key.

TA: 2o ii2 not pii22iing off a troll who can liiterally 2hoot your head off wiith hii2 eye2

TA: at what poiint diid ii 2eriiou2ly 2triike you a2 the kiind of troll who gave a damn about 2u2pen2e?

AG: I just guess that it means that not everything a8out who we are comes from our guardians. Though honestly I'm a 8etter example of that than you are.

TA: would you ju2t get two the poiint already?

AG: Some people just aren't any fun at all.

AG: Anyway, what is the point of hearing it from me? You should 8e getting a call from your guardian a8out it soon. Just know that I've lived up to my side of the 8argain. I'll 8e in contact soon a8out yours.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

TA: and ii wont be payiing up untiil iim 2ure that he2 2afe

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Notes: Yeah. I don't have anything for you this time. Sorry

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Part 16

It isn't even five minutes before the comm rings, and Sollux is diving for his bag, digging around for it, and finally pulling out his comm. How could he not with what Vriska had implied? Not that there were many other trolls who called him other than Cyclos, but he hadn't heard from his guardian since the night of the attack. Cyclos had made it very clear that he was hardly pleased with the turn of events with Sollux. Hadn't even bothered to thank him for the assistance, for being prepared, only yelled at him for the use of psionics.

"Cyclos?" he asked, not even caring if it was someone else. If it was, he was hanging up on them. Even if it was Alyssm.

"Naw, my wicked little brother," a voice that Sollux faintly remembered answered. "Ah, but don't you up and get your disconnect on. My pale-brother said you might try that, and that I was supposed to tell you that he keeps the honey hidden in the cabinets over the thermal hull."

Yes, he had been about to hang up, but that little tidbit was more than enough to stop him. It had been the phrase that Cyclos had come up with when Sollux was still a wiggler and his guardian had gone off to do his first film in his ward's lifetime. They had agreed on that as a way for Sollux to know when someone talking to him was safe. To hear the words now, from Goatad Seborn, was almost enough to make him tear up.

"What's wrong?" he demanded, almost immediately.

"Ah now, let's not get all stressed. Do you think I'd sound so calm if things were bad with my main brother? No, just chill. Relax yourself."

"Your..." Sollux trailed off, only then realizing just what Seborn had opened with. His pale brother. Apparently the accident had managed to bridge whatever reluctance the purple had over their moirallegiance. The only positive side of the incident, if one could even call it that.

"Yeah. Wanted me to call and check in on you."

"Why can't he call himself?"

"The healthtenders have him all caught up in another test. Don't worry 'bout that either. Just one last check up before they turn him over to me."

"To you?"

"Yeah, who the motherfuck else? Gotta have someone to make sure your stubborn guardian takes care of himself. Gets his damn medications and sees to not letting his producers give him too much grief. Honestly, not looking forward to that one, but it's going to have to happen and I'm not letting them give him grief."

"Good luck with that," Sollux grumbled.

"Sure... Luckily they haven't been so bad. Cyclos said you probably scared them with that last meeting."

Good. They deserved it. How could they say they cared when all they were doing was giving Cyclos a driver.

"Anyway, thought you would be all up and gleeful to hear some wicked news that I got for ya. See, I ain't up and wanting no one trying none of that stuff on my moirail again, and since those film nuts weren't doing anything about it, I started looking into stuff myself. Came to me like a miraculous motherfucking flash: I've got myself in contact with this wicked brother from my schoolfeeding days, master at the martial disciplines. He's a giant fan of my pale-bro, and has promised to see some of his students watching out for your guardian. Ain't going to be a thing. No one is up and going to want to jump Cyclos with martructors hanging around him. Going to make sure some of those stalkporters always following him hear about this."

Martructors... well now that was an idea. If Sollux had been able to afford it and he had thought his guardian would have accepted such a thing with no explanation, he might have looked into hiring a martructor or at least an advanced martruction student to help his guardian out. Whether it would work or not was an entirely different question, one that he wouldn't be able to answer until he could force himself into a sleep-cycle. There was another question on the board to: could Vriska prove she had a hand in this ploy if it was what she had been hinting at.

Could it really be so simple? Had this been the answer he'd been waiting on?

"Other than that, we're keeping your guardian stowed at my hivestem, making him take landcrawlers around, all that good stuff. Shouldn't be a thing to worry your horns about, okay? I promise you, little motherfucker, that I ain't going to let my moirail or you down in this. We're going to see us all through this intact."

"Thanks. You don't know how much that means to me."

"Naw, brother, I think I all up and do. I think I all up and do."

It was only then that Sollux found himself wondering just how much Hydrus knew about his abilities, and whether or not she would break confidentiality to share them. From the tone of Seborn's voice, Sollux almost had to suspect she had.

"I got to get myself back to work," he said at last. "Tell him to call me when he can. That I need to hear his voice."

"You up and got it, my wicked brother. Count on me."

"I do," Sollux admitted, frowning to himself. "How could I not trust his moirail?"

The question almost hurt when he thought about how little he had trusted his own when it came to finding an answer for all of this.

* * *

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

TA: how diid you do iit?

AG: Oh? Have you had a message from your guardian then?

TA: no hii2 moiiraiil

AG: So this whole thing shook Goatad up enough to get him to commit. Thank goodness. You cannot 8elieve how stressed his wards have 8een over that. I hear a8out it endlessly from Karkat via Kanaya. Almost enough to make one's horns hurt!

TA: how diid you do iit?

AG: How? Just a few key words here and there. Perks of having my auspistice the ward of your guardian's moirail. Wow, try saying that relation 8 times fast.

AG: Does this make us pseudo-in-clade now? Or something like that? Anyway, like I was saying, it was as simple as talking a8out reminiscing a8out my martial training around Karkat and how my ashen rival would have 8enefited from such training.

AG: Seeing as Kar is allllllll sorts of enamored with your guardian, it was simple enough to su8tly encourage him to go take the idea to his guardian.

AG: I was impressed how Goatad even managed to pick the former-guardian of my own martructor to put his plan into motion.

AG: Am I good or what?

TA: iif ii had two piick iid go wiith or what or maybe ju2t that youre two lucky for your own good

AG: Oh yes I've got ALLLLLLLL the luck!

AG: Which is only a8out to grow with what you're going to do for me.

TA: and ju2t what ii2 that?

AG: Let's 8e honest here, SSSSSSSSollux. It's dangerous for someone like me to 8e so easily found 8y someone like you. I'm not equipped to prevent the things like I've pulled off with your guardian.

TA: iill be the judge of whether youve managed two protect hiim or not

AG: Are you trying to 8ack out of payment?

TA: no iim ju2t 2ayiing ii have a better under2tandiing of the 2iituatiion than you do and giiven tiime ii am a better judge of whether youve held up your end of the bargaiin or not

TA: iill 2tiill 2tart the payback now iif you want

AG: Fine. I'll accept that as part of the 8argain, though I am offended 8y your lack of 8elief. Anyway, like I was saying, I don't like 8eing found. The fact that you were a8le to is a pro8lem. Clearly you're more talented than a lot of others, so I'm going to use that.

TA: u2e that how?

AG: Make me into what they refer to me as online: a shadow. I don't want to 8e found, Captor, and I think you can do a damn good jo8 of making sure of that.

TA: and iif ii 2ay ii dont thiink that hiidiing ii2 your be2t cour2e of actiion?

AG: I'd have to roll my eyes and laugh.

TA: iim 2eriiou2

TA: ii 2aw your reactiion two telliing you about the hiierarchii2t2 attackiing cyclo2

TA: you hate them hate all they 2tand for and all they try two do ju2t liike ii do

TA: ju2t liike a lot of troll2 who2e liive2 theyve ruiined do and clearly eat2 at you that all you can do ii2 piick up the piiece2 after they break 2omeone

TA: not that you can piick up two many piiece2 ii diid more lookiing iintwo you and whiile youre doiing well enough wiith your productiion faciiliitiie2 you arent doiing 2o good that you can help two many troll2 liike you diid wiith 2aph

TA: ii thiink you want two help more troll2 hurt by the2e ba2tard2 but you are liimiited by re2ource2 connectiion2 and tiime

TA: whiile ii dont have all the re2ource2 you need ii have the connectiion2 ii have the tiime and ii have the wiill two get you what you need two do thii2 riight

TA: you can be 2tuck beiing reactiive for a few troll2 or you can let me help you and be able two help more troll2 when they really need you

TA: what do ya 2ay?

AG: That the psionics are o8viously frying your pan.

TA: would you rather deal wiith the remaiin2 of the terriible 2hiit the2e hiierarchii2t2 do or be a 2piider iin a web trappiing them iin theiir own deviice2

AG: A spider in a we8?

TA: a well connected web we could draw upon the re2ource2 of troll2 youve helped before buy up quiiet piiece2 of owner2hiip of a lot of warmblood bu2iine22e2 2o you have more fund2 two work wiith you could even briing iin tho2e troll2 youve helped that have uniique talent2 and make them agent2 who can help you fiind tho2e at rii2k and keep you iinformed of what we can fiind iirl or onliine

TA: thiink about iit

AG: Okay, I will.

TA: that2 all ii a2k

AG: Done thinking. If you've got the shame glo8es to deal with this kind of dirty work, then 8ring it. Together we can change the world.

TA: that2 all ii a2k that and a chance two get a few 2leep-cycle2 of peace

AG: Huh?

TA: dont worry you ju2t 2tiick wiith me iin thii2 bu2iine22 and iill get what ii want out of iit

AG: Why Mister Captor, this could 8e the start of a 8EAUTIFUL friendship.

TA: iit could al2o be the 2tart of countle22 panache2

AG: You're actively asking for them. You realize that, right? Getting yourself involved here is pretty dangerous. Not only for you, 8ut for your guardian. For anyone you care a8out. These people aren't what you think they are. It's way more complex than anyone realizes.

AG: I'll give you only one chance to 8ack out of this agreement, Sollux. If you still want to do this when I contact you tomorrow night, then we'll start forward. I'll tell you what I know, you'll tell me what you know, and we'll start putting irons in the fire.

TA: iim not backiing down vrii2ka thii2 ii2 2omethiing ii thiink we both have two do our rea2on2 may be diifferent or 2iimiilar but the iimportant thiing ii2 that we have them and that were wiilliing two liive for them

AG: You're a8solutely sure a8out this? I mean aaaaaaaa8solutely 8eyond any dou8ts, swear on your guardians horns, no taking 8ack certain that this is what you want?

TA: ye2

AG: Well then, I guess we have a LOT more to talk a8out than I thought. What time is it for you? Can you spare a few hours for this?

TA: iim a fuckiing reclu2iive iin2omniiac who 2ugge2ted the iidea iin the fiir2t place what do you thiink?

AG: Well then, I guess I should get you up to speed on a few things. It all started a long time ago with a fuchsia8lood named Veruna Mateas...

* * *

It's silent. Not a perfect kind of silence, not a lasting kind of silence, not even a silence he would take as a sign that things were getting better. There were still the murmurs, the pleading, even the distant keening of pain. None of that mattered. What mattered here and now was that there was silence as he rested here, curled up at the stone-feet of his guardian. No longer could he hear the pained voice of Cyclos, echoing throughout the endless landscape of the soon to be dead. It was less than a hint of a whisper now, which was more than enough for Sollux. Somehow she'd done it. She'd found a way to do something Sollux had never been able to. Vriska Serket had managed to save the life of a troll that he'd been certain was doomed. And in exchange Sollux had bound his life to hers, for as long as it took, or for as many sweeps as would be given him.

Yet for all she had done, and for all he had promised, Sollux couldn't help but find himself wondering if it had really been the right choice. How was he supposed to stand there, by her side, as she faced down a legend and the whispered rumors it had created? He'd never thought they were organized, never thought that there was something more than arrogance behind it all. How was he supposed to face this? How was he supposed to do everything he'd sworn he would?

And how was he going to be able to keep it from his matesprit and moirail?


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Notes: Why did everyone think Cyclos was going to die? Come on, if you've read BBL it is clear he survives. Though I'm not promising intact.

Doomed to Dream – Part 17

* * *

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

AG: Ssssssssollux...

User twinArmageddons is currently idle. try agaiin later jacka22

AG: Oh come oooooooon! You have got to 8e kidding me. You're doing this again?

AG: Mister Captor I hum8ly request the honor of your presence in a conversation.

User twinArmageddons is currently idle. diidnt you hear that la2t tiime?

AG: Seems like you've added a new level of snark to the response protocols. Gr8. Just what I needed.

AG: Fine. I get it. I'll 8ack off. Geez, you'd think that a guy couldn't handle giving up a few minutes of his time with his m8sprit to hear the news.

User twinArmageddons is currently idle. cant you take a fuckiing hiint?

AG: Though if your captain is there I hope you shuffle her out soon. Your guardian is due 8ack in a few hours, right?

AG: And this is going to sound weird 8ut... Please don't 8low up when he gets there. Just... Come 8ack and talk to me, okay? Things are going to 8e more complic8d than they're going to look.

User twinArmageddons is currently idle. lay off 8efore your husktop finds itself coming down with something

AG: Don't say I didn't try to warn you.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

"Your palmhusk keeps beeping," Alyssm whispered, not that she moved to let him up. Instead she stayed there, propped up on one arm, running her fingers through Sollux's hair.

"Your point?"

"It is rather annoying."

"So's talking when we should be napping."

"You are quite frustrating when you take to moodiness like this. I still believe that..."

"We both know what you think and we both know that I'm not going to listen," he countered, rolling his eyes. Not that she'd be able to see it: his eyes had long since gone solid colored and glowing red and blue.

It was a fight they'd had what felt like a thousand times over the last three perigees. Alyssm always came down on the side of the alternative medications that Sollux's thinkrapist had prescribed. Sollux had offered the pills to the psionics trainer she had sent him to, and when he'd cursed them as suppressants he'd thrown them all down the gaper. It had taken a week for them to get over that fight, but in the end she'd accepted his decision, chewed out his thinkrapist for the attempt, and dropped it. Well, she hadn't fully dropped it, not with comments like this and extensive debates over the medications, but neither of them really thought there would be a conclusion that satisfied Alyssm.

Not that anywhere near half of their disagreements ended in his favor. Alyssm won on the other things. On their not going out to dinners for their flush dates. About keeping it secret from anyone else that they were pursuing the flushed quadrant. For one thing, they hadn't managed to find a way to get around the fact that they were breaking protocols to be together. Sollux hadn't looked for a means into the private sector—the records he had access to were far to valuable to the work he'd gotten into with Vriska to pass up—and Alyssm hadn't pressed him on it.

That didn't mean they weren't serious about this. It had only taken a perigee for Alyssm to show up at the hive at almost the middle of the day, claiming business and holding out a box once she was safely behind the door. In the privacy of his own hive Sollux wore the token she'd given him, the pair of rich blue stones set into the ring coming no where near the beauty of her eyes. Sollux had given her a set of pins for her hair set with yellow stones, which she always wore around him. Most days she'd stay there as long as she could get away with, before sneaking out long before sundown so she could get prepared for work. As for Sollux, well, he stayed in the hive, just like he always had.

"It's still beeping."

"Leave it."

She didn't. It was obvious in the way that her fingers left his hair and reached for the stand next to the slab; that certainly wasn't what he wanted. Soon, far too soon, he was going to have to move, have to let her go. Cyclos was due back at the hive in several hours, returning from the first phase of filming and relocating for the next phase which would be taking place outside of Ristart. Alyssm wouldn't be able to see him as often once his guardian came into town.

"Who's Arach..."

The palmhusk all but flew out of her hand, wrapped in swirling red-blue light, and even as she half shouted, half laughed at the annoyance, Sollux lifted and hand and let the palmhusk settle into it. There weren't many parts of his double-life that he wanted running into each other, but having either Waleti or Terezi find out about Vriska was too much.

"A friend from the net. Helping me on coding that game I've been working on in my free time."

It had long since stopped bothering Sollux that thanks to his work with Vriska he had to lie to his matesprit. No doubt it had helped that in a way Alyssm was also asking him to lie about her. What still bothered him, more than he ever liked to admit, was the ease he had with lying to her these days. When had he gotten to the point where lying to her had become almost second nature? When had he gotten good enough that it worked without her thinking to question him?

Not that it was exactly a problematic lie for Alyssm. For the better part of two perigees he'd been making references to coding a game with the help of a friend. Vriska had laughed when he'd told her about the excuse he used to explain her away when he got distracted by her while talking to Terezi or Alyssm online. He hadn't thought it had been so funny; if he hadn't gone into working with the Enforcers, he'd been thinking about either being a game coder over any other type because at least that meant he could make something fun. When he was younger he'd even gone so far as to try coding out a game, but as he'd come to hate the fact that with no one else to help he had to make all of the visuals and dialog himself, it was a lot less interesting. Problem was that Alyssm and Terezi had both been asking after his work, interesting and supportive if it could get him out of the Enforcers and into the private field.

When asked he'd given them a huge hunk of rough game coding from a member of the We8 that Vriska only knew as waypointRegent but Sollux knew as an olive named Tygres who was Saph's moirail and thus felt she owed a debt of loyalty to the We8. Another member, known as gratefulDread had offered to mock up some rough visuals that Sollux could claim if it came to it. Of course from what Sollux had seen from their portfolio, it was far from 'rough' images. In fact, there had been another four trolls who had offered art, music, writing, and more coding for the cover game, and Sollux knew enough of their talents that he was actually on the edge of suggesting that the four get together with Sollux, WR and GD to make an actual game. If they could, in their spare time, make something of enough quality, Sollux could see to marketing it online as an independently created game and beyond some compensation for the creators, the funds they acquired could go to helping trolls affected by hierarchist attacks. The very idea had made Sollux start looking at the current 19 member team that was the We8 and trying to find other ways to fit their skill sets together to help the cause.

"More progress?" she asked as Sollux twisted so he could read the messages and yet still hide it from Alyssm's voice.

"No," he said, frowning at Vriska's words. "He's saying he can't help me work out a solution to a coding issue I'm having right now. Apparently his guardian is going to be in town for a few days and you know how that is."

"Of course," she agreed, finally pushing herself up into a fully sitting position. "I'm sorry about..."

"Don't," Sollux said, putting aside his palmhusk, message not fully read, to look at his matesprit. "Please don't apologize. I know better than most how important a guardian is when they are getting on in sweeps."

Almost three weeks back Alyssm's guardian had arrived in town unexpectedly, leaving Sollux in a two week period where he hadn't seen his matesprit at all. Giving her time with her guardian had been something he hadn't even begun to be annoyed over. Unlike Sollux, she hadn't been the only ward her guardian had taken; merely the youngest, and last, of a long line over the centuries. Her guardian was getting on in sweeps, just as Cyclos was, and Alyssm had made it very clear that this could well be the final time she'd ever have a chance to spend time with her guardian before his final days. But the very thought of guardians brought Cyclos's pending return to mind.

"And speaking of guardians, Cyclos returns this evening, does he not?"

Part of Sollux was excited at the prospect of his guardian's return, safe and sound, and another was annoyed that it would mean he would see a lot less of Alyssm. She had admitted when she'd arrived at the hive a few hours ago that she wasn't ready to admit their relationship to his guardian. That so long as Sollux was with the Enforcers, they had to keep their relationship as private as possible. It was frustrating, it was annoying, and it was something he'd long since accepted. Terezi didn't even pity him for it; she sided with Alyssm, and didn't even consider it a betrayal of their moirallegiance to admit to it.

"Yeah," Sollux agreed, finally moving to swing his legs over the side of the slab. "Not too long really. Going to have a surprise for me..."

The words lingered there between them. How could they not when Sollux had inflected them almost like a question. Could he possibly have a surprise for his guardian as well? It was a pointless question, he already knew the answer would be no, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to ask anyway. Someday he was going to get a yes, and that was one he was looking forward to.

"I am quite sure you shall enjoy it," she responded, stretching and then moving to slip off of the slab. "There is a stack of reports that I have to handle over the next few days, and I need to get started on it. Oh, and I'm glad to hear your guardian will be returning intact. That scare a few perigees back..."

It had been more than a scare, but Sollux didn't say it. The threat had been real, though no one knew how real it had been. Terezi had sort of believed him; Waleti had almost believed him. And yet it was the one who hadn't thought to ask, hadn't cared past the rough proof of an attack, to change the fate that his guardian had been on the course for.

"So..."

"You know I will not, Sollux. Forgive me it, but such is how I would prefer to go about this."

"I know," he mumbled in response, sitting there and watching as she made her way towards his private hygiene block.

She wouldn't linger once she was out of it. That was just the way this worked. She'd clean up, dress, give him a small kiss, slip her hair clips into her bag, and she wouldn't even let him walk her to the door of the hive. All she left behind was Sollux, her bond token, and the faint scent of the ocean on his slab.

It was easier, he had learned a while ago, to just head over to his computer and look diligent and productive than to see her leaving. So that was what he did now, fiddling around with his systems and even bringing up the chunk of raw game code and toying with it while the sound of the vertical ablution trap filled his block. He didn't want to look at it, though. He wanted to go to his palmhusk and check out Vriska's message, but he resisted. Better not to bring that up before Alyssm—Waleti—left. Then he'd be free to deal with the spider and her web spinning.

Their webspinning.

* * *

When she's gone the hive is empty, almost emptier than he's ever felt it before. Maybe it's the realization that she won't be back any time soon. Maybe it's the fact that his guardian will be back soon to fill it up with his cheer that makes it seem abandoned now.

The worst part was that he couldn't even begin to understand the messages Vriska had left him. All he could do was wait. Wait and throw himself at what work came as he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And when a sound came from out in front of the hive, Sollux all but threw himself out of his respiteblock. Didn't even bother to take the stairs, not with the way he could throw himself over the edge and let his psionics catch him and carry him down the distance. He was at the welcomeblock door before he could even hear the jingling of keys on the other side. He threw the door open, grinning, happy to have his guardian return safely.

"Cyclos!" he shouted, throwing his arms around his guardian.

"Sollux," Cyclos responded, his voice a mixture of joy and restraint. So his guardian still hadn't forgiven him for the deception. No doubt he wouldn't be too happy to find that Sollux had opted to retain his psionics after all of this.

"I've missed you," he said, unable to do anything but admit to it. Cyclos had to know, Sollux needed him to know how...

There was a chuckle from behind Cyclos, and Sollux was left staring. All it took was shifting slightly to the side to see just where it came from. A smaller troll stood there, a heavy pack on his shoulders and a travel case clenched in his hands. There was something familiar about the troll, something in the scruffy appearance, the thick sweater, and the nubby horns. More than something in the crimson tinge to his eyes.

His guardian had brought Karkat Vantas to his hive, and clearly he intended the young troll to stay for a time.

"Sollux, you remember my moirail's ward, Karkat Vantas? He dined with us that night at the Empress's palace."

With that Cyclos stepped aside and turned to look at Karkat. "Karkat, this, if you remember, is my ward, Sollux Captor. If you need anything while we're here at the hive, he can help you."

Karkat shifted his grip on his travel case and extended one hand to Sollux. There was no polite way to refuse. So Sollux took the offered hand.

He instantly regretted it. The voices normally audible only in the realm of dreams suddenly swelled up in his head. Screaming, pleading, shouting warnings that he couldn't begin to understand. All he knew was that it felt like the whole of Beforus was protesting at the very presence of this off-blooded troll. Screaming and not stopping.

They followed him down as he collapsed from the sheer force of their fury, fear, and desperation. And they followed him back down into the realm of dreams as Sollux consciousness. For now he was trapped with their wordless pleas.


	18. Chapter 18

Notes: Bet it's been a while since you saw this. What do you think of that? I've been busy.

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Part 18

It was the press of something cool and damp against his forehead that finally pulled Sollux away from the relief he'd found at the feet of the not-statue of Vriska. Well, relief might have been quite a bit of an understatement. The sanctuary of her presence in the dreamscape hadn't helped out as much as he would have wished. Instead of silence he'd found the voices still demanding of him, though quieter than before. So when he felt the touch that he knew had to be a wet cloth on the top of his unconscious head, Sollux had almost been tempted to fight consciousness for once in his miserable life. There was no guarantee the voices would release him when he awoke; hell, he was even betting that they wouldn't.

What ultimately did it was the voice, Cyclos's voice, that drew him from the relative safety of his mind. The little he heard of it was clearly concerned, clearly worried, clearly desperate to know what had happened to his ward. So, unaware of just how long he'd sheltered in Vriska's presence, Sollux let himself be called back to consciousness by the sound of his guardian's voice.

With an almost exaggerated groan Sollux opened his eyes, only for the sound to change into a growl as he caught sight of a hand that was far too small to be Cyclos's reaching for his head.

"Don't fucking touch me," he snapped at the person, who could only Karkat.

Regardless of his command the hand still inched closer to his forehead, and as it did Sollux could feel the voices starting to swell once again. It didn't take much more than that for him to be certain that if Karkat were to touch him, he might fall again into the embrace of the dream world. So, for all that it made his pan start to ache, Sollux snatched the cloth from his forehead with his psionics and flung it at the off-blooded ass.

"Hey!" Karkat yelled, but he did stumble back a few steps, taking the echoes from Sollux's pan.

"I said don't touch me," he snarled, narrowing his eyes for all that it didn't show much behind his thick shades.

"And Cyclos told me to check the cloth while he called a healthtender."

"That's Director Anders to you."

"No. It's not. Maybe it is for others, but not for his apprentice."

All he could do was stare at the self-satisfied smirk on Karkat's face and resist the urge to slam the obviously lying freak into the nearest wall with his psionics. It was a lie. It had to be. His guardian wouldn't have brought this, this asshole into their hive without asking him. Wouldn't take away the remains of what little time they had together and give it to some ass who had already fucked with Sollux's life so much even if he didn't know it.

"What? The high and mighty little Enforcer jealous that his guardian has finally found someone willing to actually learn what his guardian has to offer? Well, rest fucking assured that at least one of us actually cares about what Cyclos has to teach them. Someone who isn't so fragile that he can't even handle shaking another troll's hand."

He didn't even realize just how angry the words made him until he saw how Karkat's face almost seemed to be bathed in flickering and flaring red and blue light. Yet the fool didn't even back down from the clear displeasure and display of psionic potential. Instead the smaller troll stayed where he was, kneeling by the couch that Sollux had awoken on, his eyes narrowed in unrestrained disdain. No, not disdain... something more like resignation.

Either way, Sollux didn't much care. He already knew he wanted nothing to do with this fool. Wanted nothing to do with his guardian for his lack of explanation of what was coming. Didn't want to run the risk of the voices coming back again, threatening to overwhelm him with their voices that told him nothing but to run from this disaster waiting to happen. So he did. He sprang from the couch, wrapping himself in the full of his power as he did so. For a moment he caught a flash of shock and fear in Karkat's eyes, then it was gone as if it had never been there. Not that Sollux stuck around long to see if it would return. Instead he turned his attention to the stairs which would lead to sanctuary, and answers from the only one he thought he might actually get them from.

How long ago had it been that he'd thrown himself over the banister of these same stairs to greet his guardian? He didn't know, didn't care to think about it as he gathered the psionic energy below his feet and throwing himself up to the top of the stairs. Once there he let his anger fueled psionics carry him even further, slamming the door to his respiteblock open and letting him glide easily into his room. Only there did he let himself down from the power, his feet touching down only briefly before he turned his psionics on the next target. The door slammed once more from the strength of his powers, this time closed, and he didn't stop there. With a faint wave of his hand his slabside table lifted, cradled by red-blue light, and his bed almost shimmered as the psychic energies embraced it. It took a fair bit more effort than he'd expected to raise the slab, but it was the largest thing he'd ever tried to move. Still, while it didn't fully lift, the slab slid easily under the slabside table and into place barring the door. No one was coming in to his block without his permission.

With a sigh Sollux collapsed onto his slab and lay there, staring up at the ceiling. What was even going on?

At least he knew somewhere he could get an answer.

* * *

It took thirty minutes, quite a bit of threatening to blow up her husktop, and more than one conversation with Cyclos shouted through the door to insist that he was fine and he didn't want to be bothered. At last it was set up, his husktop set up on his slab—which was still in front of the door—Vriska had been walked through the set up procedures, and Sollux was ready as well. After a moment he actually lifted a hand, gestured towards his computer set up, and watched as a set of headphones floated over to him, cupped carefully in his psionic power. He was getting better at this. Like it or not, he was getting better.

Once the headphones were in place and plugged in, Sollux entered the limited commands he needed to so that the program would start making the connection between his husktop and Vriska's almost half a planet away. She'd willingly installed the program a perigee ago as a secondary means for communication, for the more sensitive conversations they needed to have regarding the We8. Trollian could be monitored in a way that Sollux was certain his audio-visual connection could not. After all, he'd coded the protection protocols himself. They were about as secure as anything Sollux was capable of making, and that was all he asked of them. Of course what Vriska didn't know was that they also gave him an access route to her computer. It wasn't... the most honest thing that either of them had done regarding the other, but Sollux was certain she wasn't going to notice unless he told her, and it was too important that he do it. It was a way to protect her systems, and to keep her honest. As long as Vriska thought he had sources of information that she couldn't live without, she probably wouldn't bother hiding information she thought inconsequential and Sollux knew to be vital. There was still more he needed to learn that way, especially information about this Veruna. Not that Vriska seemed to keep that stuff on her husktop.

"Well, judging from your expression I'd guess that your... surprise has shown up," was all Vriska said by way of greeting.

"What the fuck is going on?" he demanded, half snarling into the microphone and not even bothering to hide the way his annoyance made psionic energy crackle around his horns. All it earned him was Vriska rolling her eyes.

"Don't be such a little drama queen," she crooned into her own microphone, leaning closer to her camera and waving off his concern as if it was inconsequential. "I was _going _to tell you, but someone was far too busy pailing his secret matesprit to listen to me. But still, I at least tried to give you a warning, didn't I? Not my fault I had to go to work while someone was busy ignoring me and letting his snark subroutines play out. By the way, those are fucking annoying."

"So is you ignoring my question. What the fuck is going on here? What is _that _guy doing here?"

Vriska sighed, shaking her head in a despairing fashion. "I told you not to blow up over it, didn't I? I said it was more complicated that you'd understand, right? Couldn't you have held back the temper tantrum that you obviously had and just come talk to me? Sollux..."

"Just spit it out already, plot-hag."

"Don't get snippy with me, scheme-scum. This is serious. Consider it an order from your superior in the We8."

"You aren't my superior. Not by any stretch of the imagination, Vriska. This is as much my organization as it is..."

"There's been a threat."

"What?"

The confident, arrogant look on Vriska's face faded away as she moved and rested her chin on an upraised hand. It was the closest Sollux had ever seen her to looking depressed. Or concerned. Yet there on the small screen before him, Sollux could see it. Something was eating at Vriska, and he was certain it had to do with this Karkat.

"I've told you about that Calgor was getting a bit frustrated these days?"

Sollux had to wrack his pan to fish free the memory of Vriska mentioning Calgor. If he was right about the memory, Vriska had been pretty frustrated with the arrogant violet, who was prone to lashing out at any and all 'lowbloods' who crossed his path. On top of that, Vriska had more than one rough encounter with the violet; enough threats were exchanged that almost made her feel like they'd come to blows at some point in the future.

"Arrogant as fuck violet?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Though I guess most of the ones I run into these days foot that bill. Anyway, there was a meet a few days back. While we were there Calgor again raised the idea of 'cleaning up the spectrum.' Not a lot of people understood what he meant, some of the hierarchists are literally denser than iron, but Veruna did. And I sure as hell did. They want to wash out the mutation that Karkat represents. There is only so many times I can play the auspitice card before Veruna will stop holding them back. Sollux... I can't expect you to understand, but I need to keep him safe."

"And what do you expect..."

"He's been in love with quad films since we were wigglers. Your guardian was the greatest of his heroes in truth. But Spided, he wasn't having any of that. He loathed Anders, hated that a yellow could have such power and influence. For the longest time Karkat gave up that hope. It wasn't until after Spided was put away that he started to look into it again, though his passion had never faded. But I didn't do anything about it. I knew I could point it out to Goatad and see something done about it. Still, I felt he was safer if I kept him nearby. That I could protect him. But I can't anymore. I just can't. Having him here, threatened, it's too much. I need him somewhere he'll be safe. So I thought of your guardian, and his work, and Karkat. And I mentioned to Karkat how sad it was that Anders was getting on in sweeps and no one was learning from him. I..."

"You put him here in my home so I could protect him for you." It was more of an accusation than a question.

"I have to think about what is best to protect our interests."

"Your interests, Vriska," Sollux snapped. "Your interests, not mine. Do you even... Can you imagine what it's like to have an ass like him come into your hive and insist that they're better than you? That you've failed your guardian by following your own interests? No, maybe you get that last part, but you brought it on yourself. He..."

He couldn't tell Vriska about the voices. It was something he'd sworn he wouldn't do unless he really needed to. No one ever really believed him about them anyway. Sure, the Enforcers believed it when it suited them, and Terezi almost took it seriously, but...

No, he wasn't going to think about it. Wasn't going to say what he wanted to.

"I'll protect your friend," Sollux grumbled, glaring at Vriska. "From the hierarchists at least."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If he pisses me off, I promise you nothing."

"Oooo... Is that some black sentiment I see, and so soon? He's only been there for an hour. I know Karkat can piss people off, but this is impressive!"

"You wouldn't understand," he whispered, but of course the microphone picked it up because Vriska laughed.

"Oh, trust me Sollux, I understand what black feelings are like. Just don't rough him up too badly."

"I promise nothing."

"Oh... And one last thing... Kar's moirail actually lives out your way. She's doing a dig out there, and I don't think you're going to go long before she finds out about Karkat's move and swoops down upon your hive with the intent of spending what time she can steal. She knows nothing about my work, or the threat to Karkat. I'd prefer if it continued that way. Those two keep nothing secret from each other from what I understand."

"Whatever," he said. "Anything else you need, spider bitch?"

"Just to tell you to take care of yo..."

Sollux hit the disconnect button without thinking twice. How was he supposed to take care of himself when she kept throwing rocks at the glass walls of his life?


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Notes: So, here we are yet again. I ask that at the end of the chapter you don't stone me.

In other news I did manage to make it into the Ao3Auction. While I've already managed to be wowed by the efforts of some to bid upon me, and I am by no means asking for additional bids, I would encourage you to look over the offerings of authors in your various fandoms and consider bidding. It goes to a good cause. Learn more here: .com Bidding lasts until the 25th.

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Part 19

Getting the lock for his door was easy. Installing it was only slightly frustrating. The battle that arose when he suggested the idea to Cyclos was the real problem. The first time Sollux had suggested it—at dinner the night his guardian had returned with the new burden on their lives—Cyclos had done something that Sollux had never seen him do before: slam his fists on the table and actually send Sollux to his block for the rest of the day. It was more respect for his guardian than any belief Cyclos had a right to punish him for a reasonable request that sent Sollux back to his block, this time refusing the theatrics of a psionically fueled exit. Of course before the end of the day his guardian came up to apologize and say he was just taking the silly idea rather childishly.

The childishness had only continued when Sollux had insisted that he was going to do it anyway. So began a half a pergiee long guilt trip that he almost wanted to applaud his guardian for pulling off. Never before had they been at odds quite like this before, and the worst part was that Karkat almost seemed to revel in the conflict between them. Whenever a conversation turned subtly to the ongoing conflict, Sollux could see the little freak's eyes light up in a way that made it hard for him not to grab him and slam him against the nearest wall. In the end it was his concern for accidentally touching the troll skin to skin that kept Sollux from acting, because the closer he got to Karkat, the more the voices slammed themselves against the edges of his waking mind.

"You bring it on yourself," Karkat observed after one conversation at the dinner table exploded to the point where Cyclos had been the first to abandon the meal.

"No one even asked you," Sollux snapped in response, narrowing his eyes at the interloper.

"Well seeing as this is about me, I figure I've got a say here whether you want it or not."

"And what makes you think..."

"Oh come on. You really think I'm so thick panned as to not get that this is about me? Don't make me laugh, Captor. You're supposed to be some kind of genius, despite your lisp. By the way has it never occurred to you, mister so-smart, that you could have that dealt with at a fangist? No, I doubt it ever has. That would be practical, and no one can say that Sollux Captor is practical."

"You know nothing about me," Sollux snarled, trying hard to clamp down on his power. If it ever got back to Waleti or his trainer that he used his gift on another troll in anger, they'd probably pry his mouth open and shove the pills down his throat on their own. "So don't act all high and mighty and assume you have even the faintest inkling of what is going on here, wiggler."

"Okay, A, I've got nearly a sweep on you, not to mention the real life experiences to make that time mean something. Second, you started this shit the second..."

"Did you just say 'A' and then second? Geez, looks like I was actually overestimating your capabilities if you can't even get something as common as counting right. Age aside, your opinion doesn't matter here. I mean honestly, do you really think you're the first troll who has tried to fill Cyclos's shoes? No, you're just the most recent, and I'm betting you'll only last a few perigees at best. Probably more like one. Either way I bet you're out of here before filming even starts. So, frankly, it'd be best for everyone if you just kept your sniffnodes out of our business."

He expected Karkat to latch on to the idea that Sollux was certain he wasn't going to stick around. Honestly, he should have known better by now; Karkat had not yet been one to meet Sollux's expectations.

"Everyone knows that Cyclos hasn't had a trainee before."

"No, grub for brains, everyone knows the moon is pink. Everyone knows only jades can handle direct sunlight. Everyone knows Empress Gyleia is going to survive for another few centuries. Everyone _thinks _you're Cyclos's first attempt at passing on his skills."

"Prove it."

Easier said than done. Still, he wasn't going to back down from a challenge thrown by someone who couldn't even know if he'd see his next wiggling day. So, with a sigh and a roll of his eyes he rose from the table and strode out towards the entertainment block. Karkat, obviously misinterpreting the action swore rather colorfully—Sollux was certain it was something that he'd learned from the purples he'd lived with—chased after him rather quickly, almost slamming into Sollux's back as he came to a stop in front of the television. For a moment the voices swirled to a painful crescendo, and Sollux had to desperately fight to stay conscious. Then Karkat took a step back, grumbling about unpredictable douches, and his pan started to clear.

"Sit down," he directed through grit teeth. More than anything he needed distance from the freakblood, if only for his continued sanity. The voices were trying to tell him something, and for the life of him, Sollux couldn't pick it out in all of their screams for attention. Just what was it about this one troll that set the pending dead into a frenzy?

"Like hell I'm going to..."

"I said _sit down_," Sollux hissed, whirling even as he raised a hand and gave into the urge to make this invader understand his place here. Karkat's eyes went wide with something like fear; there was even a moment where he flinched as Sollux's power wrapped around him and thrust him forcefully into a sitting position on the couch. For half a moment he regretted the display of power; he could see the fear and loathing in those eyes, some echo of the abuse that was only hinted at in the public records and that Vriska had spent hours discussing in astounding detail with a terribly deadpan voice.

For a moment all he could do was stand there, staring at the look on Karkat's face, and try to find the words to apologize for what he'd done. As much as he disliked the troll, the fact that he could, even for the briefest of moments, evoke memories of Karkat's abusive ex-guardian was sickening. What troll in their right mind could abuse another like that? Even a kismesis knew just how far to take things. There was supposed to be fear, yes, but only of defeat. Fear of pain, fear of punishment, fear of a beating should only come with those black romances that tended towards physical conflict, like those of rival martructors. Where being better than your rival, where bettering yourself to overcome, was inherently tied to fighting. And even those relationships had their own safe boundaries, respect for the other even when you wanted to win, that held the members back from true sadism.

Then the look in Karkat's eyes changed, fear and loathing replaced too quickly by pure defiance and disdain. Karkat was looking down at him for the use of his power. Well, now that was interesting. From what little Sollux had heard about the case way back when from Terezi, and the greater detail Vriska had given him, this would be a new twist to Karkat's personality. Apparently something akin to subservience had almost been beaten into him. No, that wasn't quite right. The best way anyone had put it into words had been given by the third of Spided's wards, one Remium Olisar that had been the only recruit to the We8 that Vriska had actively protested.

_He... We were afraid to act out on our own behalf. We seriously believed that any act of defiance, he would find out despite our best efforts. It was worse for Karkat, but he still beat us both. Or each other. That was the hardest part for Karkat, I think. When he got really angry and defiant, Spided didn't just beat him. He... Karkat can't stand to see others hurt for his sake. I think that's part of why he tried to stop Gamzee when he attacked our guardian. It's why he didn't want to speak up. It's... He was looking out for me, Sollux. He was the only one that looked out for me. Except Vriska, but she was really careful never to let Karkat know that. He didn't know about the few times Spided hit Vriska for interrupting our punishment. Spided thought it would undermine teaching us our places, but Vriska... She didn't protect me that way. I wasn't, I'm not as strong as them. Vriska knew that Karkat would make it, that she'd find some way to help him, but me..._

Suddenly Sollux couldn't fathom why Vriska hadn't seen one of her knives between her guardian's ribs.

There was no way to apologize, not without admitting he'd seen something no troll should have ever had to see in Karkat's eyes. So instead he just let up on the psionics, turned back to the TV as if that had always been what he'd wanted to do, and opened the second of the display shelves that held all of their copies of Cyclos's movies. He didn't even need to look hard for what he was after, Sollux knew where it was like he knew the barely visible spot of slightly darker skin on his wrist that looked like a spike covered skull.

"Here, watch this," he said, tossing the case over a shoulder towards Karkat. When he heard it land in the hands of the other troll he turned away and made for the stairs, not waiting for comment.

"I've seen this one about thirty times!" Karkat shouted after him. "It's one of Cyclos's..."

"You haven't seen that one," Sollux assured him. "It's the director's cut. Just shut the fuck up and watch it. And don't bother me about this shit anymore. Just get over the fact that you don't belong here, that no one is capable of filling Cyclos's shoes, and go back to where you're actually wanted."

To that Karkat had no response.

* * *

It earned him an expected two and half hours of peace. Almost like clockwork there was a knock at his door within three minutes of how long Sollux figured it would take Karkat to watch the whole thing from start to the very end of the credits. What didn't go as expected was what he'd intended to do with that time. It would have been long enough for him to finish strengthening the security protocols on the file exchange software the members of the We8 were using. It could have given him the chance to get through the weekly rumor report that all We8 members were expected to compile. He even could have taken the chance to write a message to Waleti, who had been out of town two weeks on business and was finally due back in on an early morning glider.

Instead he has just lain there on his slab, staring up at the ceiling, and thinking about the sudden realization that the whole interchange had led him to. The realization that there was some part of him that snarled in outrage whenever Karkat looked at him in disgust or disdain. How was it that he hadn't noticed it before this? There were little details that anyone watching them—except for Cyclos who had been too caught up in their own fighting—would have pointed out before now. Well, maybe Vriska already had. Sure, she hadn't ever seen them interacting, but hadn't she already... No, that wasn't it, couldn't be it. She didn't have all of the information, hadn't realized that the dislike that Sollux had felt at Karkat's arrival had been just as much about the passing out and the voices as anything else. But now that he thought back on it, back to the first time he'd met, hadn't he disliked Karkat then too? No, dislike wasn't a strong enough word. He'd hated Karkat for the way he'd looked at his guardian, hated him even more now for it. The idea that he had the gall to step into his hive and take his guardian away was unbelievable, but Sollux's reaction to it was more powerful than was really justified, wasn't it?

Was it just the voices, or was it something more? Could it be simply because this know-nothing was coming into his life and stealing his guardian? Maybe it was an echo of fury for Terezi's sake over that whole flushed thing? That didn't make sense at all. No, Sollux had to be honest with himself: there was way more to it than that.

And so the knocking came, and Sollux did nothing to move from his slab. This wasn't the time to face the freakblood. No, Karkat. If he was going to take this seriously, think about this seriously, then it was time to start using his name. Anyway, he'd heard it said a countless number of times from sources far wiser than him: never face a potential kismesis until you had your pan on straight. There was no doubt that his pan was anything but on straight at that moment.

Except the knocking became banging. Became pounding. Became an insufferable prick shouting in addition to everything else. Not answering would bring Cyclos into the situation, and that was a confrontation that Sollux wasn't quite ready to deal with right now. Though, he supposed that if this really was going the way he was worried it was, well, he'd have a better reason than ever to justify the lock. One that even Cyclos could respect. Of course Terezi was going to give him all sorts of grief over this. Wonderful.

"Hold your fucking hoofbeasts," Sollux roared at last, throwing himself off of his bed and stomping over to the door. A quick flick of the wrist and the door was unlocked and swinging open, leaving Sollux to jump back a pace as Karkat fell forward. Were it not for the fact that king grub-for-pan almost slammed into him and set the voices screaming anew, Sollux would have laughed at the sight. As it was he stood there, as if he'd totally meant to jump back, and stare down at the fallen troll, tapping his foot impatiently.

"You meant to..."

"Whatever," Sollux cut him off. "What the fuck do you want."

"Is this just a joke to you?" Karkat demanded, quickly climbing to his feet. "Some fucking trick with your oh-so-important-computers to try and make me look stupid? How long were you working on that one for? Well guess what, you worthless crotchstained barfpuppet, I'm not falling for your shit."

"Seriously, where did you learn your shitty insults, because that one could win a retard contest," Sollux countered, resisting the urge to laugh. "You've got to be kidding me. Who even talks like this? Do you seriously kiss your matesprit with that mouth?"

"At least I've got one. Someone can actually pity me, unlike some trolls I know."

If only he knew. But no, Sollux wasn't answering that one the way he wanted. Alyssm insisted...

"Anyway, no, it's not a fucking joke. Like hell I'd joke about something I wasted half a sweep of my life on."

Karkat just stared at him, mouth agape, disbelief written so clearly on him that even a blind troll could have seen it. Or maybe smelled it. Was that even a thing? Oh well, either way it was about as obvious as the morning sun.

"No. I refuse to believe this. I will not accept that one of Cyclos Anders most famed and celebrated forays into non-comedic redroms was actually the work of a six sweep old nobody?"

"No," he said, rolling his eyes, "I'm not telling you that. You're drawing a conclusion, my words have nothing to do with it."

"I refuse to believe this!" Karkat roared again, and Sollux was certain that soon Cyclos was going to descend upon them like the king of all auspisticism and calm this the fuck down. Which, strangely enough, Sollux very desperately didn't want.

"Refuse what you like, but do it quietly so I can get some peace and quiet around here."

A brief narrowing of eyes was all the warning Sollux got before there were hands curled up in the fabric of his shirt and his pan was starting to spin from the slowly rising whisper of the voices. Not good. Very not good. Yet it didn't end there. Karkat was surprisingly strong for his size and blood color, and almost before Sollux had a chance to think about it, he found his back slammed into the far wall of his block.

"If you were capable of something like that..." Karkat snarled, actually snarled, half under his breath, "Why throw it away?"

All Sollux could do was learn his head back against the wall, trying to keep as far away from Karkat as possible, as futile as that was. That and do his best to meet Karkat's glare without flinching.

"Way I see it, you are either the greatest dumbass in the world to throw away that talent, or it's a prank you're trying to pull on me. And seeing as no one has ever even begun to hint that the ward of Cyclos Anders actually tried his hand at film making and was actually responsible for one of the most praised redroms in history, I'm betting the former. And it isn't even remotely funny."

"It's only throwing away if you actually care about not doing it. Which, point of fact, I don't. I didn't. I spent half a sweep of my life telling people what to do, turning some mindlessly staid script into something my guardian would be proud of, and you know what? When it was done, when I was all over and being shown to the producers for the final okay, you know what it felt like? What it feels like? Nothing. That's what you're getting into, Karkat. Emptiness. There is no prestige that makes it suddenly this wonderful experience, or makes it feel like you actually did something with your life. Instead you sit there at the end staring at the work you did, and it's empty. Because for all that it's up there on the screen, it's a lie. No one lives like that. Love and pity don't work like that. It's all as fake as magic and the idea that the world is a fair place. Why waste time creating something that the panless peons will praise as high art when you can make something functional. Leave something practical behind rather than an empty lie to be drunk in by the masses who don't even know what they want with their own lives?"

As he spoke he could see the rage building in Karkat. Every word, every bit of truth he'd gleaned in that half sweep that now spewed forth just stoked the fires higher. He refused to believe, or maybe he was just unable. Couldn't, wouldn't see all the pain it'd brought Cyclos over the sweeps. How every single film was just his guardian calling out for something he'd never known, and then something he'd lost. Romance was the final and ultimately fruitless call of the lonely, something Sollux had grown all too familiar with since Alyssm. It didn't matter how his pusher burned for her, she still refused to let him have what every troll dreamed of. No time together outside of the hive, no moments of content just curled together, just something urgent and physical that was no less pleasurable for the fact that when she left he felt almost empty. Yet for all he knew it, recognized it, his pusher still gave in, still had him sniffing after her like an eager barkbeast after a piece of meat.

"As for the not knowing about it... Well, NDAs are pretty common practice. Anyone speaks about it, they're in for a pretty hefty suit for infringing upon the privacy of a minor."

That, at least, seemed to click somewhere in Karkat's pan. It must have, because the way his skin crinkled around his eyes spoke volumes to Sollux, spoke of determination mixed with fury.

"I won't lose to someone who doesn't even understand the value of what his guardian does," Karkat growled, a dangerous kind of sound that went straight to Sollux's spine and made him tremble in a way that he didn't hate.

Then, without warning, there were lips against his own, scalding hot and forceful and the very contact making the voices scream out with renewed fury that he listen to them, that he understand, that he act.

_SOLLUX!_

The sound of his name cut through the other voices and his pan like a hot knife through butter. There was only one voice that he knew that said it like that, and hearing it mixed with the voices of the pending dead, rising above it, demanding his focus, was the only thing that kept him conscious despite the barrage of the other voices. It was what pushed him to slam Karkat with the weakest wall of power he could manage in that instant—which still sent the other troll stumbling back several paces. Yet even with the space between them renewed, with the recession of the other pleas, the voice lingered, repeating his name in a mantra punctuated by sobs.

_I'm sorry..._

As suddenly as it came, Alyssm's voice was gone, and Sollux fell to his knees. Never before had he heard her voice so much as whisper among the soon to be dead. She had countless centuries before her. He was supposed to be the one that failed their bond. He was supposed to be the reason it ended. It was supposed to be him, the fragile yellow of his veins doomed to separate them, to keep them from truly connecting on a level that he'd always wanted. Hers was supposed to be the only voice in his life he'd never have to hear.

Yet as he knelt there, staring at but not seeing the familiar dark green of his carpet, Sollux knew he'd never hear it again. Not in the dreamscape, or the waking world.

"Alyssm," he whispered to himself, falling further forward so that his forehead pressed against the carpet that his hands now tangled themselves into.

"Alyssm," he repeated, as much a denial as it was a painful admission.

"Sollux..." Karkat's voice cut momentarily through the grief.

"ALYSSM!"

As he threw back his head to scream at the ceiling Sollux only barely noticed Karkat reaching out, his hand shaking nervously, to touch his cheek. The scalding touch barely had a chance to register before darkness rushed forth to embrace him. And for once the darkness was truly complete, reaching out to wrap around his mind with something he'd never known before: the sweet relief of pure, unadulterated, unmitigated unconsciousness.


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Notes: So... I'm sorry I've been pretty much gone for a while. Things have gotten complicated in my life. The complication is fading and it's allowing me to get some work done. This is an example of that work. Enjoy the chapter, and I'll be back as soon as possible to give you more.

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 20

There was something utterly unnerving about waking up when he didn't remember going to sleep. Nor did it help that his eyes barely had time to open before his body registered that he wasn't where he had been second before. Instead of being on the floor he found himself stretched out on his slab. When had that happened? All he remembered was Alyssm's voice, his rage and pain, and falling. After that there was nothing. Were it not for the fact that he was on his bed, he would have thought his eyes had been closed only a second. None of this made any sense.

"He's waking up," Karkat shouted, and the sound of his voice made Sollux want to snarl. Yet when the light touch that brushed across his brow didn't set the voices screaming, he knew it had to be Cyclos at his side.

Except when he opened his eyes fully he found himself not staring up at Cyclos's familiar golden gaze, but the eyes of a green with a distinctly yellow cast to the shade. A limeblood, there, in his own room. The very idea of it made his skin crawl, and instinct made him slam his eyes closed, as if that would protect him from her power, or keep her from noticing his eyes.

"Sollux!" Cyclos reprimanded him for his reaction from somewhere across the room. That didn't make him willing to open his eyes, though. "I'm sorry, Miss, he's usually more open panned than this."

"You failed to inform me that your ward was a psionic, Mister Anders. You are well aware of..."

"Your oath as a healthtender to treat all ills presented to you regardless of origin, blood, color, economic standing, quadrants, or age? Yes, I am well aware of that."

"Sir, I suggest that you calm yourself..." the lime started, her voice eerily smooth and calm.

"Don't speak to me in that tone. And aren't you expected, as a healer, to protect your charges from any harm you might cause them? I would expect you to replace your ocular correctives immediately," Cyclos insisted, maintaining a righteous fury that Sollux applauded him for in the face of the passive powers of a limeblooded troll. From what Sollux understood, the very fact that his guardian had held his anger up so well before a lime was impressive; most warm bloods were putty in the hands of a lime, and even cold bloods were drawn to them and their pacifying presence in ways that were hard to explain. In the lifetime of Empress Gyliea's predecessor a substantial group of limes decided that Beforus would function better under the passive psychic ability limes had to pacify and even seduce other trolls to their wills.

It hadn't helped that plenty of limes had joined the movement, including some with active psychic powers that took frightening forms such as bending the very elements of the world around them to their will. Nothing like a troll who unconsciously exuded peace rays from their eyes and pheromones who could also electrify a troll with a thought. These days the positions limes could take and places they could live were carefully managed for the sake of other trolls around them. None were ever allowed before the fuchsias for the safety of the coldest bloods was the least sure before limes.

Those who lived around other blood colors were expected to wear protective lenses over their eyes to keep other trolls from looking in to their eyes too deeply and opening themselves to the unconscious seduction of a lime's powers, and that didn't even account for the chemicals their clothing was to be doused in to counteract their pheromones or the training they had in speech to break up the instinctive hypnotic rhythms. There were few things so dangerous to a troll's independence as a limeblood—whose very presence could create an addiction in the unwary. Even fewer things were considered such a threat to trolls with psychic powers, in part because history had not forgotten the dislike and distrust limes seemed to have for psychically gifted trolls in general, and psionics in particular. This was due in no small part to the fact that a team of psionics and purplebloods gifted with the emotion reshaping magic unique to their blood had worked against the lime movement. With the purpose the purples imprinted into the pans of the psionic trolls, they had been able to round up the lime leaders and restrain their powers with minimal loss of life or pan. Of course it had led to centuries of ongoing bitterness between limes and psionic trolls. The fact that his guardian had turned to a limeblooded healthtender meant he must have been desperate indeed. Desperate and scared of what Sollux might do when he awoke, seeing as lime healthtenders were only assigned to potentially violent or dangerous patients or pantalcases.

"This is proper procedure for a case such as you have presented to me," the strange troll informed Cyclos, her voice so soothing that Sollux could feel his own pan starting to haze over. It was a sensation he didn't like at all.

"Put on your damn gear or I swear I'm going to darken both of your eyes with my fucking fists."

The fury in Karkat's voice was amazing to Sollux, piercing even through the haze in his mind. How was the mutantblood able to stay so angry in front of a lime? Was there something in his mutation that made him resistant, or maybe flat out immune, to limebloods? Either way the threat seemed to take because Sollux could hear his guardian let out a half-relieved sigh.

"Forgive me. It was my assumption that by requesting my assistance with your war you were afraid of what he might do upon awakening. Such concerns require my behavior in certain manners. I believed you well appraised of this, and in the face of your ward's fall into full indulgence of his psionics..."

"I'm an Enforcer!" Sollux hissed at the unseen lime. It was so much easier to direct his rage at something he could see, but he wouldn't risk looking at the lime even with his lenses on. "I've been trained to manage and use my ability for the good of the public."

"As have I," the lime soothed—there really was no better term for it—at him. "But clearly my presence here is causing more aggravation than advantage. I believe I shall take my leave at this time."

"You haven't figured out what is wrong with him yet," Karkat snapped.

"Nor shall I manage to do so to your satisfaction, I believe," the lime insisted and Sollux breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the troll stand and move away from his slab. It almost felt like he could think more clearly the further away he heard the troll move. Still, he waited for the sound of the door closing behind two sets of feet before he opened his eyes. All he saw when he looked around was his guardian looking a bit dazed as he stood by Sollux's mainframe pieces pile. Well, that was no good. Quickly Sollux turned to drag his windows open so fresh air could draw the lingering scent of the lime out of the air of the room, and was only stopped short of yanking his window covers free by an alarmed shout from Cyclos.

"It's midday, Sollux!" Cyclos warned him. "You'll blind yourself if you do that!"

Sollux froze with his hands on the rich red fabric. Midday? That made no sense. It wasn't even dawn, right? Waleti was supposed to have been... Alyssm...

"No," Sollux found himself saying as he tugged at the fabric in his hand. He refused to believe what his pan was telling him. Refused to believe any of it. "You're wrong."

"Sollux..."

"No!" he shouted, pulling only until the fabric came far enough back for a spot of too bright light to pool on his slab coverings. Instinct as much as denial made the fabric fall from his fingers and slip back in to place. It wasn't possible, and yet the proof was right there. How could so much time have passed without him knowing? It just wasn't possible.

"Sollux, please I'm worried. Karkat came running to tell me you were screaming and then passed out. He looked terrified. I had to find a healthtender who was willing to come out so close to morning."

"And you chose a lime?" Sollux asked, half exasperated. "Everyone knows how they feel about psionic trolls. You..."

"Were concerned about my ward. There need not be logic in that. Sollux... What happened?"

Waleti... No, Sollux wasn't going to think about it right now, and wasn't going to talk about it ever. There was something far more important that had to be done first. He had to get in to the office. Midday or not, that was what had to come first.

"Um, Mister Anders?"

Sollux froze halfway through climbing off his slab, shocked by the intrusion of the new, undoubtedly female voice that was decidedly not that of a limeblood. Why was there yet another stranger in the hive, much less one willing to invade the former sanctity of his block without someone inviting her? Cyclos most have read his distress and confusion as he moved quickly to the door of the block. When it closed behind his guardian, Sollux did not hesitate to take the chance to start changing into his uniform. As much as he hated wearing the thing, the standard issue enforcer solar protection garb was of the highest quality. It would be necessary to get to the division this time of day.

As he dressed he heard the voices beyond his door whispering frantically, Cyclos seemed against whatever the female wanted, not that Sollux really cared. His pan was focused on how he had lost so much time. He had been unconscious? He'd heard other trolls talking about 'blacking out' before, but it had never made sense to him. Even when he'd 'fainted' he'd fallen into his dream realm, so this was beyond confusing. Maybe the shock of Waleti's death had temporarily separated him from his power. Who knew? Not like speculation would answer anything anyway.

"I'm going in to the office," he announced as the door to his block opened. He wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Don't you think that's a little reckless in your condition?"

Again Sollux froze at the female's voice. Who...?

"Who are you?" he demanded at last, turning to face the unwanted invasion into his life. What he found was a female that looked to be about his own age, her maroon eyes full of obvious concern. What gave her the right to be concerned about him? They'd never met before, for all that he was certain that he had seen her. The curling of her horns and the way her hair fell down her back in thick waves was familiar. Why was that?

"Aradia," Cyclos's voice not quite whispered from the hall as the maroon made her way into his block. That explained the rough familiarity This was, or so Vriska had informed him, Karkat's moirail. She was a trained and successful archeologist working in the area, and a talented telekinetic in a pinch. Her moirallegiance with Karkat had begun when she had saved him from a hierarchist attack encouraged by Vriska's guardian.

Aradia raised a hand to wave Cyclos off, and, oddly enough, he obeyed. Or, at least, he didn't move to stop Aradia from moving to sit on the edge of Sollux's slab.

"My name is Aradia Megido. I'm a friend of Karkat's. I was planning on visiting and spending the day, and arrived shortly after your attack."

"Congratulations. What an interesting story! You should write a book. In fact, start on that now. I'm sure Karkat has some paper you can use. Don't worry about me, I'll read it when you're done. In the mean time, I've got things to do that don't involve dealing with..."

"I don't think you're being rational about this, Sollux. You're being far too impulsive. Yet another reason you should just take the medication."

"What did you say?" he asked, his words barely audible to himself.

"You may not like Grisok, but he knows what to do in an emergency like this, and won't hesitate to call you when it's safe to come in, even if he thinks your powers are made up. At times like this even the most traditional Enforcers will use nontraditional tools."

It wasn't what she said, or the references to things she shouldn't have been able to know that made Sollux stumble toward the maroon in a daze. It was smaller things than that. It was the tilt to her head. The way her hand came to push her bangs from her eyes. It was the strong, confident, and yet sad look on her face. It was the specific word choice, the way her voice rolled the words, even the way she looked at him with such pity. The voice was this maroon's, but the rest of it was entirely...

"Alyssm," he gasped out, and found himself all but falling as he rushed to her side. There was no explanation, rational or otherwise, for his certainty. All he knew was that he was certain, and when he fell to his knees before her, tears flowing freely down his face, her hand brushed over his cheek in a way only Waleti's ever had before.

"It's not your fault. No one could have foreseen this, Sol. Please don't blame yourself. You'd kill yourself with the grief if you did."

"I should have known," he said, burying his face in the strange troll's shoulder and trying on some level to figure out why she smelled of dust and leather rather than the sea salt tang he knew Waleti's hair to smell so heavily of. "I am supposed to know."

"We've never known your power to tell you about some one so distant. Nor did it help that I changed gliders at the last moment. And before you ask, not for your sake. I wish it was, but work came first."

"Always does with you," he mumbled into her shirt. "It always does. Why couldn't you have..."

"Please, let's not think about what could have been. Put that behind you, my sweet Sollux. Put it all behind you. You're young and have so much life left to you. Remember me, but don't let that hold you back. Tell them to bury me with my clips. And Sollux, for your own sake, put away the ring and don't let it weigh you down. Those are my final wishes for you. Other than catching the ones who did this, of course. Can you do that for me?"

"No," he whimpered into the shoulder that felt far too bony. "Please don't ask me this."

A pair of calloused hands pulled his face from his shoulder and tilted it so he could look up into the maroon eyes that Waleti hid behind. The tears he found on her cheeks echoed his own, but the red shade was almost more reinforcement of the truth than he could handle.

"Promise me," she repeated, with the force of command that only Waleti could possess.

All he could do was nod his assent weakly and try to keep from sobbing.

In the end it was the press of lips that were hot rather than chill that tore the sob from him. Waleti was gone, and as he felt the maroon slowly pull away, he knew the echo of her was gone as well. He was alone with a stranger, confusion, and his grief.

"Sollux, why the ever loving fuck are you kissing my moirail?"

Or maybe not as alone as he suddenly wished he could have been.

* * *

"The Psychic Registry refers to the rarer of my two abilities as communing with the dead," Aradia said between sips of her caffeinated refreshment. "I personally prefer to call what I can do mediumship. Strikes me as a far friendlier term."

As if Sollux cared what she called it. All he wanted to understand was just how this troll had managed to speak to him as Waleti, to know things she couldn't and shouldn't have known. Instead he was here, sitting in the food preparation block with his guardian, Karkat and the girl named Aradia, sharing mugs of caffeinated refreshment while Aradia tried to explain what had happened. He was torn between learning as much as possible as fast as possible and being terrified by the prospect of her finishing. From the way Cyclos kept looking at him it was quite clear that there would be a glorified session of the ask-a-number-of-questions-to-learn-irrelevant-info rmation-not-related-to-you game. The last thing he needed with the loss of his matesprit so fresh in his pan was for his guardian to interoxamine him about her. Still, he sipped slowly at his drink and listened to Aradia's almost cheerful explanation of her power.

"What it means is that I kind of note a difference between my power and the last recorded similar ability, which was about a century ago. That troll, I did research on him, only really spoke to the dead. I am capable of quite a bit more. I can allow spirits to manifest before other trolls with a bit of force. The hardest and most draining for me is directly opening myself to a spirit. I welcome their consciousness into myself, and become them for a time. I know things they knew, I feel things they felt. I even get a bit of their mannerisms. The major difference is that manifested spirits experience less emotions. They are true shadows incapable of lies. Opening myself to a single spirit allows them to experience emotions on a wider scale, allows them to touch, act, sense, and even lie. I remember it all of course, even the lies, and no small part of their memories linger in my pan as well. As draining as it is, there is little that can compare to the kind of awareness of others it gives me."

"So you're saying you have some pieces of that troll that made you kiss Sollux still lingering in your pan?" Karkat demanded, slamming his mug on the table. It took a lot for Sollux to resist pointing out that Karkat could hardly complain when he too had kissed him. Things were already too complex without adding that potential pan-ache to the list.

"Not much," she said, shaking her head. "She's the coolest blooded spirit I've dealt with, and her pan, her memory, her emotions melted away faster than others I've touched in this way."

"Have you done this often?" Cyclos asked.

"Not the sharing. I'll admit that the talking to spirits is really helpful in my line of work. I can learn so much about the ancient troll cultures that I study when I can find lingering spirits to connect with. The dead don't seem to have the language barrier issues you would expect. They are very talented at..."

"Aradia," Karkat said, his voice a mix of fondness and annoyance.

"Sorry. Anyway, I've managed to help people through mourning or to learn something about loved ones through manifestation before. I've also been called upon once to provide testimony to a legisticator about an accidental death that was being investigated as a murder."

Sollux's head came up so fast that he could actually feel a sharp pain in his neck. Testimony? Did that mean...?

"Do you know how Alyssm died?" he found himself asking, his voice desperate.

The nearly cheerful look on Aradia's face melted away, replaced by a look of pure concern. "Didn't she tell you to move on? To not let her death be a burden?"

"She told me, with your voice, to catch the people responsible. I intend to do so."

With a sigh Aradia closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath. By the time she released the breath and looked up at him, her eyes almost looked like they had clouded over with a deep mist, giving her eyes an almost solid white cast to them. Somewhere in his gut the sight of her eyes like that terrified him, but in his pan it was easy to take in stride. After all, hadn't his own eyes changed from the use of his power?

"There was an explosion. No. Two," Aradia said, her voice flat, almost completely devoid of emotion. That was far more unnerving than her eyes, seeing as she'd been so expressive these last few minutes. "They were in the propellant turbines. Waleti saw one from her window and knew the chances of survival were low. Her final thoughts were sabotage and how she would never see her matesprit again."

"Did she see anything out of the..."

"It would be easier to run through the usual battery of questions at the division head quarters, she says. I believe she has reached the logical conclusion that you have. And I will abide by her will and cooperate with the Enforcer examination of the incident," Aradia said, her voice growing more spirited as the white fog faded from her eyes. "Your Captain and the other twenty-three trolls on board wish to help see justice done. Who am I to deny them?"

"A troll with the right to control her own pan and life!" Karkat insisted, clearly annoyed. "Aradia, who knows if the Enforcers here will be any more intelligent than those in Capitol."

"I have to try," Aradia said even as Sollux insisted that, "Her ability will be invaluable."

"Karkat," Cyclos added, a soft look in his eyes, "there is a time to protect moirails, and a time to support them. This is the latter."

It was quite clear that Karkat didn't agree from the scowl he wore, but he was silent, which was all Sollux could have asked for.

"How do the spirits find you?" he found himself asking, but when he did he knew it was a good question. The fact that Aradia happened to be in a place to help him at just the right time and somehow managed to find the spirit of Waleti so soon after her death... It was almost too convenient, or as Vriska would say it, totally lucky.

"To be honest? Most of my life I've just seemed to arrive in places with perfect timing. I walked into the courtyard where Karkat was being attacked before he was too seriously hurt. I found boulders to protect us from the sun when we needed them. I..."

"She's just got dramatic timing in her blood," Karkat sighed. "Thank the Empress she isn't a romcom character. She'd be the one who arrives just in time to hear something and totally misconstrue everything in the most frustrating way ever."

"I think this Waleti's final thoughts must have been on you, because I could feel her the second I entered the hive. Her spirit was frantic with concern in a way I've only found in spirits concerned for their quads. When Karkat explained what happened I figured you were the one the spirit was looking for. When I asked her she was confused by my power but glad to take advantage of it. She said she felt your ability may have made her death traumatic for you, and asked if I could pass a message. That was all I did."

"Her spirit just found you?"

"They all did," Aradia admitted with a laugh.

"All?"

"There were twenty-three other trolls who died with Waleti, Sollux. I think they followed her when she came to find you. They all want to pass messages to loved ones. I've made them agree to testify to Enforcers before I'll take down their messages. Some don't like it, but they accepted the deal anyway."

"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me, Aradia! That will take nights! You came here to visit me and now you're going to spend the whole time in some interoxamination block instead? Are you addled in the pan?" Karkat demanded, and Sollux couldn't help but smirk. He'd have to remember how frustrated and angry Karkat got over losing time with his moirail.

No sooner had the thought hit him than Sollux found himself upset by it. His matesprit dead not even a day and instead of going to his moirail to deal with with the feelings, he was contemplating a potential black relationship and stepping between a troll and their moirail. A moirail that less than an hour before he had been crying on before kissing. This was no way to deal with the situation. Maybe TZ and Waleti had been right; maybe he did need to be medicated.

"Karkat, this is hardly the time to..." Aradia started to say, only to be cut off by an outburst from Karkat.

"No. This is the time to! You kissed him, even if another troll made you do it. You were practically papping his cheeks, Aradia!"

There were few things more embarrassing to watch than a moirail meltdown. What happened between rails stayed between rails. There was no privacy that was as sacred and protected by society and law than pile privilege, even after a diamond was broken. So to see the way the two were talking now, the way Aradia was trying to reach for Karkat's hand and he was refusing the touch... It felt wrong.

"Kar..."

"Don't call me that! I hate it when you call me that!"

When Cyclos placed a hand on Sollux's shoulder, he actually found himself thankful for the awkward conversation that clearly had to come next. It would still be better than watching a pale implosion like was going on in front of him. It was awkward and made him long for TZ. Still, as Cyclos gestured that they leave, Sollux gladly followed him out of the food prep block and into the entertainment. There was only a moment to get comfortable on the couch before Cyclos asked two questions that Sollux wasn't ready to answer.

"What is this ability Aradia is referring to, and what is this about a matespritship?"

Sollux sighed. There were conversations in a troll's life that they wanted to avoid. The problem was that you couldn't run from them forever.

"I guess I'll start with the first one. It's kind of necessary to explain the second. You better be comfortable, because this could take a while."


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Notes: Did you miss me? I was in Hawaii, getting engaged like a boss. But I'm back, recovered, and throwing myself at this story like a boss. I'm a boss. Yeah... Also, if you like homestuck sprite edits, pop over to my tumblr (username mercale) and check under my master fic list to see some sprite edits of canon and OC trolls of this series. Or head over to deviantart (ladymercale) for the same stuff. Enjoy.

* * *

**Doomed to Dream – Part 21**

The call came in an hour or so before sunset. Grisok had been frantic, confused, and ready to condemn Sollux for not seeing it coming. It had taken the better part of an hour for Sollux to convince him that he had known it only when it had happened, and that he hadn't rushed in to report because he has passed out. Another half an hour went to explaining the whole situation regarding Aradia. By the time Grisok ordered him in and to bring the 'ghost girl' with him, the sun had fully set and Cyclos was laying breakfast out for everyone.

That had been ten hours ago, and with nothing but terrible caffeinated beverage to pose as a meal, his stomach was bring far from subtle about its needs. It had been a particularly loud grumble that triggered the spirit possessing Aradia to giggle insanely that had gotten him sent from the interoxaminationblock. How Grisok and Aradia were still going at the interviews of those killed in the crash after all this time was beyond him, but he hadn't help up as well as them. So, given the order to fetch new caffeinated beverages for the two and the implied order to eat, well, Sollux was almost happy for the excuse to leave. More than answers, more than revenge, more than hope, Sollux needed food.

"Sollux Captor! I demand you show your lisping, cross-eyed face now!"

No. He needed sleep, because there was no way in the world that he could be hearing that voice here and now.

"You let me back there this instant! How dare you try and stop me? What is your badge number? I will report you to Generali Kythal and don't you doubt me. I have connections!"

It wasn't possible, and yet Sollux found himself making his way toward the front desk where the voice was undoubtedly coming from. It wasn't that far, but it wasn't exactly close either, which meant that the girl who was still shouting at whoever Grisok had put on the desk had her voice more than lifted. It reminded him of... no. It still wasn't possible. And yet, when he came to the end of the hall that dumped him into the entranceblock, there she was, looking like a vengeful angel. Well, except for the wings, he found himself thinking. She had the fearsome and fury filled expression down, though.

"Sollux!" Terezi shouted, and became a red blur rushing past the clearly off-put Enforcer. All he could do was watch wide-eyed as Terezi put her hands against the top of the swinging half-door and vaulted over it rather than spending the seconds it would take to push through it. The tails of her crimson and teal suit flowed out behind her in a most impressive fashion as she leapt and landed, and then there was no time to think as her arms were around him, almost crushingly strong.

"Need... breathe..." he gasped out as her arms tightened, which seemed to be just enough to get his moirail to slack off in the embrace.

"Yo, Captor, ya alright man?" the Enforcer at the desk asked, though the way he said it made it clear he didn't care so much as felt it was his duty to ask.

"Moirail," he said by way of explanation. "Got a..."

"Ain't seen no one in the breakblock. Head there. I'll warn people off. Put something on the knob, okay?"

Sollux nodded and wiggled himself out of the too-tight grip Terezi had on him. She seemed less than impressed by his escape, but when he grabbed her hand and dragged her off down the hall, she let it slide. For a moment he hesitated as they came abreast of the interoxaminationblock door, but Terezi didn't seem to notice as he pulled her with even greater force toward the breakblock at the end of the hall. Once inside he grabbed the only thing that really worked, a handful of paper towels, and wrapped them around the handle. By the time he had the door closed behind him, Terezi had moved a table and some chairs, pulled the cushions off of the couches, and made a serviceable pile for them.

"TZ, what are you doing here!?"

"Where the hell else am I supposed to be when my moirail's matesprit dies in a freak skyglider accident?" she countered, making it sound like her arrival was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Maybe in her hive instead of scaring him by admitting that she'd been on a skyglider shortly after his matesprit died from sabotage!"

The way Terezi's eyes went wide and her hands came up to almost cover her gaping mouth—a clear sign of genuine distress—told him that she hadn't known. Hadn't put two and two together. Which almost made sense when he thought about it; gliders from Capitol to Ristart weren't frequent with how small the city was compared to other population centers, and Terezi must have sought out a glider the second she learned of Waleti's presence on the doomed glider. Or maybe she'd known what flight Waleti had been on and when she heard of the... No, speculation was pointless when he could just ask.

"Sabotage? Oh geez, I hadn't heard that. When did the Enforcers come to that conclusion?"

The answer was complicated, so terribly complicated, and if it hadn't been for his talk with his guardian earlier, he might not have known where to start. As it was, Sollux found himself drifting over to the pile and collapsing onto the cushions beside Terezi. She, though, was far from content with that positioning. With a gentleness that bespoke concern for her moirail, Terezi slowly coaxed him into turning lengthwise so he could rest his head in her lap. Once that was done she bent over to kiss his forehead before nodding and starting to run her fingers through his hair in a comforting manner. She was ready to listen. And Sollux, as he had been earlier, found himself more than ready to talk.

He didn't know how long he was there, admitting things to Terezi that he hadn't been able to say to his guardian or the spirit of Waleti looking out through Aradia's eyes. In the face of Terezi's soothing silence he mentioned how painful it had been to have Waleti kiss him with the maroon's lips, how confusing, and how in the interoxamination block he'd had a hard time not thinking of this stranger in a flushed way. Because all he could remember was the love and pity looking out from her eyes and how she had stroked his cheek, and how she had refused to let things be awkward between them, for all that Karkat had tried to make it so. There Terezi had actually interrupted him to chuckle, admitting that sometimes Karkat was really good at making things difficult. That had been enough to prompt Sollux to admit how he'd heard Waleti's voice, and the incredulous look Terezi had given him had been one he was certain he'd remember for the rest of his life. When he'd asked her why Terezi had admitted that she had been certain that the only one Karkat could hate with a burning black passion was himself, and admitted how relieved she was to find him looking at someone else with such loathing, even if it was her moirail that she couldn't understand anyone hating ever.

"She came to see me..." Terezi said when he trailed off at last.

"What?"

"Waleti came to see me when she was in Capitol. Apparently she is... She was the old fashioned type. She... Wanted to ask me, as your moirail, for the right to officially pursue you as her matesprit. I told her I knew about the token and she said she wanted to do a public declaration ceremony and all that. Wanted my help to..."

Sollux had never leapt from the arms of his moirail so fast. Here and now, when he had just about stopped himself from thinking about it in the terms of it being his matesprit. The immediate pain had been pushed back into some small corner of his pan, where he didn't have to think about it, didn't have to admit it, didn't have to feel the pain. And she'd gone and made it all pressing again. Felt it all welling up around him. As he started to cry Terezi gently took his shades away and stroked his hair anew, whispering calming nonsense into his ears.

It wasn't until he heard her shooshing fade away that he opened eyes he hadn't remembered closing. When he did, there was little he could do but curse himself as he looked around the stark black and white and gray of his dreamworld. He hadn't even noticed that he was crying himself to sleep. That, of course, was due to the fact that he found himself curled up at the all too familiar feet of the stony form of Vriska Serket. With a sigh he pushed himself into a sitting position, staring up at Vriska's arrogant smile as he did so. What was it about her presence that silenced the voices of this place? He had a few theories, but there was no way to test them. His pet theory this perigee was that the voices were silent around her because she was at the center of something, some kind of changing swirl of fate that made even the soon-to-be-dead hush their voices to avoid her notice. But there was really no way to know.

"I shouldn't be here," he whispered, to himself, to Vriska, to the dreamscape. Slowly he came to his feet, careful not to bump his head on Vriska's outstretched arm. Once he was standing he rested his hand on Vriska's stone cold arm and sighed. "Thanks for protecting me, but I can't do this anymore. What if being here was what kept me from knowing this was coming? I might have been able to save her if..."

He couldn't bring himself to say it. In truth, he was pretty sure that it wasn't his fault, or at least that blaming himself would set Waleti yelling at him like there was no tomorrow. Not that there was one for her, but it was the thought that mattered. At last he pulled his hand away from Vriska and took a step forward. Far away, on the very edges of his perception, there were the beginnings of whispers. With another step they grew louder. Yet another and they were almost as loud as he'd ever known. At last he stood free of Vriska's shadowy influence, and the voices were back in full. Somewhere in the distance he could hear his guardian whispering on, but Sollux found his attention turning elsewhere as he heard a now familiar voice far closer than he'd expected.

For all the times he'd rested at Vriska's feet, all the days spent here avoiding what his gift offered, he'd never found himself really taking in the rest of the area. This was one of the most cluttered areas in the dreamscape, and he'd never looked into the faces of the other trolls here. But at the sound of Aradia's soft voice whispering on the lowest level of his awareness, he found himself really taking the place in.

They stood in a circle, twelve trolls whose expressions almost seemed to show them as aware of each other. It was almost scary, how many of the faces he knew, that he recognized. Directly to Vriska's left stood the all too familiar face of his own moirail. Terezi's expression was one of self-satisfaction mixed with concern. Unlike Vriska, who was reaching out, Terezi was resting her hands together on an odd, dragon headed cane that Sollux had never before seen her with. For a minute he stood there, staring at the thing, wondering just what it meant for his moirail down the line. Would she be hurt in her line of work? Sometimes legisticators worked actively at the side of enforcers, coming into the sorts of dangers that only enforcers normally took upon themselves. But how would it happen? Did this mean that he was meant to pull her into Vriska's We8? After all, she was standing at Vriska's side, didn't that mean something? Or maybe it didn't considering the fact that they hated each other in a way that needed Karkat between them to pacify both.

The face on Vriska's right was a familiar one as well, though Sollux only recognized him from the horns and glasses. Here was Equius Zahhak, the matesprit of the heiress. Even more confusing, next to him stood a troll that Sollux had seen at the party the Empress threw, the purple blooded Gamzee Makara. To his right stood Eridan Ampora, and next to him, the Heiress herself. How was it possible that he saw those four trolls in the same place as his moirail and fellow conspirator? Nor did the question and familiar faces end there. Next to the Heiress stood the source of the familiar voice, the young and beautiful Aradia Megido. Beside the infuriated look worn by the Heiress, the way that Aradia was smiling gently and pushing some hair back over an ear bespoke serenity. Yet there was also a hardness in her eyes; determination that Sollux couldn't explain.

At her side was a troll with long horns that Sollux had never seen before, and could not explain the presence of and so Sollux looked past him and met the gaze of a troll he'd promised himself to never seek out in this place. He met the stony gaze of his own eyes for only half a second before raising his hand to touch the frozen form of himself. Yet as his fingers came close to the stone there was a spark of red-blue energy, and Sollux found himself thrown back, right into the middle of the circle. Well, that was an experiment he had no intention of repeating, he decided as he tried to shake the numbness from his arm. Instead of advancing back toward the ring of the gathered trolls, he continued looking around the circle, and met another set of eyes he hadn't wanted to find. Karkat's perpetual look of anger was replaced here by a kind of tiredness that went bone deep, a tiredness that Sollux was more than passingly familiar with. Unfortunately just looking at the tired crimsonblood made the sound of the voices grow, and so Sollux turned his attention to the next troll in the circle, this another unfamiliar face that he guessed had to be of an olive blood from the purrbeast style horns and the tail her statue wore. The circle finished with the elegant form and dark expression of a troll he'd only ever seen once in passing, Vriska's matesprit Kanaya Maryam.

When he opened his mouth to demand answers of the still forms, he instead found his eyes opening into darkness cut by only a sliver of light as the breakroom door closed behind someone. It only took half a second to realize that his moirail was gone, had left him lying on the pile of cushions she had gathered for them.

"Fuck, Terezi, why did you..."

"Why did I what?" her voice came from the door, causing him to flinch. There were footsteps, and soon enough she was in front of him, bathed in the steady red-blue glow of his eyes. Oddly enough she looked almost more beautiful than he'd ever known her to be in that light. All of the sharp edges and corners that seemed to characterize the features of cool bloods were softened in the way the blue wash over her, while the red made the yellow of her eyes stand out, even as it washed out the color of her pupils to make them look more like hard steel than rich teal.

"Are you okay, Sollux? You're looking at me a bit weird."

Quickly Sollux shook his head and smiled up at his moirail. Or at least, he tried to smile. He was pretty sure from Terezi's expression that it hadn't worked well.

"How long was I out?"

"About an hour. I've got some broth and noodles I can make for you. Your stomach was making noises."

Food? Oh yes, that was what he'd been on his way to get when he'd heard Terezi's voice. But it wasn't the only thing, was it?

"Fuck!" he shouted, jumping to his feet so quickly that Terezi actually fell backwards getting away from the unexpected motion. "I was supposed to get caffeinated beverages. Um, TZ, hold that thought, okay? I've got to..."

"I already did it," she soothed as she stood and started to brush herself off. Not that it helped much with the lack of light. "When you fell asleep. Figured they could use it in there. Stuck around for a bit too. That Grisok guy is pretty cool, with how serious he was. Almost threw me out before Aradia told him not to. She... Well, Waleti I guess, explained who I was and why I was there, and he just took it in stride. He's a good Enforcer, being willing to accept things that he doesn't understand as true."

Sollux almost scoffed at that. "I need to get back..."

"No," Terezi said, raising and hand to his shoulder and holding him back. "You don't. Waleti told me to pass a message. You're to stay where you are. Get some rest, get some food. Then you're to head into the mainframe room and start electronic data gathering. I'm to let you work for no more than five hours, and then I'm to take you back to your hive. Understand?"

"But TZ..."

"No, Sollux, this isn't up for discussion. I'll carry you around if I have to. Do you really want that?"

When he opened his mouth to protest yet again, her hand came up to cover it and she shook her head. "Sollux. Stop. Let her go. Avenge her, but let her go. Anything else would hurt too much."

She was right. He knew she was right. And that didn't make it any easier.


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Notes: Tada!

* * *

**Doomed To Dream – Part 22**

There were a lot of things in life that Sollux didn't think he was ready to face. There was the potential death of his guardian due to age, there was the black romance that Karkat was trying to kindle, there was the We8 and what it meant he had to keep from his moirail, there was even his job which had gotten exceedingly complicated over the last few perigees. Some he wasn't ready for because he didn't know how he was supposed to deal with the pain that came with them. Others he feared for the fact that he didn't know what would happen if things came to a head. One in particular he didn't know how to deal with because how was someone supposed to develop a pitch romance with a troll that the very act of touching made his pan scream.

None of them compared to this moment here, standing next to the hole in the ground, staring down at a box that was far too small but had been the most efficient way to hold the mangled remains of a troll he had loved.

The mortician—a polite term for a corpsetender—had been no comfort to him, for all that they apparently were supposed to be. Apparently the wizened old purple had thought that it was unseemly for an undeclared matesprit to be involved with any of the planning, and had consulted only with Waleti's guardian about arrangements. Cyclos had almost thrown a fit when he'd heard that Sollux was being shut out of the decision making, relenting only when Sollux had pointed out that all he had to do was go to Waleti's former guardian, show him the token, and he'd easily be brought into it all. Instead he'd just gone to the old troll, told him quietly about the undeclared quadrant, and told him where he would likely find the tokens he had given Waleti. That she'd wanted to go into her eternal rest with them. There was no way for him to know, though, whether or not her wishes had been carried out. The damage done to her—as with all the other trolls on the glider—had been too much to allow an open casket. All Sollux could do was imagine her laying there, full and unharmed and looking like she was only dreaming, her hands clutching the gem studded hairpins against her pusher.

For all that the mortician had been against it, Waleti's former guardian had given Sollux one thing that hadn't been necessary. In truth, Sollux was pretty sure that Grisok had been behind it, but he had been granted the matesprit's place beside the casket, rather than standing in the tight formation that the other members of the division stood at attention in. Instead of his uniform he had been given a chance to wear something more casual, which was little more than his uniform with a non-uniform t-shirt that she had said brought out the faint hints of yellow still left in his eyes. He'd been allowed to cast the first handful of dirt onto the casket. He'd been given the chance to stand there, unflinching, as his fellow Enforcers let out shot after shot to salute their fallen leader.

And it was in honor of their unspoken bond that he'd been left alone when the others had gone away and before the drones came over to finish the burial. Everyone else was going off to a solemn celebration of her life, and he was staying there, staring down at the closest thing he would ever have to a final look at his matesprit. There was a small voice in his pan that said he should jump down into the hole just before the drones started their work and just refuse to come out. Let himself end here, and find some kind of peace.

"It isn't worth it," Terezi said, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder.

"I have no clue at all what you're talking about."

"Yeah, and if I believed that there would be some nice timeshares outside of Capitol I would be a proud investor in," she said, finally stepping to his side. "Does it help that you caught him?"

No. It didn't help in the slightest that the last three sleepless days had yielded a profile. That the profile had lead to an arrest done by Tethys Hydrus herself. It didn't bring Alyssm back from the box she'd been put in. It didn't begun to punish the tealblood that had clearly been trying to prove something to the fuchsia Vriska had called Veruna. Because the troll was going to be tried for an act of terrorism, and for murder, and for a lot of things, and none of that was going to punish the people really behind it. Because he'd asked Vriska, he'd given her the description, and she'd told him what he'd been afraid of knowing. That she'd seen that troll recently. That they were a newcomer to Vriska's little clan, and that Veruna had challenged the teal to prove himself to her. That this was the falling out of someone who had the belief that they were better than Sollux because of blood color, and they were going to prove it on a sky glider because of the face that the glider had a small group of famed 'lowblood' researchers heading to Ristart for a conference. How could catching a symptom without touching the disease be counted as success when most people didn't seem to realize that there was an illness out there?

"Terezi, just leave."

"Sollux..."

"No," he snarled, "I'm not joking here, TZ. Leave. I need some privacy here. Just... Just go wait for me at the memorial."

"How are you going to..."

"I'm a psionic, TZ. I can get anywhere I want."

She looked ready to argue, ready to drag him away. But she saw or heard something that convinced her that the best thing she could do would be walk away.

There was silence for a while, and then the hand was back on his shoulder. Sollux growled, how dare she interrupt him when he made his feelings clear? He whirled on her, his vision going even more towards blue and red at the increased psionic energy from his eyes bathed the world in color, and it all died away as he came face to face with Vriska Serket.

"You," he whispered, unbelieving.

"Me," she agreed, removing her hand in the face of his fury. In fact, she took a full step backward and raised her hands before her in a gesture that showed she wasn't carrying anything. Which he knew meant nothing. She'd had a dagger hidden up her skirt in the restaurant in Capitol, there was nothing to say she didn't have a similar weapon secreted somewhere about her now, probably up her loose sleeves.

"You don't belong here," he snapped, turning back to the hole in the ground. The drones had been moving towards it with their scooping claws raised, and when the noticed his renewed attention they had backed off.

"None of us belong in a place like this," she offered, moving to sit at his side. It was strange to be there, towering over her as she sat on the edge of the hole, her legs dangling down towards the casket at the bottom. "Her least of all. She's... Well, I guess you could say she was relatively innocent in all of this."

"Relatively? All she did was board a glider!"

"Is that what you think?" Vriska asked, her voice little more than a whisper. "Sollux, you do know why she was in Capitol, right?"

"Business," he responded. "And to..." Except Vriska wouldn't be asking if she didn't know something more, right? That wasn't the kind of troll she was. She had answers, usually keeping them to herself, but sometimes she meted them out to him like little treats or prizes for good work. Now he was almost afraid of knowing what she'd held back.

"She was being called in by Tethys. There were whispers of increased hierarchist activities in Capitol and some further out towns. Tethys had been approached via an untraceable message by someone who claimed to have a means to acquire information about the hierarchists. Someone who was on the inside but never agreed with them, who had only taken their offer to protect the trolls they cared about. Someone who was willing to help her blow everything wide open, provided Tethys let the person work without oversight. But Hydrus, she's not quite the trusting kind of troll. The informer offered rough details on a scheduled attack, and used that to earn confidence. Hydrus allowed the attack to go through to prove it was true, but not before seeking out someone to manage dealing with this informer... But not in the terms that the informer laid out. She wanted everything in the open..."

"She wanted you, face to face, rather than through untraceable messages," Sollux finished for her, moving to join Vriska at the edge of the pit.

"Exactly. But that meant hacking past the protections..."

"Doesn't matter who she would have gotten. It's an evolving encryption. Trying to pin it down would cause it to change itself," he promised her as he started to kick his legs back and forth. "I'm better than anyone she could have gotten."

"Which is why she wanted you. I heard she's made you an offer before."

It made a bit more sense now. Waleti hadn't wanted him to fall into Hydrus's hands, had told him as much the night they'd first... It a request had come across her desk to grant Sollux leave for several days to travel to Capitol to speak with Hydrus about a mission, she would have stood in the way of it. He would have asked her to, wouldn't he? He would have, and so knowing that she had gone to Capitol herself to deal with it. In the process she'd had a chance to talk to Terezi, probably to refuse Tethys his service. It was returning from that with the intention of openly claiming him and thus further keeping him out of Hydrus's reach that things had gone wrong. This really was all his...

"It's not your fault," Vriska cut in, already knowing where his thoughts were going. He'd have to figure out how she did that some night, but it wouldn't be tonight. "I promise you, Sollux, that this isn't your fault. The teal was new, Veruna has contacts in the Enforcers that found out, and they set the teal to taking out the glider. It was Waleti they were after, thinking she was in contact with the informant. It was because they are vile, vicious, evil bastards, not because of you. And, in a way, it's my fault. I never should have reached out to Hydrus. She's unpredictable."

"You would have no reason to know that," Sollux pointed out, but all Vriska did was shake her head.

"No, I thought she might be hard to trust, but when she contacted Waleti to find you, when Waleti came to Capitol... I put two and two together. I'm smart enough to do that, Sollux. Remium saw her around the city, recognized my description, and passed word to me. So I found her myself, at a barblock. I recognized her and read between the lines when she was talking. About her job, about her matesprit, about wanting to do something about this thing her work was involved in, but not wanting to do it in the terms given to her. And so I bought her another drink, and we went to another barblock. And we talked more. Kind of hit it off as we did our bar crawl. There was something about her, something wonderful. I could have connected to her on a pale level, I think. Anyway, by the end I gave her a proposal. That maybe there was a way she could fight. That I was looking for people like her. I gave her the secure contact information you made for me, and told her to come looking if she wanted a better way to fight. I... When she got back to Ristart, I was going to have you recruit her, Sollux. She would have been..."

"Perfect for this," he agreed, his voice breaking. "There would have been no more lies. There..."

As he started to cry Vriska pushed herself to her feet and backed away from the pit. "Someone's coming. Your guardian I think. I've got to get out of here. Sollux... You know how to contact me when you need it. I'll always be there on the other end for you."

Then she was gone, and he was yet again left to his tears. Soon, far too soon, he heard Cyclos indeed coming up behind him. It wasn't what he wanted, but he found himself standing to meet his guardian. The drones just beyond the hole looked to be near going mad at the prevention from their duty. Yet Sollux found himself unable to keep from reaching out for the dirt with his psionics. Carefully he lifted the mass of earth and brought it to hover over the hole. As gently as he would have with a blanket, he laid the soil around the casket, tucking it around her to keep her warm beyond the end of the limits of life itself.


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Notes: Maybe you'll recognize a bit of where this chapter starts. If you don't... Well, go read the stories in order. Or, you know, don't and just keep reading.

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Chapter 23

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

AG: Weeeeeeeell if it isn't my favorite troll.

TA: 2hiit what do you want now vrii2ka

AG: Can't a girl just want to talk to her old friends?

TA: maybe but that appliie2 two normal giirl2 doe2nt iit

AG: And I'm not normal?

TA: no

AG: ::::O Well, when you're right, you're right. I need some help.

TA: when dont you never miind what do you need

AG: The full power of your networks and your woooooooonderful 8ees.

AG: I have irons needing tending.

TA: fiigured iit wa2 2omethiing liike that more data plea2e

AG: I've found, 8y the usual means, that our mutual friends have 8een out visiting again.

AG: 8ut there's a pro8lem.

TA: ii2nt there alway2 wiith you

AG: I was l8 finding out a8out this. I've got noooooooo clue who the visitee was.

AG: I need you to find him.

TA: waiit you want me two fiind 2omeone you dont even know the name of who miight already be dead

TA: what do you thiink ii am

AG: My miracle worker.

TA: hardly

AG: You found me didn't you?

TA: and iive been payiing for that ever 2iince

AG: 8etter you than Cyclos, right?

TA: ... riight

AG: I'm not treating this like you still owe me.

TA: liike ii can ever pay you back for what you diid for u2

AG: You don't owe me, Sollux. You've more than done that in spades now. :::;D

TA: that wa2 2o funny ii forgot two laugh that moron 2hout2 iin hii2 2leep you know

AG: Really? I'll pass that on to his m8sprit. May8e he'll make a trip out to visit. Still, you're protecting him, despite everything from the hierarchists. What more can a troll ask for?

TA: clearly favor2 ton2 and ton2 and ton2 and ton2 of favor2

AG: AAAAAAAALL the favors! ::::D

AG: Anyway, I need to find this 8rown, dead or alive.

TA: fiine have anythiing more two go on than the blood color

AG: Well, he's a 8easttalker. Does that help?

TA: ii 2uppo2e ii could try gettiing iintwo the p2ychiic regii2try datacomb no promii2e2 though

TA: that thiing ii2 harder two crack than your pan

AG: I'll have aaaaaaaall the faiths in you, Sollux.

TA: 2ure iill get back two you when ii diig 2omethiing up

AG: Thanks, Sollux. I'll owe you for this.

TA: then get thii2 damn 2houtiing rage machiine out of my hiive

AG: D:::: Sorry, Sollux. Can't do that. He's still got two sweeps on his internship down there.

AG: Trust me, his m8sprit is pretty un8eara8le at times 8ecause of this. Hell, Terezi is un8eara8le without him around.

TA: ii doubt theyre nearly 2o unbearable a2 kk ii2

AG: You'd 8e surprised.

AG: Anyway, I've got some things to get to. Good luck.

TA: iill need iit

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

Truth be told, luck wasn't going to figure in to his task at all. Access to certain parts of the psychic registry was open to members of the Enforcers, especially when related to certain kinds of cases. A few perigees back there had been a string of burglaries in Ristart that the new captain had thought had to do with inappropriate use of a psychic gift. While the others of the division had been on the streets trying to find the troll in question, Sollux had been sent into the registry mainframe to send in the proper requests for information regarding warmbloods with powers that could be used to such ends. While the registry search had been turned down until they had a suspect, the extra bit of code that he'd embedded in the message had been the first step in building a back door. The second had required a similar bit of code to be entered from the actual physical terminals at the central registry database. That part would have been the difficult one were it not for the fact that a member of the We8 was actually a giftgrader and had, after some serious discussion of ethical implications and assurances that Sollux would never use the access granted him without her oversight, the second half of the code had been put into the system and his door created.

It did mean, though, that he had to talk to her to clear his search.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling helpingHands [HH]

TA: yo hh hate two bother you 2o clo2e two quiittiing but ii need two run 2omethiing by you

HH: ≈So the Time has Come for You to Ask of Me what We both Wished that You would Not≈

TA: yeah ii gue22 iit kiind of ha2

TA: iive got an order from the 8o22 two try and fiind 2omeone and the only clue weve got ii2 regii2try

HH: ≈You are Sure there Is absolutely No other Way to Deal with The search? There is Not another Database you Can mine For the Information? No other Member who Could possibly Find you The information You need?≈

TA: you know ii wouldnt come two you iif iit wa2nt ab2olutely nece22ary hh thii2 guy2 liife could be iin danger and we need your help two 2ave hiim

HH: ≈TA you Promised me That you Would never Ask me This without Reason. I had Just hoped That there Was another Method to Try first.≈

TA: there ii2nt all the 8o22 know2 ii2 hii2 blood and that he2 got a giift

TA: 2he want2 u2 two check the regii2try about thii2 and fiind the guy can you do that?

HH: ≈I have The right To ask Why, correct? I wish To know Why this Is so Pressing. No, i Demand to Know this.≈

TA: he wa2 beaten bad by a couple viiolet2 the 8o22 ii2 worriied that iit could kiill hiim or diid iim goiing two check enforcer report2 but ii dont expect two fiind anythiing

HH: ≈Beaten by A violet And there Is a Chance he Still lives? I cannot Fathom such A thing. How is It even Possible that One who Gained such Wrathful attention Could survive?≈

TA: that2 why we need the regii2try the brown ii2 apparently a bea2ttalker and wa2 2aved by hii2 giift

HH: ≈A beasttalker You say? Yes that Could serve To explain The potential Survival. Him and Brown you Say? Well with Some locational Data i Might be Able to Do a Search that Will yield Some clues For the 8oss. Is there Anything else I can Do when I search?≈

TA: iif you fiind hiim ii need everythiing you can get me from hii2 fiile2 the re2t iill fiind my2elf iin other area2 and ii dont thiink ii need two tell you that the fa2ter we get thii2 the better

HH: ≈I understand This. You have My permission To use The access Point. I too Shall search As i Have a Few minutes Free before Quitting time. Shall we Contact each Other again When and If we Find something?≈

TA: of cour2e but untiil that tiime iim goiing two leave you be good luck

HH: ≈And to You.≈

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling helpingHands [HH]

He took a moment to look at the small box in the corner of his display that told him what he was _supposed _to be doing for work tonight, and sighed. When had it been that he'd moved from dedicated Enforcer to working half-pushered and instead devoting himself so fully to Vriska's line of work?

Waleti's death. The answer came to him without all that much contemplation. Nothing had been the same since then. Just the thought of it made him turn his attention to the small box that sat between his keyboard and monitor. It was a fragile looking thing, a box smaller than his fist, covered in black satin, and closed to protect its contents against the dust that developed in any room. In there, cushioned on a bed of silk, was a ring that the very sight of made him cry. Simple metal band set with a stone in a shade of blue that he never would have aspired to, as much as he had longed for it.

But that had been a while ago. Far longer ago than he cared to admit. Had it really been over a sweep since then? Had he been going through the motions day after day of a life of someone who hadn't lost their matesprit? It was hard, impossible to believe, and yet it was as true as anything else in his life. As true as Vriska's allusion to all that he owed her and the unspoken knowledge of what she owed him. Strangely, it was even harder to believe that his life hadn't ended when Alyssm's had. It was something that came to him every time he slept, every time he ate, and every single time that Karkat pinned him against the wall and threatened him in a way that sent shivers up his spine.

Life kept on moving, and he wasn't sure if he liked that.

"Time to get to work," he mumbled to himself, shaking the thoughts of the life he could have had from his head. There was someone out there who needed saving, something Waleti would have wanted him to do. Something she would have done if she'd been given the chance. So he was going to have to do it for her. Live for her. Keep on fighting for the voices in his dreams and the memory of the only one he hadn't heard coming.

But first, there was a suspicion he needed to confirm. And lucky for him, HH had just given him the means to do it.


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Notes: And so Phase 2 of this story continues. Phase 2 (and later Phase 3) are likely to be shorter than the whole of Phase 1, but who can be sure? Also, don't shout about the quirk. It's deliberate.

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Part 24

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

AG: I don't care what it takes. I don't care what I will have to owe you.

AG: Lay claim to my first 8orn gru8s. Demand my whoooooooole collection of 8adass hats.

AG: Anything at all.

AG: Just do one thing for me, Sollux.

AG: Protect adiosToreador.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

TA: what the fuck ii2 goiing on here 2erket?

There was no reply, and to be honest, Sollux hadn't expected one. Vriska had a propensity for not answering questions she didn't want to answer. It made their partnership a bit lopsided, but it wasn't like it was even meant to be balanced. Vriska called the shots, Vriska directed their efforts, and Vriska was the one that everyone trusted. Sollux was her strong right hand, and the only one who really knew how everything fit together and what was going on. She had the charisma, and he had the plan. She could lead, but only he knew the bigger picture that she had to make her way through. For all of that, though, Vriska was still a puzzle to him.

Still, Vriska's reaction to her visit with that brownblood Tavros Nitram was unexpected to say the least. While Sollux had expected _something _to change when she met him, she hadn't expected anything like this.

When he'd gone through the files that HH had helped him retrieve, he'd known which of the possible brownbloods was the victim Vriska wanted almost instantly. After all, the files from the registry all came with pictures, and when he'd opened Nitram's, he'd known that face. It hadn't mattered that the image was out of date by a few sweeps, or that the facial features were less than clear because the picture had to be large enough to show off the full of the brown's horns, Sollux had known that face instantly. After all, he saw it every night after he laid down on the slab and found himself swept into the limitless stillness and noise of his dreamscape. That had been the face and horns of the troll who stood in the circle between Aradia and Sollux, his expression a mixed one of fear and determination. Sollux had spent a full ten minutes staring at that picture, trying to figure out just what it meant to find one of the twelve members of the circle of his dreams so easily, or was it by fate? Either way things were changing, and he'd known without any more searching that Tavros Nitram was who Vriska was looking for.

Of course, that hadn't been the only thing that Sollux had learned from the psychic registry that day. There had been a question that needed answered, and the only source for them was the registry itself. How was it that Vriska knew what he was feeling when she was around him? How had she known what he was thinking, how could she be so confident in her trust in him when they'd first met? The answer had come in the form of two files, one a listing of what different kinds of psychic powers had been known to manifest within ceruleans—which was a highly rare occurrence on its own—and the other a full description and departmental briefing on the full known limits, potential, and risks raised by one power in particular. It was a gift called empathy, and could have just as easily have been known as pancontrol, from what Sollux had read.

It was a gift that was carefully regulated, carefully controlled, and always punished when it was hidden. From what Sollux had read it was a pretty understandable thing to punish. The record mentioned something of a serial killer about a hundred sweeps back who had used this power to force warmbloods to murder for him. The very thought of such misuse of the power made his bilesack churn so badly that he almost feared he'd have to spend the rest of the night worshiping at the load gaper. Instead he'd tucked his newly stolen secret away into a tiny corner of his pan, and tried to figure out whether he intended to use what he knew to better support the efforts of the We8 or as a means to keep Vriska in line.

Until this moment, though, he hadn't thought he'd need some kind of leash on Vriska. She was so clearly intent on foiling the plans of this Veruna that Sollux didn't doubt the relative purity of her intentions. And in a way he could figure just why she was so quiet about her gift; there were plenty of trolls who would seek to abuse or use her powers for their own ends. Yet that didn't mean he could understand what was driving her order now. Before this the way the whole thing worked was that after Vriska confirmed a target for aid, he went in and put an advanced security system into their computer and let it go there. If they were potential recruits he was to monitor them and eventually slip the contact protocols into their system, waiting for the right kind of moment to open them and greet their intended recruit. Those trolls, when told of the aims of their group and how Vriska had been an unwitting agent for the group to help the troll, well, they jumped on board sooner rather than later. But that wasn't what Vriska was asking for. No, the only trolls she'd ever asked Sollux to 'protect' were Karkat and Remium, her wardmates. Karkat was protected by Sollux's very presence, not to mention the less than subtle pitch relationship that had formed between them—no one dared to harm the kismesis of a known, trained psionic. Remium was protected by a not insubstantial net of protections Sollux had woven into his computer systems, protections which Remium had been forward about thanking Sollux for.

Apparently the olive had a thing for... less socially acceptable parts of the net, and Sollux's hand coded security protocols were better at keeping viruses off of his system than any easily obtainable public protection systems.

Just who was this brown blood, and what was it that was driving Vriska so clearly frantic over him?

With a sigh Sollux set himself to searching out adiosToreador and hacking into his system. After all, there was no better way to be aware of just where the flaws in a system were that needed protecting than by poking your own way through them.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling adiosToreador

TA: who the fuck are you 2uppo2ed two be?

AT: uH, wELL 1 WOULD SUPPOSE 1 AM SUPPOSED TO BE ME, 1F THAT 1S SOMETHING THAT ONE CAN BE,

TA: that ii2nt what ii mean and you know iit 2o ju2t tell me why iive got a troll wriitiing you pale letter2 on my hand2

AT: pALE LETTERS, wHAT PALE LETTERS, 1'M NOT QU1TE SURE 1 UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE, uH, tALK1NG ABOUT, wHO WOULD WR1TE ME PALE LETTERS,

AT: aND WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SOMEONE ON YOUR HANDS WHO WAS WR1T1NG ME THEM,

AT: aND 1F YOU DON'T MIND MY ASK1NG, wHO ARE YOU AND HOW D1D YOU GET MY 1NFORMAT1ON,

TA: oh god do you even realiize ju2t how hard iit ii2 two read your damn typiing pattern? why can there be no logiical pattern2 around here?

TA: a2 for the who and the how the an2wer2 are the 2ame: vrii2ka

AT: ,,, yOU, uH, wELL YOU ARE AWARE OF WHO THE WHO 1S AND THE WHO 1S A WHO THAT 1S WR1T1NG ME WHAT,

AT: aND 1T 1SN'T L1KE YOUR QU1RK 1S MUCH BETTER, wHAT 1S WI1H THE TWOS AND THE STUFF L1KE THAT,

TA: okay 2top iit2 tiime two 2tart over and 2top thii2 2tupiid babbliing

TA: ju2t what are you two vrii2ka and keep iin miind that iif you dont an2wer two my 2atii2factiion ii wiill make 2ure that you 2uffer

AT: 1 ALMOST TH1NK THAT 1 SHOULD BE ASK1NG YOU THAT QUEST1ON RATHER THAN HAV1NG YOU ASK ME,

TA: then her feeliing2 arent one 2iided

AT: hONESTLY, 1'M NOT ENT1RELY SURE 1'M, uH, sURE ABOUT WHAT WE'RE D1SCUSS1NG ANYMORE,

TA: there ii2 a lot that 2he told you or at lea2t that ii2 what the letter2 iimply

TA: 2o ii need two know and dont liie two me are you pale wiith vrii2ka? becau2e iif you arent you need two 2top thii2 now before you hurt her

AT: 1 WOULD NEVER HURT VR1SKA, wHETHER YOU ARE EVEN CAPABLE OF UNDERSTAND1NG SUCH A TH1NG THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE 1N A PLACE TO JUDGE WHAT 1 HAVE OR M1GHT HAVE W1TH VR1SKA,

AT: sO BACK OFF OR ELSE 1,,, uH,,, 1'LL DO SOMETHING THAT 1 AM NOT SURE OF AT THE MOMENT BUT 1 PROM1SE YOU W1LL REGRET DO1NG WHAT YOU ARE DO1NG BECAUSE 1 W1LL MAKE YOU REGRET 1T BY DO1NG SOMETH1NG ELSE WH1CH W1LL MAKE,,, yOU REGRET 1T,

TA: diid you ju2t threaten me?

AT: 1, uH, tH1NK THAT M1GHT HAVE JUST BEEN A TH1NG THAT 1 D1D,

AT: uH, aRE YOU ST1LL THERE,

AT: m1STER ARMAGEDDONS S1R,

TA: 2omeday vrii2ka ii2 goiing two try two kiill me for thii2 but ii thiink you need two be appraii2ed of everythiing that 2he miight not have told you 2o fiir2t ii need two know what you know

AT: 1'M NOT JUST GO1NG TO BETRAY HER L1KE THAT,

TA: clearly con2iideriing you were wiilliing two threaten me over her 2o let2 2tart wiith thii2

TA: my name ii2 2ollux captor and ii am the head organiizer of a group called the we8

TA: a group that fiight2 hemohiierarchy followiing the diirectiive2 of vrii2ka 2erket

TA: a group that youre now a part of whether vrii2ka want2 iit or not becau2e hone2tly tavro2 niitram iim not 2ure 2he can keep doiing thii2 wiithout you

Ultimately there was far too much to get through everything in that first sitting. By the time Tavros covered all that he'd discussed with Vriska, Sollux had only had time to explain his own first reasons for seeking her out—minus the full explanation of his powers of course—before an alarm went off on the other side of his room. Tavros was clearly both upset and frustrated by his sudden announcement that he had to go, but had calmed down a bit when Sollux promised to talk to him again as soon as he finished with the appointment he had made for himself.

Still, by the time that was tied up there was little time left to do everything he intended to. He'd wanted to take a shower and dry his hair—it turned out that towels plus psionics meant a nice even dry in practically no time at all, though it did leave his horns a little sore—and maybe throw on something that didn't look like he'd picked it up off the floor where it had been lying for a few days. As it was all he had the time to do was run a comb through his hair to tame it a bit before he had to get moving.

As soon as he was as presentable as he could afford to spend the time on, he strode from his room as quickly as he could without looking like he was rushing, and threw himself over the banister of the staircase. Practicing with his psionics was vital and one of his favorite ways to do it around the hive was by avoiding the stairs. Yet his not-quite rush meant that instead of lowering himself carefully, Sollux let himself fall, only catching himself with his power just before he hit the ground. It meant that the fall was more jarring than it would have been if he'd just floated down. But every stray second counted, and Sollux found he had just enough time to stretch out on the couch, turn on the TV and look like he was utterly engrossed with the pointless drivel that was on the screen before there was a knock at the hive door.

He took a deep breath, counted to three, and then shouted to the block at large, trying very hard to sound disinterested. "I'll get it."

It had taken almost three perigees to perfect the slouching walk that insisted that he was disinterested with the world as a whole and yet carried him along at a pretty reasonable pace. He slipped into it as he stood, making his way towards the door even as he heard the loud and rushed steps of Karkat throwing himself down the stairs. It wasn't nearly enough for Karkat to beat him to the door, though, which left Sollux with the chance to open the door for the anticipated visitor.

The opened to a smile almost as bright as the sun itself, and Sollux almost hated himself for thinking of it that way. It was a stupid kind of phrase that was far too common in romcoms, and he didn't want to be prone to that kind of thing. Yet there was no other way to describe the way that Aradia's smile just seemed to light up a room.

"Hey AA," he said, trying not to sound too interested. Trying to not _be _all that interested. But that was a doomed hope. Because whenever he looked at Aradia he found himself wanting to reach out for her.

It didn't make a whit of sense. By all rights he should have hated to see her, hated to hear her voice. The memories of the final moments she'd given him of his matesprit should have torn his pusher apart whenever he looked at her, shouldn't it? Yet when he looked at her he thought of the warmth of her fingers against his cheek, the heat of her lips against his own, the genuine concern and sympathy she had over his loss. It didn't help that whenever he saw her with Karkat he found himself wondering things that didn't make any sense to wonder.

"Hello Sollux!" she greeted him cheerfully, taking a chance to push a few strands of hair behind her ear in a way that both made him think of Waleti and yet was somehow think of it as a uniquely Aradia mannerism. Maybe it was because Aradia seemed to do it when she was nervous, where Alyssm had only done it when she was annoyed or frustrated with something, usually her hair. "Is Karkat free?"

"Probably," he said, only moments before the voices started to whisper in his pan in a way that told him that Karkat was reaching to push him out of the way. It was too easy to step away from the touch, something which tended to frustrate Karkat. The asshole got pretty pissed off when he couldn't sneak up on Sollux. As if that would ever be a thing that happened. The voices gave Sollux an edge that couldn't be beat by any amount of practice or focus.

"I'm almost ready to go," Karkat snapped, moving through the opening Sollux gave him so that he stood between Sollux and Aradia. "Got caught up editing. Just need to change. Come on, you can wait in my block."

"You know, pale relationships aren't supposed to be about seeing your 'rail undressing," Sollux snarked, and almost had to smile at the chuckle that Aradia hid behind her hand.

"Take what time you need," Aradia insisted. "The couch will be fine."

"Want some sourfruit juice?" Sollux asked, backing away from the door. "Cyclos keeps a pretty substantial supply in the thermal hull..."

"Thank you," Aradia agreed, moving past Karkat without waiting for whatever protest he'd invariably create. Were it not for the fact that Aradia was clearly pale for Karkat, Sollux was pretty sure she would get ashen between them. Moments like this, where she disarmed the open tension between them without really noticing only earned her more points in Sollux's books.

Not that it did anything for the less obvious tension, because Sollux could almost sense how much Karkat was fuming at being brushed aside, especially for Sollux. Then again he couldn't exactly refuse Aradia's implied instruction, and soon he was rushing back to his respite block to change, leaving Sollux alone with the cheerful maroonblood.

"It's always surprising to think that you and your guardian keep such an ample supply of sourfruit juice," Aradia observed as she followed Sollux toward the foodprepblock.

"Oh?" he asked, trying not to sound too interested while being totally confused by her observation.

"You both clearly prefer sweet things. There is always a profusion of honey and sugar and candies in your hive."

The very fact that she had noticed such a thing made his cheeks heat with a rush of blood. He was certain they had to be tinged with yellow, and were it not for him opening the thermalhull and thrusting his face into its cool interior he was certain that she would have noticed. Part of him wondered if that would truly be a bad thing, while another part cursed him for being disloyal to Waleti's memory. After all, it had only been a sweep and a half, give or take a perigee.

When he was around Aradia it was almost easy to forget the pain that still lingered from the loss of his matesprit. When he was around Aradia it was almost easy to ignore the fact that he was still, by all rights, in mourning of a relationship that had never reached its potential. When he was around Aradia he almost felt like there was a chance to be truly happy again. And when he was around Aradia he almost found himself wanting to turn to Karkat and rather than punch him, asking him for the right to pursue his moirail.

A right he would never earn, and hadn't even decided whether it was worth pursuing.

Already he'd lost his matesprit to his work with the We8. He wasn't sure he'd ever be willing to risk losing another to the same thing.

Strange, how willing he was to risk Vriska's potential moirail, but not his own, and definitely not a troll he was certain he was falling in love with.


	25. Chapter 25

Author's Notes: Yet another chapter that parallels Behind Blue Lies. But Sollux has a far more interesting take on the conversations, I believe, than Vriska does. Let's find out.

* * *

Behind Blue Lies – Part 25

technicallyUninspired [TU] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

TU: i know i'm not supposed to cont^ct you without something useful or stuff like th^t but we've got ^ bit of ^ problem

TA: what kiind of problem?

TU: you've got to underst^nd th^t i don't do this lightly

TU: especi^lly since i'm on ^n unsecured termin^l

TA: woah waiit youre on an un2ecured termiinal? what the fuck are you thiinkiing douchebag? or ii2 nothiing goiing on iin your pan?

TU: this is ^ very highly seriously serious situ^tion

TU: the heiress's consort z^hh^k ^rrived ^nd w^s dem^nding inform^tion on some troll c^lled t^vris or something ^nd then he went storming out of here shouting ^bout vrisk^ h^ving ^ knife on him

TA: 2hiit 2he2 got no 2en2e of dii2cretiion doe2 2he never miind that ju2t get back two work iill deal wiith all thii2

TU: wh^t should i do in the me^ntime?

TA: go back two your work and keep your ear2 open

TA: iill handle everythiing from here or at lea2t everythiing ii can

TA: and keep watchiing becau2e the only way we can protect her from her own 2tupiidiity ii2 two make 2ure we know when 2he2 beiing an iidiiot

TU: ok^y if you s^y so but i will be looking for you l^ter tonight

TA: ii know good huntiing remiium

technicallyUninspired [TU] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

Sollux found himself cursing as he closed out the Trollian window and redirected his attention to a smaller husktop on his desk. Things were, quite clearly, getting far more complicated now. Clearly, from what he'd learned from Vriska and more importantly from Tavros, there hadn't been much of a choice but to turn to someone about the injuries Tavros had sustained. Why, he almost found himself screaming in frustration, did she have to pick her ever suspicious kismesis for the job? Yes, Zahhak was the best there was on this sort of work, but he loathed Vriska in a way that Cyclos would highlight as a pinnacle of pitch romance, and was always eager to lay the ills of the world at Vriska's—admittedly capable—feet. Giving him the blank check of Tavros was only making things worse. Which meant, as much as he hated it, Sollux had to go into damage control mode. His current attempts to cut through an encryption for an Enforcers case was going to have to be outsourced. And that meant making use of the recently rededicated and secured We8-business-only husktop that he didn't like even having to turn on. He only did so when things had a chance of hitting the bladed whirling device.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling sapphiricDreaming_xX

TA: need a favor

SD: wow where ɖiɖ you come fromϗϗ

SD: not to §ay that i'm not happy to hear from you but if what i'm §eeing i§ right you're on re§erveϗϗ

TA: ii am but that ii2nt the ii22ue now 2ome 2eriiou2 2hiit ii2 goiing on wiith 8o22 and ii need two deal wiith iit

SD: let me gue§§ the job ha§ got §ome project for you that i§ utterly below our §kill level but §till require§ §ome level of time anɖ attention to ɖeal withϗϗ

TA: got iit iin one iit2 a miid level encryptiion on a hu2ktop u2ed by 2omeone 2u2pected of embezzliing

TA: not the mo2t glamorou2 or riivetiing of work but iit need2 done

SD: anɖ you neeɖ to be §omewhere el§e helping 8o§§ϗϗ

SD: i get your concern anɖ lucky you i'm back up to full function anɖ utterly boreɖ while i'm looking for new line§ of workϗϗ

SD: woulɖ you throw up a connection between our §y§tem§ anɖ i'll run the thing to the grounɖ for youϗϗ

TA: thank2 2aph youre pretty much a liife 2aver

SD: you §ay that now but i'm not §ure you're going to feel that way in a weekϗϗ

TA: 2hiit 2aph ii am not iin the kiind of place two deal wiith thiing2 liike thii2 now 2o what the fuck do you mean?

SD: tygre§ anɖ i are having a celebration of the fifth §weep §ince our pale ɖeclaration§ anɖ we'ɖ like you to be thereϗϗ

TA: what?

TA: you two are comiing up on your fiir2t palen2ary? congratulatiion2 uh the fiir2t ii2 wood ba2ed giift2 riight?

SD: yeah wooɖ but we're not exactly traɖitionali§t§ϗϗ

SD: gift or not we really want you to be there in fact we want 8o§§ there a§ well but we realize how unlikely that i§ anɖ aren't even going to a§kϗϗ

TA: 2he cant go for the 2ame rea2on2 ii cant neiither of u2 ha2 an outward excu2e two know you well enough two be here for that 2ort of thiing but ii do promii2e giift2

SD: i §uppo§e i §houlɖ have expecteɖ thatϗϗ

SD: fine ju§t open up a connection between our §y§tem§ anɖ i'll ɖo that work you neeɖ ɖoneϗϗ

TA: 2aph

SD: ju§t open the connection i have work to ɖoϗϗ

sapphiricDreaming_xX [SD] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

TA: 2hiit

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling sapphiricDreaming_xX

With a sigh Sollux turned his attention to opening a connection between Saph's system and his own so that she could continue and monitor the encryption his main system was working on. It was easier than thinking about what he'd been forced to do. The truth was that it hadn't taken long working with some of the other members of the We8 to come to genuinely care about them. They were friends as much as they were allies, and that in a life that hadn't exactly been suffering from a profusion—or even traditionally held opinion on a reasonable number—of friends. He'd come to know their names, their faces, and their hopes and dreams for themselves and their quads and others they loved. There was an old maroon who had given her life to schoolfeeding, who had raised three different young trolls of her own blood. One of those wards had been killed by a suspected hemohierarchist for refusing to accept black advances, which she 'should have considered an honor.' Another had been crippled trying to protect his young wardmate. The third child was an active member of the group, serving as a healthtender in a small seaside town who had yet to prove afraid to point out hierarchists that attempted to terrorize the town of mostly green and warmer bloods. He knew the old maroon's name, her matesprit's name, and that her favorite treat was fresh sourfruit cut in half and eaten raw save for a sprinkling of sugar.

There was a young violet who was a part of the group because he had made the mistake of flushing, and flushing hard, for what was apparently the most wonderful and even tempered brownblood in the world. His matesprit had a slight talent for manipulating the water. It wasn't enough to cause anyone any kind of trouble, but had made the brown love the ocean and make his life upon it. He had been a catcher and seller of fish on the shore of one of the large freshwater lakes far inland, and when he wasn't fishing he was prone to spending nights on the waters in his boat, just reveling in the feeling of the wave rocking the boat. The violet We8spinner had taken a trip inland to explore dry land, and most specifically slake curiosity that seadwellers apparently had about swimming in waters untouched by the salt of the sea. The silly violet hadn't realized that the lake wouldn't be deep enough to protect him fully from the sun as the ocean would, and as panic had set in he had come upon the ship and sheltered through the day by the sweet brown. Their love and pity had been simple, pure, and undeniably true. Over the years his trips to the lake had become more frequent, until he had almost been living there with his declared matesprit. Then, one night after he had gone out to the far edge of the lake to search for the skuttlebeasts his matesprit so loved to dine upon, he had returned to find the boat ravaged. To find a spattering of brown blood on the wood. And far too soon into his search he'd found the bloating body of his matesprit. When he'd returned to the ocean a few perigees later his violetblooded friends had welcomed him back with open arms and spoke poorly of 'shitbloods' who couldn't swim, who thought the waters of the world were theirs to play with, and whose face would have been hilarious to see while drowning. It had been then that the violet had his worst fears—that his matesprit's death had been no accident—had changed his life. He'd moved to the city, where he'd more than once gotten hurt trying to protect trolls of any bloodcolor from violence, which was how Sollux had finally found him.

There were so many of them now, each with their own stories and reasons for being in the We8. They had people they wanted to protect, that they wanted to remember, that they wished they could have done more for. There were those who didn't really fathom just how insanely organized and powerful the forces Veruna commanded were, and there were those who suspected them far too well. And Sollux, he was the connection between them all. Each and every story was engrained in his pan, more than Vriska would ever know or face. All of their skills, reasons, and means of supporting the rest were at his fingertips. Over the whole of them they had the ability to help an injured person who couldn't openly go to the healthtenders, to new owners of businesses truly operated by the We8 that were meant to finance helping others get back on their feet. There were coders like himself, people in places to hear things like Remium, and people still finding their footing like Tavros. They ranged from active infiltrators like Vriska, to those poised on the cusp of smaller cells, to those who only knew of the pains done to them. They were a web of resources to Vriska, a means to fight the evil that was corrupting the roots of their world. To Sollux they were names and faces and stories and unbelievable pains that none of them had ever deserved.

The hardest part of it all was that he knew about them all so intimately, and yet never could show it. They were his friends, his allies, and the people relied upon, and while he knew their faces few of them would ever know his. The high points of their lives gave him hope. The lows made him mourn for them. And when there were events like the coming palensary for Sapire and Tygres, both early and highly active members of the We8, he found himself almost tempted to break his rule of distance from the real lives of his fellows. It was times like this, work like this, that made him long to be part of the happier times of lives.

As it was Sollux turned his attention to his husktop and the mission at hand. He had to check in with Tavros to find out just what had happened during his appointment with Zahhak. Then he had to make sure there was no way that Zahhak could connect Vriska with Tavros that he could use to bring the Enforcers in to make a muck out of things. Then he was going to have to deal with Vriska. That was going to take a while too. From the look of the clock on his husktop he'd be lucky to see any sleep, especially since it was sneaking up on sunrise already.

* * *

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

AG: Have you ever h8d someone so much you almost thought killing them was a good idea?

There she was, right on time, Sollux sighed as his husktop pinged and the message popped up. He'd only just finished clearing any scrap of connection he could find between Vriska and Tavros, not to mention resecuring their systems just in case it was needed. In the process, though, he'd found another few unsent pale letters from Vriska to Tavros, and the implications of that had been almost more than he was ready to deal with. It was true, as he'd guessed, that there was more going on between those two than he rightly wanted to know, and it was going to be up to him to make sure they both stayed sane enough to be useful before something bad happened to either one. A brief glance toward the covered window by his slab was more than enough to tell Sollux that, as predicted, Vriska had chosen the worst possible time for this shit. Sunlight peaked sinisterly around the edges of his curtains.

TA: fiir2t of all, you 2ound liike a bad piitch 2ong

TA: 2econd, have you even met kk?

AG: Come on, no need to joke like that.

TA: who2 jokiing? the a22hole biit me for iin2ultiing hii2 damn faygo berry piie

AG: Pie is all sorts of serious 8usiness, Sollux, Didn't you know?

TA: iit2 dii2gu2tiingly 2weet

TA: wor2e when you put that 2wiill iin iit

He couldn't help but smile a bit at the memory as well. Aradia had been there for the sampling, which made sense seeing as Karkat had made the damn thing for her. Sollux had been the taste testing minioinkbeast for the recipe that Karkat had gotten from his matesprit, and he'd been left to wonder just how Makara had gotten himself a matesprit—even one as abrasive and unsuited to pitying as Karkat—with the disgusting flavor of the food. The only upside had been the sound of Aradia's laughter and her teasing comment that there were apparently things too sweet even for Sollux to enjoy. She, for reasons he couldn't process, had enjoyed the abomination posing as food, and he had left it to her without regret.

AG: I kind of like it. Listen, it's cause he's lonely I think.

AG: That's the kind of cooking that his m8sprit does. He hasn't seen Gamzee in a while. Give him a 8reak.

TA: ii don't tell you how two handle your quad2 don't tell me how two handle miine

TA: anyway what brought up your black lament?

As if Sollux didn't know. But it was better, in the long run, if Vriska underestimated his information gathering ability. Surprising her meant he was better at surprising everyone else. Plus she would likely give Remium grief if she knew he was reporting to Sollux.

AG: Same as usual. Apparently the 8rown8lood said my name to him.

TA: the brown a2 iin tavro2 niitram, one bea2ttalker you wont talk about?

TA: the one you want me 2pyiing on

AG: Are we really doing this again? Is this going to 8e a thing that happens?

TA: you brought iit up not me

TA: why are you 2o touchy about thii2 2hiit?

AG: You wouldn't understand.

He wouldn't understand? How ridiculous. Alright then, it was time to play a card from his hand, and one of the throw-away ones at that.

TA: what ii2 iit that keep2 you around thii2 guy? and dont 2ay you arent

TA: iive got tracker2 iin your 2y2tem2 two iive 2een the letter2

AG: What? How could you?

Oh, this was going to be exceedingly fun.

TA: 2iimple ii ju2t open my program2 liike 2o and...

AG: Sollux, why the F8CK is my 8ackground displaying a picture of your dum8 smirking face?

AG: Arg! Why the F8CK is my text this garish shade of yellow?

AG: Dammit! F8X TH8S N8W!

TA: there, 2ee? all better

TA: liike ii 2aiid ii 2aw the letter2

TA: you there?

TA: takiing your tiime proce22iing?

TA: ii can under2tand that

AG: You agreed to help me, when you started to monitor my husktop to protect our We8, not to spy on me.

Well, he'd never exactly agreed to that, but pointing that fact out would do him no good in this situation, would it? Better to revert to lying once more. He was getting too good at it.

TA: chiill already geez

TA: ii diidnt read much what do you thiink ii am?

AG: Sometimes I wonder. Why are you even telling me this?

TA: ii know iim goiing two regret thii2 but... iif you need 2omeone two talk two ii am here

AG: Like you'd really want to listen.

TA: what do you thiink the web ii2 goiing two do iif you lo2e iit?

AG: Look to your scrawny ass?

TA: the empre22 doe2nt 2eem two care about fiightiing them and ii dont have your iin2iide iinfo two lead u2

TA: 2o we need you 2table and ready two put that conniing thiinkpan of your2 two u2e

AG: You mean cunning.

TA: ii dont youre a con plaiin and 2iimple

TA: at lea2t youre the kiind who u2e2 your eviil power2 for good liike iin that 2hiitty heii2t 2how kk watche2

No need to admit that he watched it too. And Terezi. And Cyclos. What was it about that show that was so riveting? Sollux had to think that it was, in no small part, the fact that the 'good' guys always seemed to win against the kinds of evil that society couldn't touch. It almost made Sollux wish he had a team of a hitter, a thief, and a better con than Vriska to take out the hierarchists with. He, of course, would be both hacker and mastermind.

AG: That show is ALL of the awesome. Don't insult Directed Application of Force. Oh, it's on this morning too. Can't miss it!

TA: ta2tele22 hethen2

TA: anyway what iim 2ayiing ii2 iif you need 2ome troll two talk two not a real 'raiil miind you ju2t tell me

TA: youre two iimportant two go mad iin your on damn pan becau2e you cant 2ee 2ome pathetiic bea2ttalker

AG: I'm not sure what's going on, 8ut I'm just going to file this away under confusing shit I will think a8out another time and for now pretend it makes sense.

TA: whatever ju2t dont complaiin that ii never told you

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

Oh well, that was all he was willing to deal with from her for now. There had to be a better way to deal with Vriska's need for emotional support. He was going to find it too, given the chance. All he had to do was figure out how to get Vriska to tie herself to Tavros.

"FUCKING HELL VRISKA!"

Karkat's outraged shout easily cut through he walls of the hive. So Vriska had already found another target to bother. Sollux smirked to himself and closed his husktop. He was going to give it about half an hour before he went to find out just what happened. If he was lucky Karkat would still be in quite a fuss over Vriska's poorly timed messages. She never remembered time differences, and it always pissed Karkat off. If Sollux played his cards right he'd have the chance to get some quality pitch time in with his kismesis. That new idea of clawing at Karkat through his thick sweaters and biting his neck through the shellbeast neck of said sweater was paying off wonderfully.


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Notes: So if you've got an attentive eye you might recognize this chapter. Kind of. It's another scene from another story from another story. But since we've got Sollux we actually get to KNOW what's going on behind the scenes this time.

* * *

Doomed to Dream – Part 26

Whatever it was Vriska was about to tell him, it was deadly serious. Sollux had set up the ability for them to video chat very carefully and had forbidden Vriska to even suggest it unless the situation was dire. She had used it in ways he'd thought was frivolous once or twice, but more than anything Vriska had taken the responsibility of the tool rather seriously. So to have her show up on Trollian and tersely told him they needed to talk before signing off, well, it meant that things were serious beyond reason.

That didn't mean he was willing to just throw away his whole evening on faith, though. Even as he set his system set up for the conversation he hadn't bothered locking his block door, or even turning off the work he was doing. Instead he had turned down his speakers, set up his webcam, and leaned back in his seat to wait for the connection.

"Veruna wants me to plan her coming out party. The more deaths, the better."

"She wants you to what?" he found himself asking, the words not making any sense in his mind. Clearly Vriska was out of her pan. Maybe he'd send that limeblood towards her. At least he could calm her down from what was clearly raving lunacy.

Vriska sighed, and the heaviness of it, the pure fatigue that he could see behind he glasses, they told the story he didn't want to believe. There was something... different about Vriska. Different from even the last time he spoke with her. While he couldn't put it into words, and definitely couldn't be positive of it like she would be in his position—given proximity of course—he knew something very serious had happened.

"You heard me, Sollux. Don't pretend that you didn't"

Just what he was afraid of hearing. "I'm... Just trying to get this through my pan. Hold on, this sounds like a long conversation. I've got to do a few things first."

As Vriska lowered her head Sollux pushed himself back from his desk and stood. This was serious, the worst kind of serious. For everything that Vriska had seen and done while among the hierarchists, this... This wasn't typical. This went above and beyond. With a sigh he made his way to the door of his block and slammed the locks back. Nothing good could come of Karkat or Cyclos making their way in during this conversation. For that matter he didn't want them hearing anything that was said either. Which meant turning on the special noise box he'd made that made it sound like he was not only working, but listening to a kind of music that Cyclos disliked rather strongly. On top of that, just in case, he grabbed the headphones Vriska had sent him for last Twelfth Perigee's eve, special made ones that were half black, half white, and marked with his sign on either side. After that he took half a minute to compose himself before striding back to the desk, plodding down in the chair, and plugging the headphones in before putting them on.

All he had to do now was hope that Karkat didn't get it into his pan to try and barge in. It hadn't been often that Karkat had tested himself against the lock, but this was about the worst time that he could succeed against it.

"Okay," he said, breathing out after a count of ten, "tell me what happened. All of it."

"When I came in, Veruna had a 'gift' for me. Turned out they'd caught a maroon girl and..."

"Fuck. Please, Vriska, tell me you didn't..." His response was fast, knee jerk really, and Vriska's reaction was instantaneous. She all but fell apart at his words, cerulean tears forming at the corner of her eyes. If she had noticed she would have wiped him away, but Vriska was just staring at him, her eyes wide and furious and terrified. Fear wasn't something she was prone to, and so to see it on her face was... almost terrifying in its own way.

"Of course I did," she snapped. "She was dead either way. Veruna was testing me. If I let her live I would have been dead. I had too..."

The way she shook her head told him more than it was meant to. Her eyes were flashing around, unable to focus on any single point, searching for something. What it was he didn't know, but he knew the searching. He'd done it himself more than a few times. Back then he'd been searching for some sanity, some stability after Waleti's death. Surely Vriska would need her own after spattering her hands with innocent blood. The death of Calgor, a violent violetblooded hierarchist, had been more in self-defense, to keep herself sane in the face of torture. If his suspicions about her being an empath was true, well then she would have been mentally broken to stand by while another was tortured.

"Shit," was all he could respond with. How did you teach someone to get over killing someone? "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for me. Be sorry for her," Vriska spat, her voice bitter. And yet he couldn't bring himself to do anything other than pity her. "I don't need your pity. I don't fucking want it. So can we just move on?"

If that was how she needed it to be, then so be it. Besides, there was some other way he could better help her out. He made a small gesture for Vriska to continue and then started to type blindly on his husktop. For this he was going to need the nearest thing to a professional as he could muster.

"Afterward she told me it was time to prove myself to her. To prove my loyalty. She said she was going to make use of my mind. Then she told me what she wanted and... Well, you know the rest."

No, but he could guess. How long had she scrubbed her hands to clean them from the blood?

"Fuck. This isn't what we wanted," he found himself saying, try to draw her attention back to the problem at hand. He needed more time to fix the other.

"Not even in the slightest. What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

Option one? Run, maybe die. Option two? Fight, likely die. Option three? Obey and... He didn't even want to consider how that would end. So he was going to go with the one that had the best chance for her survival. They could get another in to the group. Not their own violetblood, of course. He'd ruined his reputation too much for that. But they had a promising young indigo in Capitol... Or they could have her plant a few bugs before fleeing. But those might be discovered and condemn her for sure.

"Obviously this is the time to pull the fuck out. You can't do what she wants. We're talking about killing countless trolls here." Because nothing smaller would begin to slack Veruna's lust for blood and destruction. They couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it. There was no amount of lives that were worth holding on to the illusion of Vriska's loyalty. They were supposed to be in this to protect people, not kill them.

"It's not that simple, Sollux, and you know it."

He did. That was the worst part. As much as he wanted to say no, wanted to come up with all sorts of justifications for refusing, he knew what the other option was. Even more blood and destruction. Veruna would hunt down Vriska, and her matesprit, her ashen quadrant, her black quadrant, and keep going out _ad nauseum_ until there was no one left who remembered her name. Then Veruna would resume her original plan, leaving such carnage as could be seen from the orbital station.

"I don't even want to imagine what happens if I don't do this for her," Vriska continued, her voice utterly dead. "Someone else will, and it will be far worse if they plan it. Everyone I know will be killed, including you because of your connection with Karkat. Once you're dead they'll have your system, and imagine just what they'll be able to do with that, Sollux. Everyone in the Web will be at risk, all their friends, all their families, all their quads. It's a chain reaction that we can't afford."

"And on the other hand," he sighed, shaking his head, "if you do this there'll be far more than two trolls' blood on your hands. You know that, right? Hundreds, thousands if you're unlucky, will die for your misguided attempts to protect people."

"Misguided? What's the cost if I don't do this, Sollux? Is the blood price any less?"

No.

"Is a life less valuable if the ones you kill aren't ones you know?"

The glare is one of the first few sparks of real spirit that he'd seen since the conversation had started.

"They're valuable. Dammit, Sollux, you know they're valuable. Those trolls are as important to me as Karkat or Kanaya or you. But more than just them will die if we aren't the ones planning this. We owe them everything we can give them to make their deaths worth something. If I abandon this now, who will be there to tell the Empress what needs to be said once Veruna's in the open? She hasn't believed us before that she was alive; maybe refuses to admit it. She'll have to once Veruna strikes. She intends to use this as an announcement. To... Oh fuck."

The fiery conviction that had fueled Vriska moments before was suddenly gone, replaced with an almost blind panic.

"What?"

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck."

"Vriska, what in the name of Beforus is going on?"

"It's an announcement. She's coming out and claiming responsibility after. And she told me that she'll have me at her side. I'm..."

She really must have been tired, or scarred by what had happened, because Sollux saw through to the heart of the matter almost immediately. He didn't need her to finish the sentence because he already knew what she had realized.

"Going to become one of Beforus's most wanted for acts of terrorism. Vriska, you can't do this."

He could imagine it now. Her face plastered everywhere, branded a murderer no matter how hard they worked to minimize the damage. That would ruin her, ruin many lives, even ruin the We8.

"Except I have to. I have to do this, Sollux."

"The price..." he started.

"Someone has to pay it, Sollux. And I'm in the only one who is in place to handle the price."

A faint beep punctuated her statement, and Sollux glanced briefly towards his husktop. Finally. It had taken Tavros long enough to come up with something to say. He'd been listening nearly the whole time thanks to Sollux's networking his computers and rerouting the video feed to him as well. All Sollux could hope was that whatever Tavros had to say would be enough to help Vriska.

"The question is, can you really?"

"What?" Vriska asked, her eyes wide.

"Vriska, just..." Sollux sighed, and glanced once more toward his husktop. He had to get this right. "Listen to me for a few minutes, okay? I know you said you didn't want this from me, but since you've decided that you don't want and you obviously need one, you're going to shut up and listen to me, got it?"

"Sollux, don't you even..."

"I will mute you. I swear, Vriska, I will mute you so fast that your horns will spin. So shut the fuck up and listen. If you have to, put your head down and close your eyes and pretend I'm Tavros or something? Okay?

"This is serious, Vriska. You know that. Sure, what we've been doing until now has been worth it. We've helped people. You know that just as much as I do. Cyclos would be dead without your ideas. Tavros too from what I understand. Who knows what would have happened with the case with your guardian. But there is a point where you have to step back and admit that you can't handle it. That the price isn't worth it. Is it?"

Sollux almost stopped there, not sure quite where Tavros was going with his rapid typing. It was hard enough to try and turn the brownblood's words into something that sounded like his own, but keeping up with it, cutting out the extraneous pauses, and still putting something like emotion in to it so he could get through to Vriska... It was hard even for someone who could multitask on his level.

"Think of just what this is going to do. Your whole life, left behind you. Even if we can then use the Empress and Heiress to deal with Veruna, in the end you have to pay for what you did. You'll be chased until the end of your days. They won't let you go just because you gave them Veruna. And if they take Veruna alive, they'll have you for Calgor and the maroon too. What then? Dammit, Vriska, what then?

"We've put the work in for a long time, but I think it's time to step back and let someone else do it. After all the good I've seen you do, I don't want to see you pay for it like this. I can take care of myself, and Karkat, and the Web. Leave all of that to me. If this Equius is really the kind of troll you've told me, he'll protect himself and Tavros. As for Kanaya, don't you owe her something more? Something better than seeing you on the screen declared a traitor to our people? See you hunted down and put to death?

"You owe her more, and this price, maybe this isn't one you should pay. Pack up, now, and take Kanaya and hide. Come here if you must. We'll fight to protect you. I'll fight, Karkat's moirail will fight. We can even bring Tavros here and get his help. We'll survive. But you have to let this go."

"I have to do this, Sollux. I need to."

And like that he saw what Tavros was doing. He had laid it all out, all the weight of running away, and made it seem reasonable. It was that which had hardened her resolve. She was going to do what they both knew they needed to do, even if they feared what would come of it. It was enough of a relief that he just sighed.

"I knew that," he said, finally his own words. Amazing, Tavros had managed to convince him of what they need to do as well. He'd been right to bring Tavros in to all of this. "But I had to try and make you see the full price. Maybe you already did, but I had to be sure. What we're talking about here is giving up everything. I need you to realize that cost."

"I already know it, Sollux. I know it more than you could even imagine. You don't even know how much it costs, can't understand. But I have to do this. Far more people will die if it's not us planning this. And you know it."

"I do," Sollux admitted. Tavros had won him over to that point. "I get it Vriska, I really do. It's just his isn't the kind of thing I ever wanted to do, you know?"

"I know, Sollux, Trust me. I know."

He shook his head and sighed. So they were committed. Which meant they needed to commit themselves sooner rather than later. "Come on, we better start working on this now. The more time we take to plan this, the better we can figure out how to work against it. Your night is mine."

"I'd have it no other way, Sollux. Let's deal with these irons," she responded, even as she yawned.

Poor thing. It was going to be long before she saw her slab.


	27. Chapter 27

Author's Notes: And now more story. I could continue pointing out parallels with BBL, but why bother? You get it. So, let's get to it!

* * *

Doomed To Dream – Part 27

The plan—Sollux refused to think of it in any more concrete of a way—was nearing completion. The target was selected, a rather sizable culling charity was holding a public auction that was close enough to a major healthtender hive so that the injuries could be dealt with. The only question that remained was how to attack and then how to get that plan into place. Even those were only a matter of time to work out. They had several approaches, and just had to narrow it to the most likely to work. He was running some pretty serious calculations with Tygres and Sapire to figure out just which have the right balance of maximum chaos to minimum loss of life, and soon enough they would have something.

But Vriska... Every time they spoke he could see how it was destroying her. The shadows under her eyes were growing nightly, to the point where he was certain that her matesprit had to have noticed. Not that Vriska would mention it. She was breaking, every night she was breaking even more. And he didn't know how to hold her together, even with Tavros' help.

Well... Speak of the demonbeast. She was online, far earlier in her night than she really should be.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

TA: vrii2ka what are you doiing onliine?

TA: ii2nt thii2 the tiime you 2hould be at work

TA: iim pretty 2ure that iim not wrong about the tiime diifference2 liike you u2ually are.

AG: I can't sleep.

TA: well iit ii2 a biit early two be tryiing

AG: No, Sollux, you aren't getting me. I CAN'T sleep. I h8 what I see when I do.

TA: hate or fear

AG: Fear. A8solutely fear. It's... The dreams, they...

AG: I can't handle them.

TA: ii thought you could handle anythiing vrii2ka

TA: handle all of the thiing2 or however iit wa2 that you put iit

AG: Well I was wrong. Alright? I admit it. Does that M8KE Y8U H8PPY!?

TA: no of cour2e iit doe2nt why would iit

TA: vrii2ka iif 2omethiing ii2 wrong you need two ju2t come out and tell me

...

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling adiosToreador

TA: hate two bother you e2peciially con2iideriing the fact that youre on iinvii2iible mode but ii need 2ome help wiith you know what

AT: uH,,, hOW D1D YOU KNOW 1 WAS EVEN ON, nO, nEVER M1ND, sOMETH1NG'S WRONG W1TH VR1SKA,

TA: yeah goiing two patch you iin two the conver2atiion 2tay 2iilent there and 2ugge2t thiing2 here a2 u2ual okay?

AT: dUH 1T'S NOT L1KE 1'M DENSE OR ANYTH1NG L1KE THAT

...

AG: Like I need to tell you a8out the daymares. You O8VIOUSLY read aaaaaaaall a8out them in my letters.

TA: ii already told you ii diidnt read them

TA: but maybe ii should have

AG: When I close my eyes I see Calgor there. Dead. His eyes are solid white and terri8le. He wants me to die. So does the maroon.

AG: And Terezi, she shows up and kills me for what I did. For 8eing a traitor to our people. I can F88L the 8lade, Sollux. Every fucking time.

TA: geez yeah that2 kiind of a really good rea2on two not want two 2leep

TA: ii mean iit ii2nt liike youve got year2 of blockiing that kiind of thiing out

TA: well ii 2uppo2e ii could 2ugge2t 2ome 2leep 2taviing balm brew that cyclo2 u2ed two giive me when ii wa2 a wriiggler and learniing two deal wiith the voiice2

AG: We're 8UT!

TA: okay vrii2ka ii need you two calm down here

TA: were gettiing two the poiint where ii cant tell iif youre typiing a b or are fliippiing out liike you 2ometiime2 do

AG: D8 Y8U KN8W H8W H8RD IT IS TO C8LM D8WN?

...

AT: 1 REAL1ZE THAT TH1S GO1NG TO BE, uH, aN AWKWARD TH1NG TO ASK YOU BUT YOU NEED TO DO SOMETH1NG HERE, sHE NEEDS SHOOSHED, 1,,,

TA: neiither of u2 want you two a2k what you clearly need two a2k but iit ii2 what iit ii2 2o ju2t do iit already

TA: becau2e there ii2 no way that word ii2 goiing two come out of me wiithout a 2peciifiic reque2t

AT: sOLLUX YOU NEED TO SHOOSH HER OR SOMETH1NG, aS HER UNOFF1C1AL OFF1C1AL MO1RA1L 1'M, uH, g1V1NG YOU PERM1SS1ON,

...

TA: 2hoo2h you fuckiing iidiiot ju2t 2hoo2h

TA: youre fuckiing iimpo22iible two under2tand liike thii2

AG: 8ut...

TA: 2hoo2h

TA: now what were you 2ayiing about the balm

AG: We're OUT. I've 8een having a cup or two a night since Calgor's... Since Calgor.

TA: well that2 a problem ea2iily cured by a call two a grocer but let2 not do that

TA: two much of that 2tuff two fa2t can really fuck a troll up 2o well 2ave that plan for plan q or 2omethiing

TA: whiich leave2 u2 wiith you knockiing your2elf uncon2ciiou2 or 2omethiing more dra2tiic

AG: More drastic than knocking myself upside the pan?

...

AT: cAN'T YOU DO SOMETH1NG FOR HER, sOLLUX, tHERE HAS TO BE SOMETH1NG THAT CAN MAKE 1T EAS1ER ON HER, pLEASE, 1'M BEGGING YOU, 1,,, sHE NEEDS HELP, pLEASE,

...

TA: iim hackiing a mediical apiiculture 2y2tem a2 we 2peak 2o there wiill be a 2upply of 2opor piill2 deliivered two you by drone iin the next thiirty hour2 or 2o

TA: the2e are 2ome pretty 2eriiou2 drug2 ju2t 2o you know 2o only take the do2age they lii2t a2 often a2 they 2ay

AG: And if it isn't enough?

TA: then rii2k the dream2

AG: Thanks, Sollux.

TA: thiink nothiing of iit

TA: we 2py2 have two 2tiick together

AG: More like spiders.

TA: 2ure enough

TA: oh and vri2ka

AG: Yeah?

TA: take care of your2elf

TA: ii mean iit

AG: Don't I always?

TA: iif only you could 2ee how much my eye2 were rolliing riight now

...

AT: aRE THEY REALLY,

TA: fa2t enough two make a troll diizzy

...

AG: A22hole.

TA: 8iitch

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

...

AT: 1'M WORR1ED ABOUT HER, sHE CAN'T KEEP GO1NG ON L1KE TH1S,

TA: hone2tly tavro22 ii dont thiink any of u2 can the 2ooner vrii2ka come2 around and admiit2 how much 2he need2 you the better

AT: vR1SKA 1SN'T THE KIND OF PERSON TO ADM1T TH1NGS L1KE THAT, 1 GUESS THAT 1S PART OF WHAT 1 L1KE ABOUT HER, sHE'S ALWAYS SO STRONG,

TA: 2trength wiill only get u2 2o far

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling adiosToreador

* * *

"Vriska?" Sollux asked a night later as Vriska started to get up from her desk. He had to frown at her. "We're kind of in the middle of things here."

"Sorry, Sollux, dear, there's a knock knock knocking on my door. I've got to see to it."

"Vriska!" he shouted, before shaking his head. She was gone, and he was left to do nothing but stare at her chair on the screen.

"I, uh, suppose any distraction from what you're doing is going to help her," Tavros mumbled after several minutes, drawing Sollux's eyes to the other open chat screen. "She..."

"Yeah, I know. But just so you know, the two of you need to stop dancing around this. I don't fucking like being your go between."

"I don't like it either," Tavros admitted, raising his metal arm to scratch at the chipping sealant on one of his horns. "That doesn't mean you don't have to use the resources you're given to make the best of things, right? For all that Vriska sees herself as the spider in a web..."

"I'm the one tugging the strings," Sollux agreed, sighing. "I'm just worried the anchor line is going to break just when we need it the most."

"Don't. Vriska's tougher than that. She'll make it."

Sollux was less sure. She was no better now than she had been a few days before, and it wasn't like she had much more sleep since then.

"Anyway, let's get some more..."

Tavros shook his head as there was the sound of footprints from Vriska's feed. Apparently she was already on her way back.

"Where..." Sollux started as Vriska appeared at the edge of the screen and seated herself. He trailed off, though, at the signs of tears on her face. Great. Just what had happened here?

"It's nothing," she said, waving it off as if nothing was happening. As if he was going to let that slide by.

"Bullshit. If you think I'm going to fall for that line, you're touched in the pan. You were gone for nearly half an hour. What the fuck happened?"

"Sollux, please, I'm totally not in the mood to deal with this."

He could even see Tavros roll his eyes at that line.

"Tough. Fucking get in the mood. Have you already forgotten...?"

"No!" Vriska snapped, her eyes narrowed in a vicious glare. "I'm tired of it, Sollux. I won't have you fucking with my pan any more."

"I'm not..."

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up!"

"The poor thing," Tavros whispered in Sollux's ear. "I just wish I could..."

"Vriska, geez. Will you just calm the fuck down? Take some deep breaths or something. And then, once you've done that, clean the wax out of your aural sponge clots and let me speak my fucking piece. Got it?"

"Sollux... Uh, you're kind of..." Tavros started to say, but Sollux already knew what he was about to point out. He could feel the psionic energy crackling around him.

...

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling adiosToreador

TA: ju2t giive me 2omethiing two 2ay becau2e ii am hone2tly tiired of thii2 2hiit

AT: 1,,, oKAY SAY TH1S,

...

"I've said it once, twice actually, and it's really annoying to have to say it again. Vriska, you don't have to do all this shit alone. There are people… people you can depend on. You need to depend on them if they are going to depend on you. This whole thing, it gets serious soon, and you know it. Can you really afford to keep having all of these breakdowns? We can't afford you falling apart. You're getting unstable. Vriska Serket, I'm saying this as a friend, but you need a fucking moirail. Not in a sweep or two, not in a perigee, not in a week, but now. Vriska, leave this phase of the planning to me, and go talk to him."

"I don't know who you're talking about," Vriska whispered so softly that Sollux almost didn't catch it.

"Fucking masochist," he snapped. "I swear that if you don't talk to him soon, I'm going to make sure he talks to you."

"Sollux, I can't let him be..."

"Sollux, don't you dare tell her I'm..."

"If you think he's not willing to take that risk, then you're an idiot. A moirail will do anything for their quad. If he's meant to be yours, then he'll do whatever you need to get through this. And if he won't, he's not your moirail and you need to find another, fast. With what we've got to do in these next few weeks..."

"I tried Sollux. I did. He... Wasn't there when I needed him," Vriska whimpered.

"Fuck," he whispered to himself, shaking his head. No. This wasn't possible. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck. That was when... Fuck!"

"Sollux," Vriska and Tavros asked at the same time, both sounding concerned. If only they understood. If only he hadn't...

"Shit. Vriska, I have something I've really got to do right now, okay? Why don't you just... I don't know, do something. I've got something I have to... Fuck. Talk tomorrow."

"Sollux?"

He closed out Vriska's window before she could say anything else, leaving him with only Tavros, looking on at him in concern.

"What's going on?" Tavros demanded. "You just scared her. You shouldn't be doing that right now!"

"Don't you get it, Tavros? She tried to talk to you yesterday. She didn't get through because you were on invisible, and I was distracting you!"

"We... Oh Sollux, we fucked up, didn't we?"

"No, Tavros. I fucked up. Just me. Now I've got to find a way to fix it."


End file.
